Meeting the vicar for the 1st time tomorrow!!

Firstly Chill!!

We've just had two meetings with two different ministers within 4 days!!

I don't know what sort of church you're getting married in - at a guess CofE so their questions might be slightly differentas we're marryingin a methodist church.

At our first meeting the minister asked our names, ages, where we worked and generally had a chat so that he could get to know us. As well as asking why we felt we wanted to get married. But it was awhile ago now so I can't remember if there was much else!!

Our second meeting was a little different as we knew the minister so he already knew us as people. We hadn't seen him for a while so had a catch up about where me and my partner are working now and we chatted about how our toddler is getting on. He did ask if we knew what hymns we wanted and whether we had decided on our entrance/exit music. He also asked what witnesses we were planning on having and if we had any one who we wanted to do any readings etc.

Then he went on to ask a few more questions about why we wanted to get married and why we felt it should be in a church. But relax because as long as you're marrying for the right reasons your vicar will see this!!

Good Luck x

Our first meeting was just a chat. To get to know us, why we wanted to get married in the church dates times etc. he also asked us questions about each other I guess to make sure it was all legitimate. Then at the end we had a little prayer.

Every meeting we have had with our vicar has been fine. Although every time I was always nervous before hand.

hope all goes well for you.

We're doing a CofE church. We met our Rector a bit early, and it was just a hello, and to check that we met the criteria for marrying in the church, because it's not our parish. Then we went back a few weeks after, once we had thought of a few dates, and since it was 15 months before, the date was unsurprisingly available.

• Meeting the eligibility/connection to the church.
• If your date is free.
• Date of birth, nationality, address.
• If you've been married before or not.
• The names of your fathers and their occupation (still not sure why)

Just use it as an informal chat, to see what he's like, cause it does matter. Also ask for the years price list, it increases each year, but we found it helpful for working out the estimates for next year, ie, price of the organist, choir boys, church bells, the use of the church.

Be aware of one thing, that didn't occur to us, but the rector told us, if you get married in church during lent, you cannot have church bells, flowers, or choir boys. If it's not a CofE church this might be different, but, it did change the month we decided on. Also, if you video your wedding, you have the pay the organist double, because you are showcasing their work.

Thanks all for your advice! Yes it's CoE. Lots to consider, I didn't realise the impact lent had - luckily we want to get married just after Easter so hopefully shouldn't be an issue.

I was quite surprised as to how quickly he requested to see us as we said we're looking at April 2017. I guess there's no time like the present and at the very least should help us secure the date we want

In fairness we had no idea either, and very glad to have found that out before we picked the date.

And one other thing I forgot, bans, they will (probably not now, but no harm in having more info than you need) if you are marrying outside the parish they will need to know, but probably not now, which parish you are in. If you don't know, / will tell you ?

Its worth asking if there are any photo restrictions during the ceremony. Are the vows and ring exchange ok to be photographed for example. The clergy are more open these days, although there is no hard and fast rule and some ban photography completely.

Peter

Meeting went well, he was really lovely! Asked lots of questions and he explained the process - no restrictions which is great. Only thing is he retires next year so a different vicar will marry us.

A different vicar "may" have different rules...worth asking if what you discussed will be honoured by an incoming replacement....

I photographed a recent wedding where the incumbant vicar went on a sabbatical and his replacement was a "no photos at all" guy.

In the end, as I was a local photographer who knew the vicar from his previous church, he did relent and for the first time allowed some photography. So much is lost if you dont get these shots...there are expressions and looks to each other, that will never be seen without a tog quietly capturing this....