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Beginner July 2025 North Yorkshire

Meeting the vicar on Thursday - help!

Millie, 2 October, 2023 at 12:36 Posted on Planning 0 1

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Hi everyone!

My fiancé and I are meeting our vicar for the first time on Thursday evening - we are extremely excited about this and have discussed over the phone with her our ideal date and brief details about the reception.

She sounded so lovely on the phone and was really pleased that we'd like to get married at the church. But the closer it gets to Thursday, the more I'm worrying about everything!

- Is there anything we need to bring?

- Is there any information she may need that I should have in mind?

- Neither of us are church-goers, will this be an issue?

- What kind of questions might she ask?

I don't know what to expect so I may be getting a bit ahead of myself as it'll only be our first time meeting, but I just want to make sure I'm prepared as we really want it to go well!

Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks

(Note: we have lived in the Parish for 2 years, and my mum has lived in the Parish for 24ish years)

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Latest activity by Joseph, 4 October, 2023 at 06:09

VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 2 October, 2023 at 13:10
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Try not to worry about it - Vicars are used to dealing with weddings, and I'm sure if she'd wanted you to bring anything with you, she would have mentioned it. Vicars are also used to putting nervous couples at their ease, so I'm sure you'll soon feel relaxed, but if for any reason you don't get on with her, maybe it's a good time to ask if you really want someone who makes you feel nervous or unwelcome to be performing your marriage ceremony?!
What you might be asked depends hugely on the vicar - she may ask why you are interested in a church wedding. Some vicars also require you to attend some marriage preparation sessions - which can actually be really helpful anyway if they are well done.
One thing you might want to check is what is allowable in terms of music, readings etc in the church - some vicars won't allow secular readings/music, while others will allow it as long as it is 'in keeping' with Christian belief (i.e. you probably won't get away with a reading in praise of atheism!) So it would be worth asking if there are any restrictions on what you can and can't have.
If it's a popular/busy church, then also worth asking when you can access it if you are wanting to decorate it. You don't want to plan on decorating the evening before only to find that it's hosting a youth group or something!
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