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Beginner June 2012

Miffed about my Hen Do!!!

Country Flower, 15 March, 2012 at 14:28 Posted on Planning 0 10
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Feeling rather miffed so going to have a little rant - apologies in advance!

Ok, just to set the scene I do not have loads of girly friends - I have a very (Very) small circle of close friends then everyone else are mainly people who I see at various functions, work colleagues etc. I'm quite happy with this arrangement, however, when it came to the Hen Do arrangements I was dreading it. My H2B has already had his Stag and had 20 lads go with him, I felt under pressure from H2B and MIL to have a big hen do etc.

I knew I didn't want your typical Hen Do night out/weekend away type thing. I wanted something like a country persuits weekend in a log cabin - the prblem was that all of these were coming up too expensive to ask my friends with small children and my extended circle of friends (Mainly H2B's WAGs) to pay. Comeuppance is that I have spent too long trying to find the right activity at the right price. Now we have finally found something that I think will be fun but the Hen Do company needed paying within the week as it is only 7 weeks away, so we have only been able to give the ladies a weeks notice to come up with £150 - which is a lot to ask and as such no one apart from my BM has said they are coming. So now I just feel embarrassed really.

I'm thinking I should just cancel. I'm having a meal locally anyway with around 15 friends and family and never really wanted the clubby type squealy girly night away thing that I have ended up witjh. I feel really sulky and quite upset. I feel I have been pressured in to have a big Hen Do which isn't really me...and now its not worked out I feel that everyone will be saying 'ooh no ones going on her hen do!!' At this rate there is me, My BM, MIL and her friend!

WWYD? Am I being silly or would you cancel and just go with the meal?

10 replies

Latest activity by Country Flower, 19 March, 2012 at 13:03
  • Nutella
    Beginner March 2013
    Nutella ·
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    If you're not bothered about the bigger hen do then just go with a small meal, don't do the big one just to keep others happy. However if what you had planned is what you want to do then do it anyway with just your BM's.

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  • skyrocket
    Beginner July 2012
    skyrocket ·
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    I agree. You have to do what you really want.

    I'm not the clubby type any more (have worked in that field too long and I don't drink anyways) and like you I don't have a massive circle of close female friends.

    No-one organised anything for my hen and all I had wanted was to go to a spa. Anything I looked at was too expensive or not what 'they' wanted to do etc, so in the end I thought stuff it, and I booked myself into a spa for all day pampering on my own.

    That will be my hen and tragic as it may seem, I'm getting the hen I wanted, how I wanted it and I don't have to please anyone else.

    I really envy girls on here who have good close friends who organise stuff for them and treat them, because I don't have that.

    Sometimes you have to just do what you want and stuff anyone else.

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  • Zoomo13
    Beginner August 2015
    Zoomo13 ·
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    If its not what you really want to do i would cancel it otheriwse you could end up loosing your money or worse still end up having to pay for it all. its your hen night so dont worry about othe rpeople, its your night so do what makes you happy x

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I agree maybe go for something smaller.

    I've got to admit that even if it was my best friend I wouldn't be able to come up with £150 in a week.

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  • F
    Beginner March 2013
    flower71 ·
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    I hate the way hens and stags are such a huge deal these days, people seem to have forgotten that it's about what the individual wants to do! I haven't got anyone to organise mine, but I won't be doing anything huge, even so it's always a difficult one where money is involved. I'd arrange a meal and let everyone know the plan as far in advance as possible. Just remember it's what YOU want to do!

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  • S
    SarahThompson ·
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    I agree, it should be what YOU want to do, not what you think everyone should do. I would hate to be a bride these days or a BM/MOH either having to organise a Hen do. I was quite happy with a meal then a club, well ok so i had another one up near my parents a few nights before the wedding but again that was just a few drinks, nothing big. I've had to turn down invites to Hen do's as I've just not been able to afford them and having the children also means I have to pay out for childcare if OH is working so that adds to the expense too if it's over a weekend. A small do with a meal or some drinks is much easier and simpler to organise and anybody with children wouldn't need to sort as much childcare

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  • Tracy2012
    Beginner June 2012
    Tracy2012 ·
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    WSS, £150 is a lot of money.

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  • Flumpkin
    Beginner December 2012
    Flumpkin ·
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    Bless you - I understand totally what you are torn between. Personally I would have your lovely meal with the 15 or so, cancel the other one and forget all about it. It really is what YOU want to do and it sounds like you have been talked into something that you did not want to do because that is what you feel you should be doing. Good luck ?

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  • 3d jewellery
    3d jewellery ·
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    Cancel and have the small meal, at the end of the day it should only be about what YOU want you are the bride. Also it's a lot of money so i think people will be secretly relieved

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  • Shamy
    Beginner September 2014
    Shamy ·
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    I would cancel it and go for the meal (which sounds lovely). It sounds like that's all you've wanted to do all along, so go for it. It's all well and good when people make 'helpful' suggestions like this but unless they're going to help with the planning and organising then it isn't worth the hassle!

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  • C
    Beginner June 2012
    Country Flower ·
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    Thank you ladies. It has turned out that there are now 9 of us going to the Hen Weekend - I'm feeling a lot happier now and starting to look forward to it more. On the other hand I've just realised its only 11 weeks to the wedding!!! Eeek!

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