Mixed Culture Wedding - does this sound ok?

I think your plans sounds great and you have obviously put a lot of effort into coming up with a wedding plan that brings in all the elements that matter to you.

In terms of point number 1, whatever you plan re weddings someone will always take offence. If this is the best plan for you then don't be swayed and dont let their negativity bring you down.

Regarding point two, when i have had couples that want to include gift list info but don't want to be so obvious, they have used one of those free wedding websites to put lots of additional info (including gifts) and then just include the link in the invitation. Alternatively, two different inserts would also work, particularly if you have invites handmade as that gives you more flexibilty

Look forward to hearing more about your planning

Anna

Oh WOW this sounds like the best day ever! I would LOVELOVELOVE to go to a wedding like this - it will be such an experience for people who have never been to a Hindu ceremony before (and vice versa).

In answer to your question, I would personally send two different invitations to different guests - I would see this not as treating the 'differently', but as honouring their individual cultural expectations and backgrounds. Everyone's different and that's what will make your day fantastic - different invitations just seems an extension of the IMO.

Keep us updated though!

xx

It sounds fine and cpmpletely doable. My friends wedding started with the Hindu ceremony then they did the civil after, but that is completely up to you.

I'm also having a mixed cultured wedding, but ours is Vietnamese and Hindu. To fit in all the traditions and make it less tiring we're having 2 wedding dates, the Catholic/Vietnamese the first week, then the Hindu the following week. So I get my white wedding dress, Vietnamese dress and Indian lehnga...going to be great!

In regards to the curry service, yes I think it works almost like a buffet, you end up spending a lot more if you have it served per table. From what I remember of the weddings that I've attended with OH's family, the invites tend to say 'no boxed gifts' in the corner and everyone gives money. So yes like people have said above do different inserts for different people. We have a 'no boxed gifts' for the Hindu invites but we have a registered list for the Vietnamese wedding.

It all does depends on how traditional you want to make it. Hindu ceremonies tend to take quite a long time, there are games to play and photo's take forever

Let me know if you need help with anything. I can kind of understand the thinkings of Hindu weddings now.

1) Tell your aunts you are sorry but this is the way it is. If you're not bothered by a small white lie, tell them this is just the bit you have to do to make it legal but you see the afternoon ceremony as the real wedding. Would it appease them/would it be possible for you to invite them to the lunch meal? Is there any way you could do the legal bit anywhere with more space? (I'm assuming you haven't already booked a venue without thinking it all through.) We're getting married in a register office and it holds 100 people, we're then doing an afternoon tea for those 100 people in a church hall before having an Indian sit-down meal in the evening (although no ceremony as I put my foot down about that, we didn't want one). It is being table served but what happens is that a bowl of every dish is brought to each table and people help themselves to what they want... I didn't want the confusion and chaos of 200 people at a buffet. Would this be an option for you? It's fairly standard for Indian caterers. Sorry if I've misread you on this point!

2) I would do two invites in this case. We left all gift info off our invites and I think the Indian people coming to the evening will in all likelihood assume we want money.

I am having a mixed culture wedding too. We are having a civil ceremony followed by a Bahai religious ceremony. Both are taking place at the same venue so we are inviting everyone to everything.

It sounds like you have worked really hard to make a compromise between your own wants for the day and MiLs so that everyone will have a really good time so the last thing you need is your aunts moaning. I suggest either you tell them that's how it is or get your mum/ dad to do the honours to help you out?

I included gift list information on my invites, if you are unsure you could always get some inserts with details of the gift list printed off (or if you are with John Lewis they provide them) and then just stick them in the cards you think appropriate.

Thank you everybody for your help, you have all made me feel a whole lot better about the plan. The more I think about it and talk it over with H2B we both like it a lot and are paying our deposit tomorrow! Mum has been charged with getting the aunties in line. Thank you for re-exciting me about my wedding!

I would love to go to a wedding like this.

What an amazing day you have planned, it sounds fantastic. Just remember it's your day not your aunties or any other relative's. As someone else mentioned you can't pleased everyone.

Sounds completely amazing!! want to go!!!!

Ignore aunts and that... we're only having 20 or so to the registry office, and even that is more than we wanted. It is your day.

We had our registry list info on slips and put in into most of the invites though not some people who felt had already done too much or who we didn't think would like the sound of it e.g. my grandmother.

Confusedgirl, I'm a Hindu myself and my OH is CofE, however neither of us is religious so we're just having a civil ceremony. We did contemplate a Hindu ceremony but this may be an issue if we try to do everything on the same day as OH's mum is ill and wheelchair bound. Our plans may change but for now, we are happy to keep it as it is (we're getting married in September 2012).

I think your suggestion is fair and takes into account OH's family and from a cultural perspective, this will buy you brownie points with the FMIL! It also means you get to wear your white dress! Indian weddings ARE a lot of fun and I'm sure you will have an amazing day. Don't forget, the most important thing is that you are happy with the plans and that it is impossible to keep everybody happy. I think a word from your mum might help, as was somebody's suggestion above.