moh booked wedding two days after mine

It sounds as if your friend may be a people pleaser and is just giving in to what works for the other bridesmaid because she knows that you won't make a fuss while the other bridesmaid will. The only thing you can do is to decide what you are willing to put up with, set some boundaries and stick to them.

E.g. with the dress - I know a lot of people say it's the bride's day & you just put up with what she picks, but I think there's a huge difference between wearing a dress you just don't like and wearing one you feel is too revealing. Since you are MOH anyway, it would have been quite normal for you to have a different style dress to the other bridesmaids, so it seems really unnecessary that you are 'made' to wear the one dress you feel is immodest on you. In your place, I would have just stated what I was prepared to do (e.g. I'm happy to wear any of those 29 dresses, but the 30th one is too revealing. If that's your choice, I'm happy to step down as bridesmaid if that makes things easier for you) and stuck to it.

If it was me, I’d think the most important thing is your own wedding and relationship. Yours was booked first and presuming your MOH knew, or could reasonably have assumed, you would then be on honeymoon, then I think your issue with the dress is resolved as surely your HTB (and hence honeymoon) are more important than cancelling it to accommodate her wedding that has subsequently been booked (may have been different if she’d booked first of course).

I’d say sorry they clash and you’d have loved to be there to support her, but of course can’t as you’ll be on honeymoon.

Presuming once your weddings are over you’d like to stay friends with her, then you probably need to do something a bit special for her to ‘make up’ for not being there (even though you shouldn’t have to, it’s worth being the bigger person if you’re looking at the bigger picture ). Maybe get her something special for her wedding day so you’re there in spirit, or have your own special extra hen night for the two of you only, two brides-to-be together, so you can do some early celebrating. If your friendship is solid, in years to come you’ll probably laugh about how stressful it all got.

I get how you might be feeling, my partners family come with a huge side order of drama they'd fit right in with eastenders! We have had to leave some of them off the list to avoid a typical 'london' wedding!

If your wedding was booked first and she was aware of this then I would put your wedding, happiness and partner first, while her booking date may have been unavoidable and being a MOH is a big honour it shouldn't come at the price of your own wedding!

It sounds like the other bridesmaid is deliberately stirring things up between you, if you're paying for your own bridesmaid dresses, can you not each wear a dress of same/similar colour/design but different cuts to suit each of you? Someone claiming they have no free weekends barring the only one you can't do? unless they're a mother of 10+, a soccer mum on the PA who runs their own multi industry business I don't buy it, almost seems like the maid is trying to push you out.

This whole matter boils down to a matter of friendship and its value to each of you I suppose, after all, given her choice of date you will not be able to be her MOH anymore. With all the aggro and accusations shes flung at you will she still do her duties for yours with good grace? If this other bridesmaid is so intent on disharmony why not suggest this other woman take over and she can have all the aggro of MOH?

Do what makes you happy lovely, this sounds more like a recipe for misery and worry. Maybe you need to step away for your happiness and maybe even to save your friendship?

Good Luck lovely