moh issues ?

Hi hun.

Not sure what is going on here with your MOH, but at a guess, I'd say she's feeling insecure about 'losing' her friend and is over-compensating by having her wedding as close to yours as possible. There's probably other forces and feelings at work here as well. From what you have said, it seems like quite a short engagement, and a bit of a rush for her wedding - what is the hurry? I bet if you dig a little deeper there will be some interesting answers!

Maybe she doesn't want to feel "left behind" or "left out", and wants some bridal attention herself.

The main thing is to focus on your own relationship with your partner, and your wedding. If you can't be there for hers, well so be it. It does seem a little weird to be insisting on having her wedding so close to yours. Maybe the date is deliberate in some way - does she really want you there? Or is she out to steal your thunder?

If it was me, I'd call her bluff and tell her outright you won't be available. Let that settle for a while and see what comes back.

Just all seems a bit weird to me.

We have postponed our September wedding by 12 months, and will now be marrying just 4 weeks before my "neice" - my cousin's daughter. We all had a conversation about it, and it's all fine - not really much we could do in terms of rescheduling, we needed a September date and my neice had booked her October 2021 wedding back in January of this year. Typical! You wait ages for a family wedding and then two come along at once!

My cousin and I are more like sisters, so actually this is has worked out great as we can all wedding plan and share ideas and resources. Maybe this might be the motivation behind your friend's choice of date, maybe she wants to share this experience with you?

Hope this helps,

Ali xx

View quoted message Hi Ali,



Wow thank you so much for your response. It’s really helped me clarify that I’m not crazy and that this is very strange behaviour on her part. I’ve told my close friends and family about it and they have all said it’s so strange too. So I posted it on this platform to get an outsiders perspective and opinion.
I did call her out on it and said how can you expect all of this from me financially and for time off work and emotionally too. She has essentially asked me in a round about way to change my honeymoon dates/cut my honeymoon short or to not attend my honeymoon to be here for her wedding. I stupidly offered to try and change my honeymoon (as a bluff) and she actually agreed to it. She said that’s the date they’re going for and if I can’t make it she understands and it’s ok. I told her I could never make this date MONTHS ago (before she asked me to be MOH). There’s been no compromise on her end and we’ve not spoken in over a week now.
As it stands it seems we are no longer friends, which is devastating, however she has done strange this like this to me in the past so I’m beginning to think it’s for the best and that this has happened for a reason.
Your situation sounds good with your niece, I wouldn’t even mind 1 month apart, but 13 days is too close as we are almost like sisters. A lot of guests will also be having to choose who’s wedding/hen party to attend as they won’t all get the time off in the same month.
I also think it’s different as you have had to reschedule yours due to corona whereas this hasn’t happened here.

Thank you again. Needed to read this. I’m staying strong and not changing my honeymoon date. Xx

Hi Alice

Glad to have been of some help! Sometimes it is good to get the opinion of others not involved in the drama!

This is not the behaviour of a true friend, go and have fun making new ones! There is no way on Earth that a true friend would ask you to change any of your plans or try and compete in any way, so I think you right to stick to your guns.

Best of luck chick!

Ali xx