MOH keeps calling me a bridezilla

Is ure moh a good friend or relative? Id just say to her that with the wedding now getting closer u need to start getting things organised and would appreciate her cooperation as u have many things that need to get sorted. Xx

Oooh that sounds infuriating!! That would really rile me.

I would just reply with 'Bridezilla or not, if I don't get your measurements I'll guess them and you'll have to hope for the best'.

With regards to the airport - just pick one for her. Before you book it just say let her know what the plan is - give her a bit of time (as in a day or so) to either spur into action or just let you get on with it.

She is my best friend of nearly 20 years. She has always taken the mick out of me for being bossy and organised and me for her being ridiculously sarcastic but it is getting too close to not get on with stuff now.

If it were me i would be open and honest and in a nice manner tell her things needs to get moving and you would greatly appreciate her help but not the bridezilla jokes. Sometimes jealousy can bring the worse out in people, could that be a reason?

Dont let it get you down though im sure it will all get sorted :-)

I would give her a ring instead of texting or emailing and ask her outright, explain that you need the measurements now so could she please go and get a tape-measure and sort it out and then I'd say that if she wants you to book her flight for her, you can do that but that the longer she waits the higher the price will get and hopefully she'll get the message. If she then calls you a bridezilla, you can say well, fine, but that doesn't change the fact that you need the information.

The problem with texting or messaging people is you don't hear the tone of voice so she may be just joking. My sister called me it to my face, all because I made a joke about her having let her daughter (my flower girl) get her hair cut short - it was a joke and everyone else took it as such!!

Thanks Kharv, that sounds like excellent advice

My best friend of 25 years (MOH) and I have a similar relationship - I'm bossy, she takes any opportunity to tell me so ?

She wasn't that bad when I was planning but she did mention the bridezilla word a couple of times - like you though, it was just when I had to chase her for stuff (measurements being one of them, I seem to remember! Ha!).

I think a lot of it is down to not understanding the timescales involved in planning a wedding - especially when it comes to things like bridesmaid dresses.

If she's anything like my best mate, she'll be saying it with love and relatively tongue in cheek - but with the knowledge of how much she's pissing me off! ?

I think she sounds a bit jealous. It reminds me of one of my friends - her OH is one of our best men (and a really good friend of my OH) and she hasn't shown any interest in our day. I was telling everyone to book their rooms and she didn't do hers. Then everywhere got booked up and she left it to me to sort it out. It annoyed me that she hadn't bothered to sort it out herself, particularly when her OH is a best man. Me and my OH were talking about it and I said how it had annoyed me. OH said it's because she's jealous. It hadn't occurred to me!

So, I suspect that this may be the case with your MOH. Yes, she may be a long time friend (the same in my case) but often there is more going on beneath the surface and it is probably hitting her that the wedding is coming up soon and she needs to face up to it. I think you should meet up with her for a coffee (or ring her if she doesn't live near) and just explain how it's making you feel. You can be jokey about it, and if she calls you bridezilla then you can ask if she is going to say that on the wedding day?! When will you not be a bridezilla anymore? I think she is being ridiculous and childish and not a very good friend.

This is exactly us!!

She has been supportive in listening to ideas and there is absolutely no question of her not being there (I'm not into this 'sacking' your bridal party thing) and I'm certain it is done in jest and she does enjoy winding me up, I just need this info!!!!!!

She is also rubbish at answering her phone and replying to texts - I'm not painting her in a good light here! I will call her again in a day or two and try some of the techniques suggested!

Ha! I honestly don't think she's jealous or anything like that. You've been friends for many years and this is how your relationship is - so just take charge. She expects it anyway ?

With the measurements - I ended up going round for a girly night in and dragged her upstairs with a tape measure. ?

I get called it all the time by friends and bridesmaids, when I am keen to have things organised early. But they didn't book my hen party early enough, now date has had to be changed to one that really isn't suitable so a lot of people can't or won't come. If it had been booked earlier then we'd have got the date that was suitable for everyone. But I'm a Bridezilla who knows nothing, not that I've organised eight hen parties in the past, or anything. Exact same with MF - he had three jobs to do, and this week I've done two of them. Was lucky to get availablility but the price is high - again, his problem for not doing it sooner.

Things are bad at the moment and it doesn't help to be called something I'm very clearly not!

I feel your pain! My parents this time have been totally uninterested (which is better!) but for my first wedding my Mum and sisters just called me a Bridezilla, and said I was 'obsessed' with weddings every time I mentioned it. I am not the sort of person to be particularly vocal about things and I know I was only mentioning things on a need to know basis, but they were horrible. It got to the point where I didn't dare mention a thing about the wedding to them, and a week before, they didn't have any details about transport/times etc and then accused me of not including them!! Grrrrrrrrrr!

My sister (younger) calls me a bridezilla all the time, she does it because she knows it really pi$$e$ me off, my dad has also said I am obsessed with weddings and to 'chill out' as I have ages yet, that was about 3 weeks after I'd gotten engaged and I only mentioned weddings because his wife asked me if we'd thought about it yet! lol

So now I don't talk about my wedding to anyone except OH, you guys and people who ask specifically, for fear of being called a bridezilla!

I'd just do as Kharv mentioned and ask her to give you the measurements or you'll have to guess and it'll be her that looks silly if it's wrong. It is very frustrating when your bridal party don't seem to realise that it takes a lot of forward thinking to plan these things

Good luck!

I know it's a little random, but before you check flights again, clear all the cookies on your computer. Some companies increase the price the more you look at them so clearing your cookies tricks their webiste and the price may reduce. It's worth a try.

Really!!!! ?

Scandalous!

P.s Love the quote in your sig!

Hi there!

i don't think you're a Bridezilla at all.....you've been perfectly justified each time you've had to ask again! xx

As far as I know its the low budget airlines if you know who I mean ?, but yeah, terrible isn't it.

te he he, thanks.

Hi, one of my bridesmaids who is grooms sister didn't give me her measurements as she kept saying she wanted to lose weight. In the end I ordered a dress through guess work and posted it to her (she lives overseas). It doesn't quite fit her so she is now desperately slimming to get into it! So you aren't a bridezilla for asking for her measurements!

Hi,

I completely understand where you are coming from.

From what I have read I take this to be two things.

1. She does not get the planning involved in a wedding and so that is why she does not understand the fuss and all that. (she will see when she gets married).

2. She is jealous of you. Now not saying she is malicious, but honestly jealousy can come out in the best of friendships...when the other person does not feel their life is going the way they like. But this is her issue to deal with and not for you to worry about.

I have one person who often calls me a show off (in a jokey way) and it winds me up, as I am just confident when speaking with people. I think its because they really lack confidence in themselves.

Also I agree with what some of you ladies have put about people thinking you are banging on about your wedding and this is also why this site is fantastic!

xxxxx

Tbh she sounds like she's being bitchy/petty/jealous. Like a passive aggressive dig, personally I'd sit her down and just say look I'm sorry if you feel I'm being a bridezilla but I'm just trying to get everything organised, I bet she will be all like I didn't mean it/it was a joke.

I really, honestly don't think she's being petty, jealous, bitchy or anything else - I think she's just replaced the word bossy with the word bridezilla for now.

Obviously, only you know your friend Dr B, and if you feel she is being those things then absolutely have a word but if, like you say, she's like my best mate - there's no malice there and you'll just create an argument for no reason.

Just take control of the situations where she's dragging her feet. My best mate is one of my favourite people in the whole world. Yes, it drives me bonkers when she calls me bossy but we've been so close for so long that we're more like sisters than friends. And with that comes a certain amount of over familiarity!

I don't think she is being petty or jealous. I've been with OH only slightly less time than I've known her and she has been there with me every step of the agonising wait for an engagement ring (12 years!!!)

She is a really selfless person and incredibly aware of other people emotions so I know she knows she is winding me up - I on the other hand are blind to what others are feeling and really rubbish at reading between the lines!

I'm not sure if weight loss has something to do with it. She recently lost loads of weight on Lighter Life. I have no idea how she did it - all the 'meals' looked awful but she lost loads and it boosted her confidence and she looked amazing. She started seeing a guy and all was great and she started eating normal food again. They broke up and I don't know if she has put on weight (as I said we live hours apart and don't manage to see a huge amount of each other unfortunately) and maybe this is stopping her from wanting to give me measurements. Almost not facing up to any weight gain. I don't care what size she is, I was touched she wanted to lose weight for the wedding but it doesn't matter two poops to me.

Anyway I digress. I had a text from her this morning saying sorry we didn't speak last night and she will call me later today. Ive also sent a couple of pics to her and my BM to ask what dress shape they prefer so hopefully this will push it again a bit more without me having to confront it full on! I can get started on the BM's anyway as I can only sew one dress at a time.

Thanks for your help ladies.

Hi DrBuffles,

I thought I would share my story since it is so similar to mine.

I had my wedding in 2013. My MOH who was my best friend stayed in China with her husband due to employment reasons.

Similarly, I was given a deadline by the dressmakers to submit the bridesmaids' measurements. I reminded her repeatedly over a span of 3 weeks for her measurements. There were always excuses. The first was "I don't know how to measure myself!", the second week was "I'm having a holiday in korea!". I reminded her nicely one more time 3 days before the deadline about how badly I need the measurements due to the deadline. It was met by the usual "ok" but no measurements.

The deadline came. A few hours before the deadline, I scolded her for her tardiness. She threatened not to attend my wedding and told me that she hasn't even bought a tape measurement tape!

After sitting down and thinking through about my entire wedding preparation, I decided enough was enough. This woman was my best friend, someone whom I have easily known for 14 years. During the 1 year of my wedding preparation, she has done nothing to help except to tell me that I am a bridezilla (especially when I showed her all my ideas for decoration). Week after week, our conversation will begin as "how is the wedding preparation going, bridezilla?" I have asked nothing of her except for her measurements so that I can buy a dress for her. Yet, I was labeled as a 'bridezilla'! Although I asked her opinion about the DIY decorations, I have never asked her to do the decorations for me!

In the end, I decided that I've had enough of this labeling of 'bridezilla' which I felt was undeserving and insulting. I got someone else to take over the duties of maid of honour. I told her that she can do other duties as bridesmaid instead. To make things less nasty, I avoided the title MOH throughout my entire wedding and basically just equally addressed each of them as bridesmaid. I felt that I needed someone I could count on and someone who will be supportive of me on that day. And I was glad that I made this difficult decision in the end!

To summarise, it's going to be your big day. You need someone who will be there for you; someone who will not threaten to walk out on you for small little things; someone who will not call you bridezilla when you are about to break down when things mess out on your big day.

Up till this day, MOH and I are still friends though we are not as close as before. I've just had a baby and when she came over to visit, she called me a momzilla (what's new honestly?) This remark was made when I was casually chatting with my friends on the sofa and my mum was looking after baby.

I guess some people just have to put others down or find it fun and interesting to give others negative labels. So let them be. U can make the decision to stay away from them and find more supportive people in your life.