Money envelopes

Unfortunately you have touched on a subject which always seems to get much discussion on here. Also the problem with asking question on a public message board is that sometimes people don't always answer your question, but give you opinions, on your ideas, that you never asked for. There is no right or wrong answer because at the end of the day it is YOUR wedding and you know your friends and family well enough to know whether they would find a little card and envelope inside their invitation presumptuous.

I am sure you could find little cards to use in your wishing well, however I do think that a bigger wishing well or a post box would be a good idea because people will want to buy you wedding cards anyway and will want somewhere to put them so you would have to get something to put them in too or they'll just get put on the table.

PS. I used a little poem too and I got comments from guests on how they thought it was a lovely way to say we would appreciate money towards our honeymoon, so its a matter of opinion on that one too ?

Personal threats?!?! Hahahahaha!!! I've heard it all now...

I agree it's a discussion forum and i am am not suprised people have different opinions it just seemed to turn into a bit of a debate and i wasn't being funny with anyone by saying that as i was probably inc in that too i was just saying that i know people who have done it in all different ways and basically ment that at the end of the day no matter what people think it will all work out ok on the night and some people will chose to do what they want to do regardless of a poem or envelope anyway. Sorry if i seemed suprised or off with anyone. x

Tickers- maybe i worded it wrong maybe i should have wrote it was getting a bit personal by people doing what you have just done and pick peoples posts apart!?!?

Ok Butterfly.

I would pick your posts apart, but I'm having a hard enough time just trying to read them....

I must admit im not a fan of the idea. If i was going to give money, i would have already sealed it inside the card to bring, which then means in the middle of a room, opening my card, to take out the money and re seal, iykwim?

xx

I'm not a fan of the idea, it seems like you're expecting people to give you a gift. Obviously you would think that they would, but you shouldn't let them know that.

The OP is suggesting that she send these envelopes inside the invitations to her wedding - no chopping and changing needed at the venue.

Is that not a personal threat !?!? I thought this was supposed to be a friendly discussion forum.

Oh come on, I was joking!

How was it a threat anyway?

OP- I think the poem is ok, not too sure on the envelopes though, with the peom your giving your guests the choice, but with an envelope it's like saying 'you have to give us money' IMO.

Only you know your guests though and if you think they'll be ok with this then do it.

Sorry, my mistake. Didnt read it properly ?

I know i know i was just trying to make light heart of it. Sorry i'm a little ? sensitive. The threat was you would pick my post apart but couldn't read it lol

You've got to understand that this is a lighthearted forum - but when you accuse longstanding members of threatening behaviour on a thread that wasn't even started by you, you're bound to get a few jibes back.

For the record, I think including money envelopes in your guests' invitations is not the best way forward. For starters, I would think 'well that's a bit cheeky', and also I'd probably put the money and the envelope in a card anyway as I would want to wish my friends good luck and congratulations (not so easy to do on an envelope).

You must have led a very sheltered life if you consider that to be a threat!

That is not a threat - that is a comment on your posting style.

I agree . I am sorry guys i really didn't mean to start what i have or to have annoyed anyone.

Eeek I'm not a fan of the idea i'm afraid, I am struggling enough with the idea of letting them know I have a gift list! But everyone says how they're so handy, guests and OMs alike!

Still I could never bring myself to ask for cash, poem or no poem ?

If i recieved an invertation with a money envolope in it id go and buy something with what i would have put in the card.

I think it's really cheeky!

Sorry, just my oppinion tho!

kelly

I would just have a sealed postbox for cards tbh

Theres also this idea

http://www.1bigpresent.co.uk/

its asking for money without saying heres an envelope, and seems very light handed and things.

I def think you need a bigger post box or get best man to empty the one you have every so often. I wouldnt find the envelope presumptous because I wouldnt dream of attending a wedding without taking a gift or a card with some money in. The thing is, if i recieved the envelope with the invitation i would automatically put the money into it and then pop that inside the card i was taking ?

The whole issue of 'wedding gifts' is a minefield.

On one hand it's supposedly rude to ask - yet people will almost without fail ask you if you have a gift list.

It's supposedly rude to ask for cash, yet it's fine to point people to your website when you ask for cash.

Yet very few people will turn up at a wedding without a card, a gift, money or vouchers.

... and, as said above, everyone expects to be fed and entertained all day - and in fact many people assume they have an automatic invitation to your wedding when nobody, not even close family, actually do.

It's a horrible mess and whatever you choose to do someone will choose to take offence by it - so the easiest option all round really is to simply do what you feel is best for your guests, as you know them the best and not us.

We didn't put anything about gifts on our invitations because we're not looking for anything. No one has asked if we have a gift list.

We've had a couple of people who won't be able to make it ask what we'd like as a gift, to which we responded saying that we're not looking for anything, but if you really feel that you want to, Cash or IKEA vouchers would probably be best.

In regards to the OP, i think that it's just a bit too faffy to ask people to put money in a seperate envelope to the card. Whether it's considered rude or not, It just seems like a rather long way for a short cut. A bigger post box would probably be the better solution, and probably cheaper too in the long run!

That's good to know RKB. I'm the same, our invitations just say 'presence not presents' with no further information and I'd be glad if my parents don't end up dealing with lots of queries about a gift list that doesn't exist!!

I'm one that doesn't mind receiving a gift list at all. I also don't mind giving cash or vouchers if that is what the couple would like. But to receive a money envelope in with the invite, together with a money poem, would get my back up. I think quite a lot of people would feel like this, so I would just consider that before deciding to go ahead with it.

I agree with AJ that you can't please everyone, however, I do think money poems and money envelopes are likely to offend the majority.

There's no guarantee that if you provide an envelope for money that people would use it. I would probably mislay/forget about it and end up just putting the money in a card anyway

Thanks for the suggestions people - there's some interesting thoughts!

For the record, I didn't realise this topic would cause such a big debate. I merely wanted to know whether I'd dreamt about money envelopes or whether they actually existed ... ?

I definately wouldnt include a money envelope with your invite - I would be annoyed if I received something like that. Its just a bit crass in my opinion.

People generally will buy you a wedding card of their own choice & if they want to give you money they will put it in that.

I included 2 small gift lists in our invites , got everyone off the lists (both shops actually rang me asking me to out more on the lists as they sold out so quickly), plenty of money & also gifts of peoples own picking which are absolutely beautiful.

Sorry but I really don't like being aked for money for a gift, and this sounds to me to be very presuming and rude.

I really, really hate the idea.

and on top of that I really dislike the idea of having a small inpersonal envelope I have to keep and use. If I decieded to give money, I'd put it in a card. Or at the very least have some personalised envelopes printed.

Sorry, but I'm really anti this.

I don't see what the problem with asking for money is, Maybe because I have a lot of Greek friends and they always recieve money. I have also asked for money in a money poem and I do not know why there is so much bad feeling about it.

Most people that attend a wedding will get a gift be it money or actual gift item I just do not see why asking for money causes such stigma, I have lived with my partner for ten years and have everything I need in my home therefore would find more presents and gift voucher completly useless.

I always give money for friends wedding and know in my circle of family and friends no one would take offence in me asking and if they do well I think thats there problem not mine. Like everything in your wedding its personal preference and as long as you feel comfortable thats the main thing.