Money envelopes

again just a turn of phrase, and my opinion, maybe I should have rephrased it differently.

Some people's opinions ARE wrong sometimes. Not necessarily here, mind , just generally in life

I don't think I've said "you are wrong for doing xyz", I've said "I didn't do xyz as I think it's wrong". I'm just idly noticing the pretexts that people use to justify their positions. The one about receiving ten toasters is common. It's also completely unfounded if the experiences of the married among us are anything to go by. Therefore, I don't think it could be considered as reasonable justification - was just pointing that out.

My perception that a choice is uncomfortable only grows as people drag out more and more reasons to justify their position. Like a lady who doth protest too much.

I wouldnt say that but I would find being directly asked what we wanted a bit uncomfortable so translate how you wish.

just for the record my dad received 8 identical hors d'oeuvres sp? dishes at his wedding.(they must have been on sale at john lewis lol)

Oh, it is. I had a few direct questions about what we would like as a gift. It's immensely uncomfortable. However, I viewed that as MY discomfort and MY burden to bear, not something I'd try to avoid by requesting specific things upfront (thus shifting the burden of "uncomfortability* onto someone else).

*Pretty sure that's not a word

When did your Dad get married?

You see now its that kind of statement which is why I don't like this idea of giving money. If I gave money I'd give the amount I wanted to give, based on the simple combination of how close to me or how much I like the person / couple, weighed up against how much I can afford.

Its not for anyone to dictate to me or for me to dictate to guests, what the 'going rate' is.

Just going on personal experience I have always found it easier for me as a guest to know upfront what said people would like and also having been married myself foud it easier indicating in our invites our preferred choice.

Uncomfortability - hmm not sure can just about manage to say it!

How can an opinion be wrong? Only fact can be right or wrong.

Because then people know it's going towards your honeymoon (or whatever it is) and not in your Friday night drinking fund/plastic surgery fund (this one has been mentioned on H!)/[insert whatever you like] fund.

Thats fair enough. I appreciate that some people feel that asking for money or giving a gift list is unappropriate, but we are all entitled to do whatever we wish for our own weddings, thats why they are 'our days'.

Myself, I asked for money in one of those disgusting little poems and didn't feel in the slightest bit uncomfortable about it as people had already started asking and when I told them, they said that was easy and were pleased. Our budget wouldn't stretch to a honeymoon and so asked that if they would like to give us a gift, a donation to that would be appreciated. Its offended no-one and we ended up being able to send thank you out telling people that we'd been able to book 2 weeks in the sun.

And you're right, some opinions in the world are wrong.....mostly the ones that disagree with me

ohhh errr about 10 years ago ish

Hence why, in the invitation, you state that if the guest would like to give a gift, money for the honeymoon would be appreciated...

If someone's opinion is not based on fact or evidence, it is, by definition, an unfounded opinion. If they continue to expound that opinion in the face of incontrovertible evidence against it, I would have no hesitation in telling them that their opinion is wrong

But I'm not thinking of a gift list debate when I make this statement - there's no absolute wrong or right about this

He he, we're on the same wavelength with that then*

*Although substitute your "me" for my "me", obviously

I'm not saying that anyone else's opinion is wrong on the subject of gift giving ?

My opinion is that they are presumptious and I dont like the thought of giving them out.

Everyone else can do what they like makes no odds to me.

This is my point exactly.