Money/holiday as wedding gift...

It is such a taboo topic, and something that we at first thought about doing but it just didnt feel right, so we havnt asked for anything in the end, I can really understand the reasoning behind asking for money, we have been to a few weddings recently and gave money as it was asked for but a part of me does think it is a tad rude I'm in the middle on this one - shouldnt you fund your honeymoon yourself really, and then if people give you money its a bonus and you can put it towards your spending money.

We are asking people for the same if they want to do a gift at all. frome experience i hate it when people dont have a gift list/option and say dont buy anything when you want to get something. We ahve set up a website for the wedding free on www.gettingmarried.co.uk and on there is an option to set up a paypal account for people to donate to. HTH

I agreee with claire _lou

we are the same we dont need anything home wise so were going to ask for a contribution towards a honeymoon and we thought that was cheeky. so we are going away for a week when we get married which we are funding ourselves and then by word of mouth as most guest are family/close friends explain we would like holiday vouchers as a gift towards a "full" honeymoon.

Out of all the weddings we've been to in the last few years, all (except for 1) have asked for money or a donation towards a honeymoon - and we're doing the same! i can't help with the company as we're doing ours through Virgin as its a package holiday, but in the info with the wedding invite i just explained that we are not having a gift list as we had been together for 8 years and have all the things that make up a traditional gift list, but if people still wanted to, we had set up a gift card with virgin - then if people want to contribute they can, and if they don't want to then that is totally fine too. its a tricky one but its becoming more and more common! i have no problems if people ask for money or contribution towards a honeymoon - they'll keep the memories of that a lot longer than some plates and bowls!!

Oh, and i'm also doing a honeymoon board for the reception with pictures of where we're going, a few pics of us on other holidays, a map of where we're going etc, with a note saying 'thank you for helping make our dream come true'....

Ooh, I like that idea Maryg111....I might have to 'borrow' it ?

JJSmum, we were in the same predicament but I do think it is now okay to ask for contributions towards a honeymoon. I have been to several weddings where people have done this and to be honest, I am more than happy to help them.

We opted to use Buy Our Honeymoon and set up a specific list so people can buy us specific elements of our honeymoon (e.g. jet skis, candlelit dinner, windsurfing lessons etc) or they can just contribute towards general spending money. A lot of our friends have commented on how much they like the list too so I'm vry happy with our decision. We included the information of the list in our wedding invite so people can choose what to do. It also enables people to reserve the item (so they arrange payment with us) or they can pay via paypal, which so far, everyone has opted to do.

Not an easy decision I know but we just went with what we'd be happy to do.

Good luck!

Hi

we used www.buy-our-honeymoon.com - after much deliberation, about whether to or not - and we got extremely positive comments from everyone who thought it was a great idea, and alot hadn't seen it before

we had

trips, spa treatments, champagne, snorkelling, diving, meals - and contributions of any amount towards anything too - so we had £0 - £125

it was lovely and we got to do all the extra things we wanted but would have cost and people actually picked things so it became personal - it was great!

x

I wouldnt have an issue donating to someones honeymoon as a wedding present - we usually just give our friends money anyway.

As it is, were doing a couple of small gift lists in Next & a local giftware / china shop. I rang the local shop to make an appoinment & the lady said people have already been in lookin for our list!! Bit presumptuous to assume we were puttin one in there but right! lol But just shows our guests prefer knowing what to get us.

We're doing a buy-our-honeymoon website too - for most of the things we'll have on there we'll have had to book and pay for them before we send out our invites anyway so any money we get given as gifts can be spending money. The format makes it less cheeky than just outright asking for money though - you make a shopping list and people buy experiences etc for you, I really love the idea.

I would actually rather give someone money - my parents don't have any of the gifts anymore from their wedding, except the canteen of cutlery that gets used at Christmas! At least if we get money to help us have an amazing honeymoon, we'll always have the memories, and we can make personalised thank you cards with a photo of us doing the thing that was bought by that person.

We're putting small items on there - hot dog and beer at a hockey game, coffee and dounts, hot dog from a vendor in New York etc etc and some bigger stuff for people to club together for - day of snowshoeing, snowmobiling etc. We'll probably also have a few actual 'things' on there - I'd like a new camera and maybe a little camcorder for the trip.

We've recently been invited to a couple of weddings and not got any information about gifts, and we didn't really know what to do - without any idea if it's intended purpose, I find money too impersonal, and champagne is a bit boring but that's what we've ended up giving.

I don't get how couples think its ok to have a gift list but they think giving money is cheeky???? The couple will know the price of the gifts on the list so whats the diffrence?

Why have gifts that you dont want?

Its now common practice within my group of friends to give money, ours was towards our honeymoon fund.

Just ask for the cash!!!! Enjoy your honeymoon!!!

I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding and didn't give money as the gift.I really like the buy-our-honeymoon website but I can't help thinking £55 is a bit steep!

To be honest I don't think asking for money is any different to giving a gift list. I've never had an invitation that has not offered one or the other and I'd find it hard to get somebody something in case it wasn't what they want. We couldn't set up a gift list as we move abroad 2 weeks after the wedding and have suggested people contribute to our honeymoon if they want to give something. We know all of them will as we are having a small wedding with family and close friends only. There are a few websites that we looked at for contributing towards our honeymoon but eventually decided against it- I just google searched!

Thank you all for your replies. I feel a lot better now!

I hadn't thought of it like that - you're asking (or not asking) for gifts so what's wrong with steering people towards something you really want ie a honeymoon that you might not be able to afford otherwise!

I checked with a travel agent yesterday about vouchers but they said you'd have to pay for the holiday 10 weeks before and then vouchers received at the wedding couldn't be used against that anyway. So moula it will be!

We have just finalised proofs of our invites, and after much deliberation we decided that we would put a line in about gifts. EVERY wedding invite I have had ever has always had either a gift list or a request for money in it, so although I was on the fence about actually putting something like that in our invites, I figured that i wouldnt be the only one!

We havent asked for people to pay for our honeymoon, we're funding that ourselves, but we have put a little note in saying 'it is your presence, not your presents that we would like on our special day. However, if you would like to give us a gift, money to make our honeymoon unforgettable would be greatly appreciated, with thanks, the bride and groom'

I thought this was a better option than a little poem. We're not asking outright for people to give us money, just stating our preference if they do want to give us something. Plus, that way, we dont have people calling asking what they should get us...which could be awkward.

I agree that's the way forward!

I've done mine today - my invites are hand-drawn and pretty informal so here's my text...sound ok?!!

Having gone down the living together, house & baby route before marriage we have everything we need already (bar a 4 bedroom detached house in the

country with a few ponies thrown in).

However if you would like to give us a gift we would be very appreciative of money to put towards a honeymoon after the wedding.

Haha love it!

We've asked for vouchers, this is what I've put on my invites:

Gift List

We don’t really have a gift list.

We’re already living in a fully furnished flat so there’s not an awful lot we actually need.

If you’re wondering what to get us, Jim is absolutely obsessed with shopping and would love it if he was able to choose his own gifts(he will give me a bit of a say!) so vouchers (Tesco, Asda, Argos, John Lewis, anything really) would probably suit us best

I come from a Chinese family and find the whole giving/asking for money thing being seen as rude is a little strange to me, even though I was born and grew up in this country...

In Chinese culture, you give money as a gift for almost every special occasion, it's completely accepted and whilst we do give other gifts, the general go to is money in a lucky packet. From my side of the family, the wedding presents will be money, whether I ask or not.

H2b feels a little awkward asking for money as a gift, but knows it makes sense for us. We'll have our own home by then and we've got almost everything we need. To me it just makes sense, why buy someone something they may or may not really want, when you can give them the money to buy exactly what they want.

We're most likely going to ask for money from those that wish to give us something, though I've been thinking about mixing it up with a few items on a gift list too. Mainly for things that I'd like, but we don't 100% really need...