** Mooshy's wedding report **

Oh no, I've ran out of report already, more please!

The wedding day

Surprisingly I had a good night sleep, Me and Emma slept upstairs in my bed like the old days of our student house share and Mum downstairs on the sofa bed. Our apartment is open plan and the upstairs is a mezzanine level so we could hear Mum and she could hear us, so when my phone started vibrating with good luck messages at 6am from my colleagues before they started their shifts my Mum decided to shout up to us and wake us up “Is that Phil telling you he's still coming?!” so I woke up in a bit of a grump. Me and Emma lay in bed nattering away excitedly while Mum brewed up to redeem herself. Then I got a message from Phil telling me my mum had also just woken him up at 7am by texting him and confirming he was indeed still coming, so after us all taking the piss out of my Mum who was far too excited we felt a lot better.

I'd washed and straightened my hair the night before so that it wasn't a fuzzy mess so after having a shower I literally sat in my pjs for a couple of hours drinking tea and feeling far more relaxed than I should while everyone else seemed really stressed. I remember sitting there eating a piece of toast telling them to relax as we had 8 hours until the wedding. It was very surreal. I even decided to mop the floor again much to Mum and Emma's amusement.

Our MUA was scheduled to arrive at 11:30am and I'd spoken to her the day before to confirm so wasn't worried when she was running late but Emma was starting to twitch by 11:50 when she hadn't arrived, luckily my phone rang and it was the MUA to say she'd been stuck in traffic and hadn't been able to reach her phone but she was in the car park and heading up to us. She instantly relaxed everyone when she walked in and started chatting away. Throughout the day she could tell when I was getting nervous or annoyed and kept whispering things to me to perk me up. She warned me that once the photographer arrived the day would fly by and it was so true.

The photographer and his assistant arrived just as she started putting my base make up on and from that point on it was just a mad rush. At one point I pretended I needed to go upstairs to the bathroom just so I could lock myself away from everyone for a few minutes, Id been overwhelmed a little by the amount of activity going on and being photographed and then started getting phone calls from relatives and questions that people didn't need to ask me (why can't people read their invitations?). When I came back downstairs the florist had arrived and was telling Emma how to store the bouquets (stood up in tea cups!). It was another “Eek!” moment. I was excited and nervous about seeing them but I loved them they were far prettier than I had imagined they would be. Emma also commandeered my mobile phone so that she could take over and I wouldn't get any more annoying questions.

I ended up being the first one to have hair and makeup done so I sat around with my glass of prosecco watching the photographers snap away and Mum and Emma being preened and it was very relaxing, I think I just had my head in the sand and refused to realise that I was getting married! Emma says I had my first bridezilla moment when the tog said something about standing next to my dress and I said “what, posing?!” and scared him off, but I think she's exaggerating.

At about 2pm the photographer asked me when the car was coming and I very casually said 2:30, why what time is it? Then it was a bit chaotic because nobody was dressed and Mum was just finishing having her makeup done and Emma had no makeup on. Tog1 left to go to the venue and his assistant stayed behind to capture the mayhem. Mum helped me into my dress then went to get dressed herself while I watched Emma have her makeup done like we had no reason to panic.

Tog2 took me outside on the balcony to pose despite my protests that a) I don't pose and b) it was drizzling, luckily MUA tidied me up again when I came back inside. Phil says he likes the photo because it has Old Trafford in the background so it was worth it, pft!

Then we were all ready and it was time to go!

The car was early and sat waiting downstairs, luckily the building manager had let him into the car park so I didn't need another trip out in the drizzling rain. Tog2 set off to the venue a couple of minutes ahead of us so when tog1 text her to say the traffic was awful and to let us know we didn't get the message. Oh well! The car journey to the venue should take about 15 minutes max, it took us 40. Luckily I had allowed that much time because I'm naturally paranoid. We only arrived 2 minutes late. It was a weird journey, I sat in silence staring out of the window wondering why I didn't feel nervous.

I keep running out.... More please .... Quickly lol :-) xxxxx

Lovely!! More please! ?

It had stopped raining by the time we arrived but little brother was waiting for us with an umbrella just in case. It was so nice that he was the first person I saw when I got there, he naturally relaxes me. We had a few quick photos done outside the venue then headed in to meet the registrars.

Then the coordinator Simon came in and said “Don't panic but...” at which point I naturally panicked. He explained that due to the traffic my older brother wasn't there yet and was running very late, but that the registrars didn't have another appointment after us so they had agreed to wait. Phew.

I instantly loved our registrars, not only for agreeing to wait, but they stayed around chatting to us and told me I was beautiful and teased Phil. I know we did a lot of serious legal stuff in between but mostly I remember how much they relaxed us.

While we were waiting in the back room I was literally dying for a wee! I deliberately forced myself to go to the toilet at home before I got dressed but the minute the dress was on my bladder started to fail. Of course to get to the toilet at the venue I would have had to walk through the ceremony room... doh! The coordinator offered to go next door to the library to see if I could use the toilet there at which point I didn't want to seem like a demanding bridezilla so I reassured him I was fine... then I distracted myself by planning all the ways I could punish my older brother and his wife for making me wait!!!

We played a game of find the fork in the room to keep us entertained. In the middle of my pacing the room I spotted a fork balance on one of the wooden panels. I pointed it out to Emma and next time the coordinator came in the room she said “We've got a game for you, find the fork in 10 seconds!” After being a little confused he scanned the room and found it in 7, then told us how embarrassed he was that it was there and we fell about laughing.

Little brother kept coming in with updates to where older brother was, then the entire venue staff were outside at one point waving my brother through the traffic and helping him park. They were only 45 minutes late...

Then it was time. I'd been so busy being distracted, annoyed, impatient and needing a wee that I hadn't had time to get nervous! I heard the entrance song start (acoustic version of Everlong by the Foo Fighters) and Simon announce that everyone should stand for the entrance of the bride and then Emma disappeared into the room, me and Mum stood by the door and one of Phil's friends near the back turned around and smiled at me and I turned around and said “Oh ***, everyone's staring” or something equally unladylike and Simon said “no no, it's fine” and ushered us in.

God you lot are so impatient, I was planning on making a brew...

No time for a brew!! I've got to go to bed in 5 mins

I'm loving this, it's so nice to see a manc bride! We live sooo close to you, ha! No time for tea moosh, get typing!! x

The ceremony was a blur, it was over so fast. We held hands throughout it and we didn't take our eyes off each other until the end. At one point in the vows I got my I wills and I shalls mixed up but apart from that it went quite smoothly. I almost cried but not quite. Phil struggled to get my wedding ring on because I had fat sausage finger syndrome from being hot and bothered so I had to help him (force it on).

Then we were married!

We went straight from signing the register to going outside for the photographs by which point I had forgotten I needed a wee so I think it was more of a nervous bladder. We were the first people outside so we had a sneaky cuddle before people started pouring out. We started off trying to greet everyone but it quickly became impossible.

I'm so glad I spent hours filling little envelopes with confetti because I love these photos, although I was pulling confetti out of places it really shouldn't be when I went to bed that night!

The photographers had our list of shots and worked through them really quickly and then me and Phil were off to have our couples shots. By this point I was so happy and relaxed I was up for posey tree hugging and everything which is funny because I'm usually the person who pulls the stupid face in a photograph. We headed off down the canal in the mushy wet post rain mud, I stopped lifting my dress up after about 30 seconds because I was having fun and didn't care.

I could tell Phil was getting tired of being 'directed' so we ended up being disobedient and just having a cuddle and a snog, oops! Some of my favourite photos are of us just dicking around though.

When we got back to the venue they were turning the room around for the meal and the togs were taking photos. I had a little walk around the tables and had a huge feeling of relief that it looked so nice, I'd been having last minute panics about what if my homemade table decorations and table plan etc looked ridiculous!

I asked Phil if he'd seen the cake yet and he hadn't, I was so excited and nervous about how it would have turned out. It was going to be amazing or disappointing. We found my older brother who'd given us the idea for the cake and went to have a look at it. It was amazing! I squealed when I saw it and the tog caught our reactions. (I might delete this one later!)

I wanted to text the cake maker straight away and tell her how much I loved her but resisted. It stayed front and centre for the whole evening and I think it got more camera time than anything else during the wedding.

We did a cake cutting photo and then the tog gave us a polaroid picture which we put on our guest board and then the togs left, so the rest of the pics are from guests.

By this point I really did need a wee. Phil helped me with my big poofy dress and found it very amusing finding his way under the several layers of skirt and also helped me take the garter off which Mum had insisted I wear and hid it in his jacket pocket because it was really itchy.

The coordinator announced us in as Mr and Mrs and we took our seats. We didn't have a top table as we wanted it to be more relaxed and informal. In between courses I went and sat on the other family table to make sure I got a chance to speak to them properly.

I must admit by the time the meal was over I was more than a little tipsy. I'd had a glass of prosecco before I left the house, champagne with the welcome drinks, a glass of red and a glass of white at dinner (and I don't normally drink!) so when I was given the champagne for the toast Emma sneakily interrupted it with a glass of water.

Mum had decided in the week running up to the wedding that she would give a speech. I know how much she hates public speaking so I was so proud of her and it was beautiful. Even if she did let everyone know what my childhood nickname was. Again, I almost cried but not quite.

Phil's speech was... well he had decided that rather than write a speech he would wing it, and when Phil gets nervous he waffles. It was very amusing and I hijacked it a little to help him along a few times and then at the end when he stood there very relieved because he thought he'd finished I whispered “I think you've forgotten someone” and he said “have I, what?” and I replied “Me” and the whole room burst out laughing.

Then it was the best man Sam's turn. He had literally spend the whole meal turning more and more green and shaking like a leaf but his speech was fabulous. It had just the right amount of inappropriateness but lots of fun. He started out with "I'm really nervous so I've had to write it down but I'm also severely dyslexic so that's not much help" which made everyone laugh. My husband is a guitarist and a massive Slash fan, Sam presented him with a signed letter declining his invitation to our wedding but wishing us the best and then dressed him up in a Slash wig and a blow up guitar – which then became props for the rest of the evening.

The evening arrived so quickly, we had a band and Phil had arranged to gt up and play a few songs with them later on so he was still incredibly nervous. They learned our first dance song (My hero by the Foo Fighters), but we hadn't practiced dancing to it and as neither of us really dances it was a very awkward shuffley sway dance. We had to pick a long song!

After that I didn't leave the dance floor all evening except to get drinks and go to the loo. I remember Emma coming up to me and changing my shoes and me saying how lovely her cold hands were on my hot feet so she held my feet in her hands for 5 minutes and has now told everyone that I made her do it!

Phil got up on the stage and played with the band and every guest got up on their feet to cheer him on, it was my first proper proud wife moment!

I cheered like a loon and apparently I told him I would have thrown my knickers at him but there were too many layers of dress in the way.

I spent the rest of the night dancing like a loon, by myself or whichever poor person happened to walk past me, which amused everyone since I don't usually dance. I blame the twirly dress (and the alcohol) for making me feel invincible. It was great!

I have no idea what dance me and little brother were doing here!

It really was over so fast. I completely missed the evening buffet and I missed the domestic that apparently occurred outside and was just in my own little world. When the first guests started leaving we hadn't done the cake cutting as we'd been having so much fun we decided not to bother as we'd rather have the entertainment so told them to cut it up and put it out for people to take.

The night ended at 1am but we were still there over an hour later after saying good night to everyone and collecting the important stuff that we wanted to take back with us – the card box and the guest board, so Noel from the band gave us a lift back to the hotel in his van.

Back at the hotel Phil used one of the attachments on his swiss army knife to unhook the buttons on my dress and we sat in bed with a cup of tea and a piece of wedding cake and read the messages on the guest board (there were lots of penis drawings too so we chose a winner) and our wedding cards.

What a lovely report, I loved reading it and your photos are gorgeous ;-) Congratulations!

In the morning it still hadn't hit me properly, we had a giggle when we woke up and said “apparently we're married!” and we went down to breakfast before going to collect all the rest of our stuff from the venue, then dropping off suits and last minute purchases and packing for honeymoon.

It was a very tiring day and a bit of an anticlimax but we were going on our honeymoon the next day and it more than made up for it.

The honeymoon

Our alarm went off ridiculously early on Sunday morning and me being a terrible morning person woke up and grumbled “Why the **** are we awake so early on a Sunday?!” to be reminded by Phil laughing his head off “because we got married and we're going on our honeymoon!”. I soon cheered up.

Singapore

Borneo

Hong Kong

The end.

Congratulations Mooshy!!

Sounds like an amazing day & love how you keep referring to the fun - that's exactly how I what to feel

if my garter hurts give it to the groom *kinkey*, if my bridesmaid cools my feet in the middle of he dance floor brilliant oh and we didn't cut the cake nevermind - love it

Thank you for sharing x

What a lovely report. All your pictures look amazing and you look stunning. Congratulations x

Fabulous Report, thanks! What a lovely way to start my morning!

I love it! I'm so glad you had such a wonderful day and congratulations!

Congratulations Mooshy - that was a lovely report! You looked lovely in your dress and it sounds like you had a perfect day. I hope that I'm as relaxed as you on our big day and your report has reminded me to remind my OH that he has a speech to write!

Congratulations mooshy!! I waited very patiently and read the whole report in one sitting and loved every word!! I laughed a lot and ahhed over your photos and had a little tear in my eye a few times (blaming those on TOM ?)

Anyway, lovely report xxx

You looked like you had a fab day. Congratulations.

What an excellent report - you look as though you all had an amazing day! Congratulations, and thank you for sharing it!!

Loved reading this, awesome report! Congratulations, you look beautiful and so happy

Huge congrats hun I love your wedding report and the pics are fab x

Llongyfarchiadau (congrats)!! Looks like a good day was had by one and all, traffic notwithstanding.

Nervous bladder thing made me laugh - I totally get that so am making a note to myself not to panic about it too much on the day!

I had to wait until now to finish off your report and it was so worth, I loved all of it. congratulations again both of you

Wow, amazing. you looked beautiful.

X

Huge congratulations Mooshy!!

You look beautiful and like you had such an amazing time You both look so happy and i'm glad you danced the night away and had so much fun!

Loved that report! very jealous of your honeymoon too

Love your cake too she did an amazing job!

Congrats again to you both x

Such an awesome wedding report!! Thank you!! I really enjoyed it, and you seemed to have such a fun and relaxed day.

Congratulations!

x

'maaaazing! Congrats

What a fab report! Mooshy you look beautiful in your dress! My OH would be very jealous of your view towards Old Trafford, your apartment is gorgeous!

So glad you had a wonderful day!

And your honeymoon looks fab! We are off to Hong Kong next year to see OHs family as some of them wont be able to make it to the wedding, I cant wait to go back there, its an amazing place!

Everything looks amazing! Gorgeous photos and you looked lovely. Glad you had a good day, congratulations! x

Amazing report... loved reading it all and you look beutiful and so happy!