mother in law to be

That would upset me too, you only get one hen night after all!

Yes I feel like I make an effort and for me a hen night is special, only doing this once lol x

Is that really a bad thing? I wouldnt expect my mum or mum in law to attend my hen do...

God I hope my fmil doesn't expect to come if I have a hen do, haha.

Seriously though if you do want her there and she can't try and make the effort that's pretty poor of her.

Hi my bridesmaid hasn't told me what we are doing and my mother-in-law has no idea either. It was a standard text of can you attend the hen night. Bridesmaid mentioned it depends on how many people are going as to what we will be doing. Basically she has said no without knowing what the details are xxx

Aww that's a bit dismissive of her! Although maybe she's heard the words hen night and assumed the worst! Could your BM let her know the details under strict instruction not to mention them to anyone so she might be a bit more willing to have a think about it?

Mooshy; my FMIL assumed she'd be invited, nothing's been organised yet but she asked about it and mentioned she's looking forward to it, very presumptuous I thought but then again she's been a bit demanding in other aspects of the wedding and planning too! I think I'd rather she, or my mum wasn't there; it's not that I'll want to get up to loads of wild shenanigans but would rather do something more posh with her and my mum; maybe afternoon tea or something!

Charlton516 yes I guess that's families and all the same I will have a great time xxx

My mil isn't coming either but my mum and aunties are, there lose!! Xxx

I suppose it depends on everyone's relationship with their mum in law. For me I would expect her to come to my hen party because we are really close.

Mooshy.. I'm with you on this one when the time comes for me. With regards to my own mum nan etc... it will probably be a nice events ng out... a show and/or a meal or something.

I had a similar situation. My BM's have organised a weekend away in the city for us, I don't know the details but my mum has told me it's not wild nights out or anything like. Mil2b had said yes the whole time, been involved in all of the messaging going on between all the girls - then last week told my partner that she didn't want to go as it wasn't her thing. I'm not surprised, I had a feeling she wouldn't go - she is the indoorsy type. And I wouldn't want anyone there who wasn't going to enjoy it... At the end of the day I want to enjoy it and not feel like I have to keep someone entertained or make sure they are fitting it.

But what REALLY got me riled up is the fact that she has told my partner every detail of what the girls have planned... And I think she held off on saying no just so she could get all the details. She has only backed out now because she is being asked to cough up. grrr..

My FMIL isnt coming on mine, but has invited me to spain the week before to have a mini one there. Am tempted but cant really afford it!

My mom isnt coming either...because she 'doesnt fancy it' ?

I politely reminded her that my best friends mom probably 'didnt fancy' getting dressed up and watching strippers, but she did it because it was her only daughter getting married!! ah well, her loss. Im sure she will enjoy telling everyone at the wedding about how she wished she had been on my hen do (my mom is a drama queen!!!)

Maybe she has got to work and can't get holiday at that time? Or maybe she's using it as a polite excuse because she doesn't really want to go on a hen party - if she doesn't know what it's going to involve she could be imagining willy straws, strippers and luminous shots, which might not be her idea of a fun time.

I didn't have either my mum or MiL at my hen do, because I knew that it wouldn't really be their thing, and they would worry about cramping our style! They're both absolutely great but not interested in hen parties.

If she's being otherwise supportive about the wedding and will be there on the day and behave, I think you have to just let this one go. Better that she doesn't come than that she is forced to and sits there being miserable all the time.

I have no idea yet what I'll be doing for my hen do but my FMIL sure as hell won't be coming! I plan on letting my hair down and even though we get along great there's no way I could fully relax with her there. I would agree with others and suggest you organise a more grown up 'outing' such as afternoon tea, pottery making, that sort of thing, and invite family such as mum, FMIL, any sisters etc. as well as little bridesmaids if you're having any. That way everyone is involved and you still have your wild night/weekend away.

Neither my MIL or my Mum went to my hen do.

To be honest my future MIL wasn't invited! I gave my mum the option of coming but I was relieved when she said no! It's not so much the possible nudity that would bother her - it's all the drinking! She's a 2 glasses of wine lady so it would not be her scene! I'm going to do a 'mums' hen with my MOH and sister (who's also bridesmaid) the week after - afternoon tea somewhere nice. Much more my mum and FMIL's scene!

Haha I have the opposite problem - I'd rather mine wasn't coming! She's lovely, we just have nothing in common and she gets a bit funny when she's had a few to drink.

Haven't invited MIL or Mum to the hen do - it's going to be me and 18 of my mates getting drunk and being ridiculous for a weekend (don't know any more, it's a surprise!) which they'd both hate, esp MIL as she doesn't really drink (I know you don't need to drink to have a good time but she frowns on it a bit)

Unfortunately my HTB's sister-in-law DID invite my MIL on her hen do, so I felt a bit bad, but instead I've arranged for the 3 of us (MIL, Mum and me) to go to a spa the week before the wedding.

Everyone's a winner!

Im purposely not inviting my mother and my FMIL because I know they wont enjoy it, instead Im having a hen do for me and all my friends and BMS and then a tea party for the MIL and my mum and any other family that want to attend. Makes it easier and stops the hassle!!