Mother of bride wants to wear cream

Hi Lauren! This is your wedding and whatever you are comfortable with. 1. she should have mentioned to you first and 2. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with this dress. Everyone has an idea of what a wedding dress should look like and I don’t think other than it being white/ivory that this looks anything like one. I personally want my mum in white on my wedding day (she’s isn’t comfortable so I’m not making her) so this dress doesn’t offend me.

It's personal choice but I'm in the camp of no white/cream/ivory etc for anyone but the bride. If that was my mother then I would politely ask her to find something else. If it makes you uncomfortable then it's not unreasonable for you to tell her that.

It actually looks quite mother of the bride to me, paired with maybe a pale pink or salmon cardigan or blazer, heels & fascinator, and it’d look very much a MOB outfit.


However if you don’t want anyone wearing ivory/cream, you just need to say that (politely ofc) so she has time to return it and buy something else. My sister in law saw a dress and it was beautiful, but a bit too like a simple bridal dress to me (it looked like an evening dress), and I was like maybe not for a wedding, so she picked something else, no hard feelings kind of thing.

I ordered this dress for my Mum to wear to my wedding in October. I have no problems with her wearing ivory and it looks very elegant and classy. Can always add coloured shoes and a fascinator so it's not full on ivory.

I would have said its not really very bridal, but went to a wedding today where the bride wore this exact dress. She looked beautiful and elegant. I agree its down to the styling, coloured accessories would make all the difference. Ultimately its up to you, and how much it bothers you, if it does you might want to speak to your mum.

I would say it looks quite MOB-appropriate, but it's not my wedding, so it doesn't really matter what I think.

In most cases, I would suggest that if it really bothers you, you tactfully ask your mother to change it. But bearing in mind you describe the relationship as 'strained', I guess you need to ask yourself whether asking her to change create even more strain, and if so, is it worth the fallout. And depending on how strained the relationship is - is she likely to dig her heels in even more over this outfit if she thinks it will annoy you, and if she does, what will you do about it? If you think she's likely to kick up a fuss and insist on wearing it regardless (possibly even hoping to create drama by her choice?), then it's probably better if you ignore it.

Absolutely not okay for me in my opinion x

I would say I am in the ballpark of no cream/white except the bride. However I do know this is sometimes quite a popular choice for MOB to wear and does look lovely. My observation though is that you have already said it made you feel uncomfortable so, go with your gut. At the end of the day this is your day and your day only. There will be times during the planning process where decisions you make may not be agreed with, but I think it's very important to do what you want to do as it is the most special day of you and your significant other. What I would do is discuss this with your SO to see their take on it and then politely ask her to wear a different colour, maybe suggest to go together to choose. Dresses etc can be returned easily to get a refund. I had to do the same with a person that wasn't part of the immediate bridal party but bought the same colour dress as the bridesmaids. It happens.

I hope everything goes well for you.

Personally, I wouldn't have any issue with my mum wearing this, as it doesn't look remotely bridal to me.

Has she said what accessories she'd put with it? Black shoes/bag/fascinator or a crop jacket would help it look less "ivory dress"

I completely understand your concern. Your feelings are valid, and it's essential to feel comfortable and happy with your wedding dress. If the dress your mum bought doesn't align with your vision or makes you uncomfortable, it's reasonable to discuss this with her. Open communication can help you both find a solution that respects your preferences and maintains a positive relationship.