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L
Beginner July 2024 Co Antrim

Mother of bride wants to wear cream

Lauren, 18 of August of 2023 at 15:23 Posted on Wedding Attire 0 10
My mum showed me a dress today that she鈥檚 bought for my wedding without asking before buying馃檲 the dress looks like it鈥檒l be more ivory and I feel uncomfortable. We have a strained relationship and I don鈥檛 know if I鈥檓 over reacting or being reasonable. I鈥檓 going to attach a picture of the dress below, please let me know how you would feel if it was you.Mother of bride wants to wear cream 1

10 replies

Latest activity by William, 2 of September of 2023 at 05:56
  • S
    Rockstar July 2024 Cumbria
    Shay
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    Hi Lauren! This is your wedding and whatever you are comfortable with. 1. she should have mentioned to you first and 2. I personally don鈥檛 think there is anything wrong with this dress. Everyone has an idea of what a wedding dress should look like and I don鈥檛 think other than it being white/ivory that this looks anything like one. I personally want my mum in white on my wedding day (she鈥檚 isn鈥檛 comfortable so I鈥檓 not making her) so this dress doesn鈥檛 offend me.
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  • H
    Expert November 2022 Lincolnshire
    Hayley
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    It's personal choice but I'm in the camp of no white/cream/ivory etc for anyone but the bride. If that was my mother then I would politely ask her to find something else. If it makes you uncomfortable then it's not unreasonable for you to tell her that.
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  • L
    Rockstar July 2023 Greater Manchester
    Lisa
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    It actually looks quite mother of the bride to me, paired with maybe a pale pink or salmon cardigan or blazer, heels & fascinator, and it鈥檇 look very much a MOB outfit.


    However if you don鈥檛 want anyone wearing ivory/cream, you just need to say that (politely ofc) so she has time to return it and buy something else. My sister in law saw a dress and it was beautiful, but a bit too like a simple bridal dress to me (it looked like an evening dress), and I was like maybe not for a wedding, so she picked something else, no hard feelings kind of thing.
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  • Laura
    Beginner October 2023 Worcestershire
    Laura
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    I ordered this dress for my Mum to wear to my wedding in October. I have no problems with her wearing ivory and it looks very elegant and classy. Can always add coloured shoes and a fascinator so it's not full on ivory.
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  • J
    Curious July 2024 Norfolk
    Jessica
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    I would have said its not really very bridal, but went to a wedding today where the bride wore this exact dress. She looked beautiful and elegant. I agree its down to the styling, coloured accessories would make all the difference. Ultimately its up to you, and how much it bothers you, if it does you might want to speak to your mum.
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135
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    I would say it looks quite MOB-appropriate, but it's not my wedding, so it doesn't really matter what I think.

    In most cases, I would suggest that if it really bothers you, you tactfully ask your mother to change it. But bearing in mind you describe the relationship as 'strained', I guess you need to ask yourself whether asking her to change create even more strain, and if so, is it worth the fallout. And depending on how strained the relationship is - is she likely to dig her heels in even more over this outfit if she thinks it will annoy you, and if she does, what will you do about it? If you think she's likely to kick up a fuss and insist on wearing it regardless (possibly even hoping to create drama by her choice?), then it's probably better if you ignore it.

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  • Sarah
    Rockstar August 2024 Warwickshire
    Sarah
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    Absolutely not okay for me in my opinion x
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  • F
    Beginner August 2023 Hertfordshire
    Francesca
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    I would say I am in the ballpark of no cream/white except the bride. However I do know this is sometimes quite a popular choice for MOB to wear and does look lovely. My observation though is that you have already said it made you feel uncomfortable so, go with your gut. At the end of the day this is your day and your day only. There will be times during the planning process where decisions you make may not be agreed with, but I think it's very important to do what you want to do as it is the most special day of you and your significant other. What I would do is discuss this with your SO to see their take on it and then politely ask her to wear a different colour, maybe suggest to go together to choose. Dresses etc can be returned easily to get a refund. I had to do the same with a person that wasn't part of the immediate bridal party but bought the same colour dress as the bridesmaids. It happens.

    I hope everything goes well for you. Smiley heart

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  • Emma
    Curious April 2024 South Yorkshire
    Emma
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    Personally, I wouldn't have any issue with my mum wearing this, as it doesn't look remotely bridal to me.

    Has she said what accessories she'd put with it? Black shoes/bag/fascinator or a crop jacket would help it look less "ivory dress"

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  • William
    Beginner July 2025 Dumfries Galloway & Ayrshire
    William
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    I completely understand your concern. Your feelings are valid, and it's essential to feel comfortable and happy with your wedding dress. If the dress your mum bought doesn't align with your vision or makes you uncomfortable, it's reasonable to discuss this with her. Open communication can help you both find a solution that respects your preferences and maintains a positive relationship.

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