Mother of the bride gifts..

Hi,

Not sure what we're going to get. The problem we're having is my mum has really helped us but OH's mum hasn't at all. Tricky!

Didn't want to do the 'usual' on the day. We took them for a slap-up lunch prior, gave them a gift from honeymoon and might try and buy them a little photobook. My mum wasn't going to get a gift at all until she got right in the swing of it and helped loads. Don't agree with doing it purely for tradition.

We're the exact same! Long story but she didn't speak to him for years, tried to split us up etc..isn't supportive at all. So she's lucky to even be getting flowers which I grudge, lol. Definitely getting my Mum more things as she's been there for us when OH's hasn't and has given us so much so I want to repay it in a small way, if OH's mum doesn't like it she can whistle lol

I want to get my mum somehing nice too but just can't think what.

Flowers are a yes but want something else she can keep. OH was suggesting buying both mums some perfume they like but I'd rather something a bit more meaningful.

It is also a little bit awkward as OHs mum hast done anything for the wedding yet (although we still have a while to go) and my mum has helped a bit. I don't know whether it's easier for the brides mum to help though?? But it'll be a bit funny to say thanks for helping when she hasn't if she still hasn't by that point. OHs mum just doesn't seem to be bothered by the wedding and never mentions it.

Anyway.... Will be interested to hear other people's gift ideas!!

Yeah I tend not to stick to tradition but love getting gifts anyway so it's a part i'm looking forward to
Pugsley I know what you mean, we had thought of getting perfume too but I want a more personal touch. Trying to think of her favourite things and get something really good but with a personal touch and can't get my brain in gear haha. Oh's mum is the same, in fact she hasn't even asked the exact date or anything, and I know she won't contribute at all with anything. Will get flowers for her but that'll be it

We have got the Mums bouquets on the day. I wanted to get something extra for my extra special Mama so I have booked her and my Dad into a hotel in Cromer a few weeks after the wedding. They love Cromer and fingers crossed, if the weather is good it will be like a little holiday. They have lent us a huge sum of money and havent been on holiday this year which I feel terrible about so I thought it was at least something.

Now Mathew's Mummy am I right in thinking you are Scottish? I may have that wrong but I think these are nice anyway : /product/round-trinket-box-with-charles-rennie-mackintosh-design/ They are only £12.96 and you can have them engraved! I quite liked it as a gift but maybe you were thinking of something more expensive?

xxx

Aww that's a lovely idea, i'm sure she'll absolutely love that..very thoughtful

I am Scottish yes, thank you...they're brilliant! Love them ! I was looking for something a bit more expensive but i'll probably have to get that for her now anyway lol, really nice & I love personalised / engraved gifts..thanks a lot, great shout! ? xx

Yeah, I agree that things shouldn't be done just because they are tradition.

Maybe I'll just get flowers as a 'bringing families together' thing. Then get my mum something for helping and just because I want to treat her to something.

I'm doing my mum a little bag for the night before at the hotel. It will have slippers, champagne, a MOB survival kit (from eBay lol) and I have paid for a pamper in the hotel spa x

I have bought OH's mum a photo frame though saying thank you for raising the man of my dreams, but they had others one for a mum to say your little girl just grows up to be your best friend and one for your dad saying today as you give me away remember you were the first man I ever loved. I got it from notonthehighstreet.com

x

That sounds good. I really believe that those who put their heart and soul in deserve so much more, something sweet to keep so they know you appreciate them

I think we are going to order one of these from Not on the High Street but for 'Mum & Dad' for his parents.

You pick your own words.

https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/oakdenedesigns/product/personalised-fathers-day-word-cloud-print

Really not sure about my mum & dad yet though.

cute! My parents and I really aren't as close as that. If I gave those things to them they'd (quietly) freak lol!

We married on Zanzibar, which is part of Tanzania, so we brought back Tanzanite earrings for both mothers, which match a Tanzanite and diamond necklace I had as my something blue.

I don't think it matters if one mother has more input than the other, at the end of the day, one is your mother, the other is part of a family you are marrying into, and your husband's Mum. It shows grace and manners to honour both equally, and even ore so should the gifts be presented publically at the reception.

Yeah that's what we're thinking Lovely ideas everyone, and very cute. Thinking I might go with a spa day or something like that..she'd love a little treat day, and maybe a lunch just me & her or something Still buying some little personalised things as I love these wee footery things lol, and I know what she's like and will probably go overboard on the gifts for us

Lucky you, sounds lovely..and like the earrings as a gift

If OH got on with his Mum really well then she'd get the same, it's not just the input for the wedding. My Dad isn't contributing as much to the wedding as my mum but will still be getting a little keepsake gift. Like I say it's a long story with OH's mum, she's not been very nice to OH or myself and like I say didn't speak to him for years, she also doesn't send birthday cards etc..little things like that. However she'll be invited as I want his family to be there and not just mine, but she definitely won't be receiving the same as mine. It won't be a big thing on the day giving her flowers and then lavishing mine with gifts, no-one else would notice the little things we'll be doing for mine and only we'll know. I wouldn't do that regardless of how she's behaved in the past, or to anyone actually ?

I could NEVER differentiate between them publicly (except here, lol), but I do believe that when a mum (one or both) has been super-positive, supportive and put in dozens of hours it's nice for them to feel appreciated. If one (or both) haven't shown much interest and aren't supportive and actually are a bit difficult (perhaps) then it's understandable that a thank-you gift wouldn't be as important.

I just see it as the most fair way. But I imagine many people would see it the exact opposite

Yeah exactly this. I'd feel it's a bit of a slap in the face to my Mum who has given us both so much in every way to receive the same gift as the person who has done nothing for us (not an exaggeration..literally nothing good anyway) and doesn't even bother with anything or even know the date of the wedding ?

I didn't want to get flowers as i just feel its a lot of money for something that will last a few days. Financially my parents have paid for most of the wedding with OH's contributing to the band and LBM and BM outfits for their sides so i feel that they have all helped (including the dads!). We decided that time with us is what they both want the most so have booked for all 6 of us to go to see a show next summer. I hope they love it! I have also done mum, MIL and Dad a goodie bag for the morning.

I know what you mean with the flowers, my mums a huge flower lover plus getting a good deal with the florist so quite lucky that way lol.
Aww that's really nice i'm sure they'll love it. Different too and gives them something to look forward to as well Seen those wee goodie bags love the look of some of them x