Hi ladies, it's my very first time posting here. We're getting married in 2018 in the UK. I'm Scandinavian and have lived in the UK for a decade. Whenever I speak to my mum about the wedding (she still lives in Scandinavia) she doesn't seem very excited and says the wedding is still a long time away. She also mentions her grandchildren (my lovely nephews) whenever we talk about the wedding. She's an amazing granny and looks after the little boys a lot and of course they're invited to the wedding, but she seems to think she's coming to the wedding as a granny to look after the boys rather than being the mother of the bride.
My friend said this might be happening because she can't really take part in the wedding preparations due to the distance and lack of knowledge about British weddings. Of course we talk about details like my wedding dress, and she wanted to look at some dresses back in Scandinavia with me. but most of the time it's all about my sister and her children. I don't think she fully realises the traditional expectations of a mother of the bride. I don't expect her to do any jobs but I want her to be there for me, not just my sister and her children. I want to have those mother and daughter moments together before I walk down the aisle, but I think she sees herself as just a regular wedding guest. She's not a soppy, emotional type of person and I'm not expecting her to change that, but I'd like some kind of acknowledgement that my fiance and I are taking this big step together.
Another issue is my sister, I think she's so used to having our mum help her with the boys that she expects this during the wedding as well, she's coming with her husband, both boys will be under 4 years old when we get married. I think she'd take a massive huff if I asked her to look after her own children during our wedding day...
How do I approach this without upsetting anyone? I seriously think that if I don't say anything I won't have my mum by my side as she'll be too busy changing nappies and babysitting.