Mother of the groom

I think you could! It does depend on your relationship with her though. If you are on good terms, I think you could just mention what your OH has said and mention your dress will be ivory. If you don't, ask your OH to say it to her. If she is reasonable, she will understand.

If I was at a wedding and the MOTB/MOTG wore any of the typical bride colours, I'd be surprised! It's an automatic assumption that you don't wear these colours... My own mum wouldn't even wear the same as the BMs and my MIL wouldn't either.

How close are you to her?

Tradition would dictate that the MOG waits for the MOB to pick her outfit, then selects something to complement in terms of colour and formality/style. Could you pretend that you know nothing about her outfit, then follow up with her, invoking this tradition with wide-eyed innocence?

I would add, though, that an ivory dress in certain styles e.g. shift, worn with a coloured jacket/accessories etc, should not be problematic for a bride (in my opinion).

Well when i asked my mum for her opinion she was pretty surprised at her choice too. I just think its a bit of common sense.

The main thing I am worried about is bringing the subject up. not sure whar to go for?? "I hear we are wearing the same colour to my wedding" joke / serious. Or just say it in all seriousness and ask her to change the outfit.

I would ask my OH to speak with her but TBH he would probably leave it until the week before the wedding ha.

So glad im not being unreasonable.

I think if this were me I'd be a little bit put out on first hearing the news but on reflection I reckon it might be a case of "pick your battles". If you are close enough to her to tell her you'd like her to change her outfit then that's fine. BUT if you have to get your OH to do it I'd be tampted just to leave her to it. On the day all eyes are going to be on you and your OH.

Oh and also - my mum and MIL spent ages trying to find their outfits, so if I'd turned around and told them that they couldn't wear whatever colour they'd chosen it'd have been a bit of a nightmare!

My Mum has picked her outfit. Do you want me to find a picture for you, so you can work with the colours? Ha, can you imagine if you wore the same outfit. The bridesmaids are in pink/blue/whatever, so do you think purple/yellow/whatever would be nice?

I think it's bad enough for a guest to wear the tradiaitonal colours - but they will fade in the background in group shots but for his mum or your mum to wear ivory I think it's a bit much - i would defo say 'my mum has gone with (insert colour) just thought I'd let you know so that you compliment each other'

My MIL has been great, she said can you let me know when your mum has got her outfit as I will then ring her and discuss what colour she has gone for and then compliment

Hope you get it sorted - ps you will look the most amazing on the day anyway so don't let it bog you down! x

Go with this.

My MIL picked a dress, then asked me for my opinion on it. Since she asked (and we generally have a good relationship) I told her I wasn't happy as it was white (mine was ivory, so would have made mine look dirty in the photos). Plus (although I didn't say it to her) it did look like what someone might wear as a bride to a low-key wedding! She chose purple in the end and looked lovely. I would say I have no idea why she picked white but apparently an adviser at John Lewis picked it for her. I would have thought they should know better than to suggest a white dress for the mother of the groom.

Brilliant suggestions ladies, thank you very much you have really helped me.

I think i will go with telling her what my mum is wearing and go from there. I really dont want to come over badly but come on ivory as a MOTG outfit?! I'm not exactly close to her but i can't not say anything. Hopefully it all goes well, you lot will be the first to know if it doesn't ha.

I once saw an advisor in Debenhams persuading a lady to buy a white maxi dress to wear as a guest to a wedding which I thought was strange. I didn't mind a couple of my guests wearing white but if they had been long white dresses I might have been a bit miffed.

I don't see anything wrong with guests wearing ivory or white as long as they don't actually look like wedding dresses, but I do think wedding party should steer well clear!! My mum's wearing a silvery blue and I know MIL2B is worrying about what to wear but she shows me things she's looked at and they're suitable ? - FIL2B keeps telling her to wear the same outfit she wore to her other son's wedding to "recycle" it ?

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I know how you feel! This is my MIL's dress. Its not white but I still feel she has picked an inappropriate dress. Head to toe sequins! At a casual summer wedding. My mum is upset by it as well as she feels she will be out shined. I haven't been able to say anything, but with my MIL it wouldn't make a difference anyway!

I think I'd probably be overjoyed if my FMIL (or FML as I refer to her) wore something totally over the top. She turned up at my SIL's wedding, as the MOB, in her leggings and cardigan. She wasn't even the most inappropriately dressed, my future step-Mil had on her crocs and stripey ankle socks. I'm dreading my wedding photos with those two.

I think I'd probably be overjoyed if my FMIL (or FML as I refer to her) wore something totally over the top. She turned up at my SIL's wedding, as the MOB, in her leggings and cardigan. She wasn't even the most inappropriately dressed, my future step-Mil had on her crocs and stripey ankle socks. I'm dreading my wedding photos with those two.