MOTHER OF THE GROOM HAS BROUGHT A CREAM DRESS BY THE SAME DESIGNER

I can confirm that you are not being unreasonable. Your mum needs to take the dress back. If it has already been altered, could she have it dyed blue?

How about a wrap or jacket to go with the dress but in a different colour so that she won't look too bride-like?

Honestly if I was the bride, I'd be speaking to your mum and telling her how I felt! I wouldnt be happy at all! Same designer then fine, but Ivory as well?! Who as a guest wears an ivory dress. If it had a pattern or something to make it less bridal maybe it would be less of an issue.

Can you flash or link to a picture of your mums dress?

Hi Groom UK.

What a pickle! To be honest, I would be upset like your fiancée is, but I would suggest it is best to not say anything. If you sister and Dad have both said the same I would go with that.

Good luck!

Not unreasonable at all. Very odd decision on your mothers part. I would explain to her and maybe she could have it dyed. My mum suggested a nice cream suit for herself and I told her absolutely not! My sister thought she'd lost the plot too.

Hope it all works out.

Maybe a bright coloured jacket would be a good compromise? I don't think it matters that they're by the same designer because no one is going to know that on the day. Your fiancee is obviously going to stand out on the day as the bride and be the one with the long dress, hair done, all the accessories etc, so if your fiancee can accept it then maybe best to leave it but if it's really upsetting her then I'd say something.

Can i suggest you show your fiancee this? If i saw that my OH was tying himself up over the situation there's no way i would hold it against him!!

I think your fiancee has the right to feel upset in this situation but if it's not malicous then hopefully she'll come around. As the others have said maybe something could be done to make your mum's look less bridal...

I don't think you're being unreasonable but whilst your mother shouldn't have opted for cream her dress does sound like it's cut in a typical mother of the bride/groom style so it shouldn't really look like a wedding dress. If it's being altered already there's no way she'll be able to take it back so I would say keep the peace and don't say anything. It really isn't worth fighting about.

This is clearly an issue as it has upset both you and your fiancée, and I don't think you're being unreasonable or irrational - most people will avoid cream or ivory at a wedding unless specifically told it's ok, so she shouldn't be surprised that you've picked up on this.

I agree with the comments above - if the dress can't go back, could she get a different colour jacket to make her look a little less bridal?

Hi, it is my one nightmare for my own wedding that someone will turn up in ivory/cream. I've tried to make it clear to family/friends who have all agreed how rude it is! having said that my future MIL did say that when she went shopping for her outfit there were alot of cream outfits in. The thing is for me, this will be my one wedding day, the one day when I want things to be as right as they can be. I don't want the conversation of the day to be about a guest thats turned up in cream/white (which is what I've seen happen at others). I suspect your bride to be is saying to let her wear what she wants to keep the peace as I might do the same but deep down I'd be absolutely gutted. I think asking her to wear it with a coloured jacket or something maybe an acceptable compromise? I'd be asking her to do this at the very least. So sorry your in such a situation, really feel for you on this one.

Hi all, thanks for the responses! Here is the outfit!

Forget the fact it is the same designer - unless you are all in the fashion industry, nobody will know this.

It is not up to your Dad or you sister to decide if they think any complaint is ridiculous, it is entirely yours and your fiancee's call.

I personally wouldn't have really noticed if someone wore white to my wedding - I can't see how it would have impinged even slightly on my happiness. However, her position as mother of the groom does not equate to a "friend from uni who was always a bit attention-seeking". Her position is possibly the most politically-charged in the bride-groom-parents dynamic, and people will read a lot into this move (even if it's not a deliberate move, if you see what I mean).

This is fairly manipulative but could you make your requests out of concern for your mother. People WILL talk, people WILL notice, and unfortunately, people WILL judge. She will be the woman trying to compete with the bride for the man in question, she will be viewed as trying to steal the limelight.

If I were being so obliviously rude (which is not necessarily my opinion, I think it's more weird than rude), then I'd want someone to tell me.

It's a lovely mother of the bride outfit. Beautiful. But....

...that dress comes in several other colours. What was she thinking?

Not sure if this makes you feel better, but I went to a wedding recently where a friend of the family decided to bring an escort as his plus one. Everyone was talking about him saying how

Inappropriate it was and she also wasn't dressed very appropriately. The dress she changed into for the evening was very revealing and even the one she wore in the church was very short. At least this won't happen at yours!

Debretts agrees - wedding party do not wear white/ivory (if bride is doing so).

*nods in agreement*

It might be best to spare your mother this backlash and misunderstanding

I really feel for you - you are the potential jam in a very sticky sandwich - but I'm sorry - your mum is in the wrong here. Not intentional maybe, but the situation remains. It's a bad choice. Other may not know it's the same designer, but you and your wife to be doo and that's what matters, as does your mum. You do need to handle carefully though as this could get blown out of all proportion.

Don't know when your nuptials are planned for - but if your mum has time to do something else then she should, be that getting her outfit dyed or replaced.

Edited to add - your mum might be blissfully unaware of the predicament she's caused and while loving her outfit - will hate this sitation all the more and would want to do something qwhile she still can. Just an additional thought for you.

Good luck.

Yea tell her for her own good!

You also run the risk of them looking like a lesbian couple in pictures together too.

(Like this pic of Jamie-Lyn Spears and her mother)

This for me too. Although you say your mum loves your fiancée than this says something different. Everyone knows not to wear ivory to a wedding. And whilst your finacee might be saying 'wear what she wants' as she was upset initially I would imagine this is like saying 'I'm fine' when actually she isn't.

Can you flash your fiancée's dress so we can compare? Is it long or knee length too? If she was in a full-on wedding dress with train etc it might not look too bad. But there is a sense here that the MOTB will have a flashier outfit in ivory than the bride and she has a right to be upset at that.

THIS!!!!! Totally not a good idea of your mothers i'm sorry to say, fair enough if it can't go back if it's getting altered - she'll just have to wear it on another occasion...perhaps to renew her own wedding vows? Jokes aside, sorry that you're in this situation - hope it sorts itself out!

A little off topic but thinking about it, if you're a big name in the wedding industry, you must know wedding etiquette ... why do they sell MOB and MOG dresses in ivory?

I thought the exact same thing Elixia.

The dress in question comes in a selection of colours (rose gold, dusky lilac, blah blah). I had assumed as a designer, you may as well hedge your bets and offer your stuff in ivory too, to pick up the, ahem, older, more elegant, second wedding, register office market (stereotype alert).

I guess not all brides get married in white/ivory either so if you were getting married in say a red dress, you might not be so bothered about the MOB or MOG turning up in Ivory.

Not much help to the OP though...sorry! For what it's worth I agree with spinning it to say you are worried about what other people will think so then it doesn't cause any upset between your mum and your fiancee. Your fiancee is probably not wanting to put you in the position of having to take sides but if it was me I wouldn't be too happy. Good luck!!!

I agree - why sell these dresses in ivory?! Prospective brides would rarely look in a MOB collection.

In answer to your dilemma- I feel a bit sorry for your mum, it sounds like an innocent mistake which will cost her a lot of money. Although your fiancee is unsure about tackling the issue now, as the day approaches her nerves/excitement/bridezilla-ness will increase and I think this issue could develop later on.. Best to sort it now.

I have seen this photo before of Jamie Lynn's wedding, and I couldn't put my finger on what was odd about it. Bar the obvious of course, lol !

That's what it is. Without a groom in the photo, these two do look like a couple getting married to each other.

Maybe you should point this out to your mother, Mr Groom? Same sex marriage just became legal (yeaaa!), so maybe point out to your mother that she might look like a second bride, and a cougar at that, getting herself a young hot bit of totty !

HOLD THE PHONE !!! What the actual ..... ?!?!?!

Surely this deserved its very own thread!

So the escort was paid for by the guest, and then paid for again by the bride and groom who had to supply her with a meal ?

I can't believe anyone would do this, unless it was actually a secret and no one knew (ie. pretended it was their girlfriend / old friend etc)

Yes he paid for her to attend with him. The bride and groom gave him a plus one and that's who he decided to bring. I guess he was pretending she was his girlfriend but everyone saw right through the situation, she was a lot younger than him, not dressed appropriately and was foreign. He also had a car that only a d*** head would drive. We don't know him, but we definitely got the impression that this is the type of thing he would do on a regular basis. Sorry, I feel like I've hijacked the thread now!

Thirded. I'd have a fit if his mother pulled this stunt!

I'm probably going to get shot down in flames for this but it's my opinion.... Maybe she's just a mum that got giddy her son is getting married and went out and bought a beautiful dress! I would imagin that when my daughter gets married all my senses will go out the window and I would want a lovely outfit for her big day! I think the dress is classy and beautiful and if she was my mum I would be proud having her next to me. My OH grandma asked the other day what colours to avoid and I told her wear what u want, if someone said to me my grandma could be at my wedding but she would be in a wedding dress I wouldn't care less because I would give anything to have her there! I personally think when it comes to outfits I don't care it's the people I want there to witness our marriage and share our day.

Like I said just my opinion and I'm ready and braced for the shooting.... Lol

xx

from the sounds of the OP's about the bride and MOG relationship this is more than likely true but the problem really is from the outside it sets the wrong tone. Like that they DONT get on (which isn't true according to the OP). Wedding make people crazy, people WILL talk. If had a dodgy haircut or hairdo i would prefer someone tell than everyone pay lip service only to hear the rumours come back later.

I agree with this. If, as another poster has said, she got caught up in the moment and didn't consider the issue of wearing ivory (even though the dress comes in loads of different colours), she's still likely to get a lot of attention on the day for wearing an ivory dress at her son's wedding (I don't think the designer matters).

I honestly think it's going to be her that would be made to feel uncomfortable on the day as people will notice it, question it etc and if she hasn't' realised this (which is the only conclusion I can come up with as to why she's picked an ivory dress), then she'll probably want it pointed out.