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Beginner October 2017

Mother-In-Law Nightmare!!

ExpensiveYellowConfetti904, 3 October, 2017 at 13:41 Posted on Planning 0 2
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Hi all,

A little advice for dealing with a little situation with the mother in law that isn't very nice!

My mother -in-law is a known trouble maker and we have had various issues over the years. She calmed down a lot recently and Ive ensured she has been actively involved with all of the wedding process and decisions etc. However as usual, her terrible side has raised its head and has caused huge arguments with my partner and I - three weeks before our wedding! It was some terrible lies and purposeful to cause a fight - accumulating to her storming out!

We assume that she and her husband will attend the wedding, however I can't see how this will work on such a happy day when she obviously despises me and would be happier to see my partner with someone else. Its hard on my partner because they're his parents and he wants them to see him get married. but in my heart of hearts I don't want them there with their nastiness, spite and trouble making. Even at my hen do - which I made sure she came to she made a speech ending in, " my husband and I have been happily married all of our adult lives together, I hope that my son and she will be, however I doubt it!!"

I just don't know what to do for the best, i am dreading walking down the aisle and seeing her glower at me or his father make a terrible speech about us and ruining the whole day with their nasty behaviour.

if anyone has any advice on dealing with this kind of thing it would be appreciated as I am at my wits end. x

2 replies

Latest activity by Helsenki, 30 April, 2023 at 16:40
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    Beginner May 2018
    HappyBrownConfetti849 ·
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    It's quite sad that you have to deal with this, why can't parents just be happy that their child is happy?

    With regards to glares and looks, nothing you can do unfortunately but smile sweetly and carry on, (and specifically ask the photographer to take pictures so you have evidence!)

    With regards to speeches and making a scene, can you can appoint a trusted friend to "manage" them? So distract or remove them if things start getting iffy?

    If she's successfully caused arguments between you two, them I'm guessing just talking to your other half about it isn't an option? Something along the lines of: I love you and I'm so glad we're getting married, but let's face it, your parents hate me. Can we trust them not to spoil things?

    Harsh card to play, but it might be that the groom has to stand up to his parents and say, "this is the life I chose, it's your choice to be in it or not. But if you upset my wife, we're done." This can either make them bite their tongues to avoid losing their son, or they will just be nasty anyway. If he can make them see he's serious about you, they may decide to respect his decision to marry you. As what you've described sounds like they disapprove of you and that he doesn't know what he's doing.

    Final alternative, just ask her why she hates you (and record it for evidence) and see if you can figure out what the hell is going on.

    Hope you figure it out x

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    ExpensiveBrownStationery895 ·
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    I'm afraid I can't offer much advice but wanted to let you know I'm in a similar position and am sending big internet hugs! How has your OH dealt with it? Does he stand up to her and can he sit down with calmly and explain the effect her behaviour is having?

    If that's not an option or won't help then I think the best thing is to try and rise above it for the day. I know that is really easy to say and for me it's nearly impossible to do! But don't give her the satisfaction of ruining your day. If you can, decide that if she comes you will be pleasant to her and if she doesn't you won't worry about it, so that you can prepare for both outcomes.

    Hope it gets better either way xx

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