Mum attending Hen Night!Help!

Hi! I think if you are having two and your mum is invited to one there should be no problem.

My mum isn't coming to my main one as its really not her thing but we are gonna have a girly pampering day together anywyay. My OH mum is coming though as it is more her thing but again she is coming to the main weekend one and not the night out clubbing which is my other bigger one.

I have so many family/friends who all like different things it would be impossible for me to have only one hen weekend, so I am having three and so far that hasn't upset anybody!! x

My mum isn't coming to my main hen weekend. I'll have a meal and some drinks with her, my fututre MIL2B and other family members, but there's no way I'd want her at the main one. My main one won't even be a big weekend as I don't drink and hate clubs etc, but I really want that girlie time and to be able to talk about things that we wouldn't be able to if mum were there. My mum is fine with it, don't think she would want to infringe on my girlie time! I think you need to explain to your mum how much your time with your friends means and that it is something which is important to you.

I wasn't keen on it but my mum and oh's mum wanted to come and it worked out really nicely actually. I was glad they were there.

I personally think your mum is being selfish to expect she should go to both! You shouldnt feel guilty for not having her at the 2nd hens do at all.

My mum & I are incredibly close too. I even invited her to my 'younger' hens party. She said herself that it was for myself & friends to unwind without the 'older' ladies & mums tagging along.

I think you're perfectly within your rights to not want your mum at both.

I'm having two hen dos - one that mums, aunties, cousins and close friends are coming to (a weekend in a country house), and a night out in Newcastle that is strictly friends only - no family members are invited, even cousins of similar age (and that's despite me being very close to my mam and all my cousins etc).

I think your mum is being rather selfish and a bit mum-zilla!

Hi, I'm doing exactly the same as you - one do for my big family and another for my friends. Some people (e.g. my sisters and close cousins) will be invited to both. My mum has said she wouldn't want to come on the one with my friends though and that's why we've done it this way.

It is horrible to feel torn between family and friends but you are making a very reasonable compromise and if your sister doesn't like it, she'll have to lump it!

What i never get is why mum's should come on hen do's? i am not particularly close to my mother and one of the reasons i don't want a hen do is that not interested in spending a night with her, so thinking of just skipping it completely? when did it become the norm for mothers to tag along?

I'm also having 2, but not separate for family and friends, we're having a weekend away and then a night out in town so that everyone who can't make the weekend can still be included. I am expecting there'll be maybe 10 of us or so at the weekend, more at the night out. My mum and aunts will be invited to both, as will OH's mum, whether they want to come is up to them but the invite will be there! I don't have a problem with it, I'm very close to my mum and we can have a laugh together, but I do realise that not everyone wants their mum and "oldies" at their hen do and that's fine too! If you don't want her at both, then don't invite her to both. Your day your way and all that ?

Hey,

I invited my mum and my older cousin (about my mums age) to my weekend away and I thought I would have to be a little bit restrained but my family had brought dare cards to tie to me and all through our clubbing night theyr ripped them off and made me do them. They were very raunchy and my family were the ones buying me drinks and they made it an amazing night!!

My mum came on my hen weekend with all my close friends and I wouldnt have had it any other way, we had a blast and my mum loved it. If your mum is invited to the other one I dont see the problem. Have you explained to her the reasons why you are having 2 hen nights? With regards to your sister if it was me firstly I would be annoyed with her that she would put me in that position, but then I'd tell her to get over herself. Familys!

So far I think I'm having 3 hen do's... Big weekend away for 30 odd of us, which is all my friends, a few cousins, aunties, my mam and a few of her friends. Not really her thing anymore, yes she likes a good glass of vino or 5, but really wants to come, so letting her get on. So as there is a good mix of people I'm not to worried cause I think the group will seperate off to the young ones and the oldies.

Could you not do that get a friend/sister of you Mum's to come along to and they can kind of do there own thing!?

I had my trial hen night saturday night (this is my first hangover free day since) and my mum came....we went for a meal and drank neat vodka....the neat vodka was my mother's idea of letting our hair down (she didnt have any cos she has got her cancer treatment this wk)....i have told her she has got to come on my real hen night next year cos i wanna see her down vodka shots!

I am close to my mum and i want her there....but it is your night/wknd so do whatever you want....she is a big girl she must realise you want some time away with your girlfriends.

Dont feel bad about any thing hun its there problem not yours!

fi

xx

Awww thanks everyone, I feel better now I've had some opinions on it. Think it's time for the talk with my ma lol!

As for my sis, I have had a chat with her today and we have sorted it out ?

She was worried that there maybe conflicts between people. Maybe when we go out where people want to go and certain members of the hens (being more pushy) influencing me on where to go/what to do.

I've told her not to worry and that I'll have the last say as it's my hen do!

I'm not normally a speak up kind of girl but if I'm not comfortable in going somewhere then I won't!

My mum isn't coming on mine which was her choice. I am getting married at a spa hotel so the day before mum, myself, bridesmaids and SIL are all going to go and use the spa.

My mum came to mine (and FMIL), we had a spa day and then a night out in Brighton- I was expecting her to stay for the meal, a few drinks and then go back to the hotel as it wouldn't be her thing........flash forward to the night and I remember at about 10:30 she informs me she is my 'wingman' for the evening and if that means clubbing until 3 so be it and not to worry about her and just act like I normally would on a night out, soo I did and we rolled in at 3:30am having had a brilliant night!!

Sometimes it is hard to picture your mum getting involved with things but it's up to them how much they participate in and I'm sure your mum would want you to still enjoy yourself (I don't know your mum so just guessing at the last point!)

I had 2 night outs, one in lancaster with my MOH and some friends and then another one locally a function thing with dinner, dj, disco type thing which my mum and MIL camre to and aunties cousions etc but i think its fair you should have a girly night with your friends and bm's