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Newbie Bride August 2021 Co Londonderry

Mum not at wedding?

Ali312, 16 February 2021 at 08:21 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 3
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Hi lovelies Smiley smile


Was just hoping to hear your thoughts in case anyone has gone through the same.
My wedding is in August, but my mum lives in Australia/New Zealand- given how strict they are, it's unlikely she would be able to come (unless something miraculous happens).
Really not sure what to do. I'm sure noone imagined their day without their mum being there, but another side of me thinks maybe we should just do it if restrictions allow and most of the other guests can come. I worry that's it's not clear what would happen next year if we postponed, the situation could be exactly the same here/over there and she's said that if we can do it without them and have a good wedding, to just go for it.
I know it's a personal decision at the end of the day, but would love your thoughts, it's really upsetting me 😓.

3 replies

Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, 20 February 2021 at 10:01
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    Rockstar Bride July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Sending huge hugs to you - that's such a horrible situation to be in.

    My mum is in the UK, but when Covid first kicked off, at first we thought the wedding might be able to go ahead while she was still needing to shield at home. The first thing she said to me was 'please get married even if I can't be there - I just want to know it's happened'. So you might find that your mum would rather you get married sooner than delay for her sake. Although my mum was eventually able to be present, we would have gone ahead without her if we'd had to.

    It's such a personal decision, but in your place, I think I'd go ahead. As you say, none of us know how long the restrictions will last and none of us are guaranteed tomorrow anyway.

    If you do go ahead, you can include your mum via Zoom, maybe carry something belonging to her with you on the day, pick her favourite music/flowers etc or 'include' her in some other way in the celebration. Maybe even get her to do a reading or something via zoom? And you could always have a vow renewal/blessing with your mum when she is finally able to travel.

    I hope you are able to come to a decision that you all feel at peace with, and have a joyful wedding whenever and however it happens xxx

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    Newbie Bride August 2021 Co Londonderry
    Ali312 ·
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    Thank you so much for your advice and glad you could all celebrate together in the end! Smiley smile


    She has said I should just go ahead and I am definitely considering it. It's really difficult, my heart is set on having her there, but my head is being rational and saying just do it and it will still be a nice day 😔
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    Curious Bride October 2022 East London
    Ebony ·
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    It's a very difficult decision and I think it depends on whether your mum will genuinely be okay not being there in person. For example is she saying go ahead but really wanting to be there? I think that's a question only you can answer since you know her better than anyone.
    My mother would tell me if she wasn't happy with our decision either way and I couldn't imagine getting married without her there.
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