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S
Beginner August 2023 Worcestershire

Must have and nots

Sophc22, 5 of April of 2022 at 20:36 Posted on Planning 0 6


Myself and my partner are Hopefully going to start planning our long awaited wedding for next year! We started planning early 2019 but then fell pregnant with our son so we decided to wait, then covid hit and that was that. When planning before I wanted the whole Shabang, I literally wanted everything potentially spending a very large amount of money! Since having our son our priorities have changed and couldn’t justify that amount now! My question being those that are either married or soon to be married what would you say your must haves would be (apart from the obvious), what things you wish you had and didn’t and what things have you not bothered with that seem popular.


We also have a meeting with the wedding planner at potential venue next week, so anything I should think about asking.


Thanks


6 replies

Latest activity by Stephanie, 12 of April of 2022 at 10:14
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    It's so individual. For example, I have a friend who wants a really expensive big white dress but is considering a bunch of flowers from a supermarket (or just not bothering). I'd have been quite happy getting married in an everyday dress (I only bought a 'proper' wedding dress because my fiance wanted to see me in one) but was determined on having a beautiful bouquet.

    We wanted a nice setting - a location that felt right for us - and a good photographer because the photos are what you have to look back on. We ditched most of the trimmings.

    Stick to what is important for you. Don't be afraid to cut corners on the things that are less important, or miss them out completely. It doesn't matter what other people think - they are not the ones getting married at your wedding.

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  • Yorkshirelass
    Super July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    It is so personal I agree. We are getting married this July and I already have 2 daughters from a previous relationship but have never been married before, my fiancé has been married on the cheap in his 20s. So already our experiences will shape what we want on this day.

    Food and drink was important to me and the ability to party with my friends particularly those who supported me through my horrible breakup. I haven't gone for a big white dress, mine is tea length and about £800. I have gone for reasonable flowers, some will be fake to reduce the cost. We haven't over dressed the venue as it is a quirky place to start with. We are having ceremony and reception in the same place which also reduces cost and time!

    We have gone for cars and a decent photographer (no video as I just don't think you would watch it again!). Cake will be quite simple from a local baker. We have no best man or groomsmen (that's an American thing anyway) and only my dad and my fiancé are wearing matching suits.

    You can go as big or as small as you want, that is the beauty of weddings in the modern era. In my parents day, there was much more tradition and restriction and they have been married 50 years!

    Make a list of what is important to both of you for discussion and good luck. I have personally loved the planning so far!

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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    As others have said, it's so personal what your priorities are and what you're willing to do without.

    For us, the biggest things I'm glad we're saving the money on are:

    Flowers - we've gone artificial as it's 1/4 of the price of real! We're saving just over £1.5k and to me it's totally worth it! Also, you and the bridesmaids can keep the artificial bouquets which I think is nice too.

    Cake - we're not having a big traditional cake (my mum's making us a stack of brownies instead!), they're so expensive, neither of us are massive cake fans, and so many people say loads of it goes to waste anyway.

    Save the dates - we bought a bunch of postcards from the town we're getting married in and I used my best handwriting to make them look as pretty as possible. Cost a fraction of the price of magnets or some of the snazzier things out there. I'm making my own design on Canva and paying for printing for the formal invites. The cost we're saving on stationary means we can afford unlimited ice cream as an add on to the cocktails and canapes package - and I'm sure on a (hopefully) hot summer's day our guests will appreciate that way more!

    Fancy cars - unless your super keen for a photo op or a massive car fan, I don't see the point as no one sees you in it as they're all sat at the chairs waiting for your grand entrance anyway! I'm quite happy to roll up in the passenger seat of my dad's muddy defender haha

    Guest list - we're going for 50 of our favourite people, no extended families, avoiding obligation friends etc as much as possible. A smaller guest list is the BIGGEST money saver!

    In terms of the big splurges that I feel are worth it:

    The venue - we have a beautiful beach venue that is gorgeous as is which takes a lot of the pressure off dressing it (where spending can spiral and wind up making a cheap venue cost almost as much as an expensive one, as a friend of mine is discovering to her panic!), plus so many of our guests have commented on how amazing it looks which hopefully means they'll be keen to make the effort to be there!

    The dress - I know loads of people advocate saving money here, but I spent £2k on my dream dress (literally the one I'd had saved on insta in before I was even engaged and simply dreaming of the big day) and I'm SUPER excited to wear it so to me that is money well spent.

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  • Bliss
    Savvy October 2022 West Sussex
    Bliss ·
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    For us the must have were a venue that does the ceremony and reception, food trucks, buffet style dessert bar and a good videographer.
    The things we have scrapped are groomsmen, only having a best man, no mini people in the bridal party, no button holes, no traditional 3 course roast dinner. It really depends on the vibe you want for your day! There’s no right or wrong for weddings
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  • Sophie
    Savvy November 2023 Derbyshire
    Sophie ·
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    I agree with what everyone else has said, it’s really personal to you. I’d recommend you both make a list of what is really important to you and then set your budget from there (do this before you meet with any venues). For example we really want to serve cocktails at our drink reception instead of wine and are planning to pay extra for it but neither of us care about the flowers so are planning to cut costs and do whatever is cheapest with the florist that gives us the best price. But you definitely want to have that conversation and set your budget before you talk to any venues and suppliers to make sure you’re both on the same page.


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  • Stephanie
    Savvy June 2022 South West London
    Stephanie ·
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    I agree with Sophie. My partner and I both wrote down our top 3 things for the wedding (mine were photos, flowers and food, his were setting, food and photos) and then we prioritised those things throughout. We only had a small budget so ended up having a very small guest list in order to put budget on the things that we prioritised. Because we did that in advance it made venues easier as we knew there was no point in going to see venues with 50+ minimum guest counts etc.

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