my dad wont wear a suit to my wedding!

I'd be upset if this was my dad, I have to admit. Even my OH, who is very much against people being forced to wear a certain type of clothing because it is the done thing, will always wear a suit to a wedding.Can you speak to him and explain how important it is to you? Is there a particular reason why he won't?

I have to agree, its only for a few hours is he walking you down the aisle ? if it were a really relaxed wedding and everyone was wearing just the shirt and tie i would understand but if all the bridal party are suited and booted its a bit off, my family weren't too keen at first but i told them its only once and i'm paying so please would they and once they tried them on they all loved how they looked the pictures will be fab and lovely to see those that would never wear a suit in full morning suit, hopefully he will come around is he usually difficult and have you spoken to him yourself? x

TBH it wouldn't bother me. As long as he was at my wedding, I wouldn't care if he was wearing a suit or not

I'd be a little upset too if it was my dad. Can you try and speak to him, not to pressure him into wearing a suit but just air your views. Hopefully if he knows it's upsetting you he will consider changing his mind.

I have just spoken to him. got a bit heated but i told him i was dissapointed & he didnt seem to care. i know my dad isnt flush with cash at the mo, i offered to buy him a suit but hes too proud and refused. i said id like him to be smart as all our other guests will be in suits but again, he was selfish & said he felt 'bullied' into wearing a suit. its just etiquette right? he is not walking me down the aisle and its not a mega fotmal morning suit kinda do, but i expect a certain level of dress. im so peed.

I'd be gutted. My parents will only attend the reception (we're eloping!), so no aisle walking this time round. However, I've still asked Dad if he is happy to wear a suit with a tie and buttonhole in our colours to the reception. He simply said "just let me know what to wear" bless him. I am not asking or expecting anyone to buy or hire a suit, but Dads, ushers and best man will wear matching ties and flowers with their own suits.

For your Dad, who will attend your ceremony and (forgive me if I'm wrong) be centre of attention while giving his speech, not to even wear a suit, seems a little disrespectful to me, and putting his foibles in front of your wishes just for a couple of hours.

WSS. Its not something that would bother me at all, but I can understand why you feel upset. I think he will still look smart in a shirt and tie though.

I know its not the end of the world but i know that all my other guests (its a fairly small wedding) had gone all out and are going to be really dressy. even our tog is wearing a suit! i just dont think it would have hurt for him to make an effort. not to start a sob story but my dad missed every school play, concert, parents evening, you name it, he wasnt there. i just thought for one day he could pull out all the stops for me... i guess not

It would bother me and he sounds like he is being childish about it.

Presumable he has known about the wedding for a while so to announce this at this stage...

Is everyone else wearing black suits?

if so a black pair of trousers, black shoes, white shirt (whatever tie) would be okay if he could just get hold of a jacket. thats all my OH did for his brothers wedding because he didnt have a suit. he just got a suit jacket from Tesco - i just looked them up and they cost £17.00

so it may not be a suit suit but will look like one... have you thought of this option?

Hi Tinkerbelly,

I do agree it is a bit disrespectful. It is only for a few hours, not even that really, just for a few photos.

I get this all the time in my shop and this is how I handle it. I ask the Bride (or Groom) to not bring the subject up with Dad again but instead ask Dad to attend the appointment (to have suits fitted) etc. with the other guys, under the guise of requiring dads advice and help with picking the suits for the boys. If Dad turns up for the appointment, I am very polite to him but do not bring up the subject of wearing a suit with him, instead I ask his advice on certain things "That seems to fit OK doesn't it?" "That looks good doesn't it?" that type of thing. After a few minutes I might ask him to try a jacket, just so the other guys can see what it looks and then just build the outfit up from there. 99% of the time this works, it is very rare that it doesn't. But the key is to never say "you have to wear this"

The only time this fails is when someone tries to push dad into wearing something which he doesn't want to and then things become heated and he WONT wear it. If you push they push back harder.

I would suggest being very calm with dad and tell him he is your dad and he can wear whatever he likes, as long as he is there you are happy. Also state that it is you wish for him to wear a suit, so everyone knows just how much of an important member of the wedding party he is. Then leave it at that. Leave the ball in his court.

Obviously I am generalizing from my experiences of FOB's. but your dad may be different to any the ones I have met.

Good Luck

Marc

That's not entirely fair. I completely understand why you are saying this because a life-changing event like a family member abandoning you or not being able to attend your wedding for any reason puts things into perspective. I really feel for you that you won't have your dad at your wedding.

However, you can't compare it to people who are having dilemmas which relate to things that are important to them but might seem small-scale. I think nearly everyone who has a good relationship with their dad would rather have them there dressed however, than not have them there at all but that isn't the point of this thread - Aarchk is correclty pointing out that it's about how sometimes people who are close to you can let you down by appearing to not consider your feelings in their choices.

My dad consistently says he won't wear a suit, but I know he thinks I'm a Bridezilla for even thinking I have to ask him to, so he's only saying it to wind me up. He's threatened to turn up naked once. I shouldn't rise to it, but he gets a laugh out of getting me in a tizz.

OP, could you go and speak to your dad to tell him how much it would mean to you for him to wear a suit. You could offer a compromise of asking him to wear it for the ceremony and some photos and he can take the jacket off after that?

I think it is unfair of him if he knows that you want him to wear a suit. Particularly if your wedding is a formal do.

My dad will be wearing entirely what he wants for my wedding and I know for a fact that he will probably wear something totally inappropriate. He has terrible dress sense and tends to wear things to stand out rather than fit in! It won't bother me, but that is because my wedding is a non formal affair and I haven't asked him to dress in a particular way.

TBH I'd give anything to have my late dad at my wedding. Having the people who I care about there is all that will matter, they can turn up in their pjs for all I'd care. I think you should be thankful he is there at all.

Please don't take my comment the wrong way, I just wanted to highlight that some people will be missing loved ones at their weddings, and in the grand scheme of things, if you are lucky enough to have them there, what they wear doesn't really matter.

We didn't hire suits for our Dads. We only hired them for H, his best man and usher. H's Dad wore his own suit and my step-dad wore a shirt, trousers and jacket, he doesn't do ties.

To be honest I didn't expect anything different, my step-dad doesn't even own a suit! However it didn't matter, he looked really smart on the day and it certainly didn't matter that the Dad's didn't have matching suits.

I understand where you are coming from and I'd just say to him fine, wear whatever you like but you won't be in the group photos as you'll look out of place!

I was just about to say the same. Jenny that is a ridiculous thing to say.

LOL I know?!! It was my gut reaction to the OP as why else would you care what someone wears to your wedding if not because of the pictures? If he feels happy and comfortable in shirt sleeves despite everyone else being in a suits then why is it a problem for anyone apart from the "look" of the day/photos? ?

I would feel put out by any guest if they didn't make an effort and dress up a bit, suit / tie for the gents and a lovely frock for the ladies.

Its discrespectful and just not caring.

and for someone in the real key core group, such your dad not to make the effort is a very poor show indeed. Even if he is not financially well off to buy another suit, I'm sure he could pring to borrowing or buying a blazer to wear with some trousers. My HTB brought one not long ago £25.00 at Next.

Everyone has there opinions and it certainly will be noticeable on a picture, but, for me personally, I would have had my dad there in a bin bag in a heartbeat!

So my answer is biased, be happy he is alive and well and will be there to walk you down the isle, jacksuit or no suit

Don't be offended, just my opinion xxxxxx

My dad always refused to wear a kilt - he never has done. When I got engaged I said to my mum, will dad really not wear a kilt? I really wish he would. Mum said she didnt know but leave it to her. Mum said to dad 'will you be wearing a kilt at this wedding?' Dad said 'ok'

Phew! I couldn't believe it, - but yeah i know how you feel cos this meant a lot to me too.

My sister managed to get him to matalan today and got him a suit & new shirt & tie... i owe her a biiiiig drink! she said he was in a foul mood and was very reluctant but she told him how much it meant to me and to stop being such a baby! im relieved..

with regards to other posts i do understand that i am lucky to have him there and in the grand scheme of things its not that bad... its just his attitude that really bugs me. hes never once done anything to please anyone else. it would have been nice for him to show willing