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My Dad’s not coming to my wedding as I don’t want to invite his brother

HappyIvoryCars4577, 16 November, 2019 at 14:43 Posted on Planning 0 1

Hello,

I’m looking for some advice as I’ve recently received the heartbreaking news that my Dad has decided he’s not coming to my wedding.
I told my Dad as soon as I got engaged (2018) that I would not be inviting his brother to my engagement party or the wedding.
For background context, my Dad’s brother has disgraceful values and is very homophobic and racist and I refuse to be associated with such a man. My Dad’s brother also has a son which came out gay and he disowned his son because of his sexuality. I am very close to my cousin who is gay and I want him to be in attendance at the wedding and feel comfortable, as well as I want to be comfortable and not have someone there that I hate.
I have 0 contact with my Dad’s brother and he wouldn’t even know what my fiance’s full name is or how old I am.
I have explained this to my Dad on a number of occasions that I simply do not want him there and want to feel comfortable. He is upset by his brother not being invited but said it’s my wedding.
Since then, I have received a text from my Dad to say that he does not believe in leaving someone out and out of respect for his brother, he’s decided that he’s not coming to my wedding.
I absolutely heartbroken that my Dad has decided to put his brother before me and can’t respect my feelings... even on my wedding day!
What does everybody else think? I’m absolutely heartbroken by my Dad’s actions and feel like he’s thrown away our relationship.

1 replies

Latest activity by Madeline1986, 24 November, 2019 at 13:15
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    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    It's your choice who you invite to your wedding. It's their choice whether or not to come.

    I would be heartbroken in your place too. But the fact is that your dad is more worried about pleasing his brother than pleasing his daughter. You should not be bullied or emotionally blackmailed into having anyone at your wedding.

    It may be that your dad is expecting you to cave in to his threat and invite his brother. But in your place, I would explain that you are not able to amend the guest list, and while you would be very sad if your father did not attend, you respect his decision.

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    Madeline1986 ·
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    I think your dad is not being reasonable. it is unfortunate but this is part of life.

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