My dilemma re kilts

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. Men look really smart in kilts - i'm Scottish and H is English and he wore a kilt last year to my uncles wedding along with most of the other men and they looked so smart. I don't think it should matter that you don't like thier tartan, if it's the family tartan then I think it's lovely that they can wear something that has meaning to it!

Sorry all im going to say is.......

THE KILT IS NOT A SKIRT!!!!!!!.

ok said it.

At the end of the day, it's your H's decision as to what he wears on your joint wedding day. That may sound harsh, but the groom hardly ever gets a say in the bride's dress after all! If he wants to go tradition and wear a kilt then I'd go along with it and try and incorporate the tartan or one colour from it into the rest of the colour scheme.

We went to a wedding in Scotland last weekend and despite the fact that no one was Scottish, 11 men incl the groom & best men hired the full kilt outfits and they looked incredible. It was the men in suits who looked out of place!

Sorry if this sounds harsh but surely if its your decision what dress you wear then it is your H2Bs decision what he wears? He doesn't have to buy his kilt, he can just hire it and then it won't be wasted in the wardrobe never to be worn again. My H2B has decided on the tartan he wants and I know that myfamily won't wear it however it is OUR day and if thats what he wants then thats what he gets. Personally I think you are being a bit selfish if thats what your H2B wants.

Hi Gill,

I think you should talk to your H2B on this one. Its not causing an arguement, but just to discuss options.

If your H2B's father has a tartan (that you dont really like) can you not discuss this with H2B if there is another tartan that the groom and BM could wear? As already mentioned, you can hire the kilts too if your H2B isn't really bothered about owning one.

Im scottish and my H2B is welsh. Although we both now live in Scotland (and H2B has done for sometime) understandably, he doesn't class himself as Scottish.

I love the kilts and we discussed this right at the beginning of planning as to what he would want to wear as I wanted it to be his decision. H2B likes the kilts and he said he wanted to go with kilts. We've had a look at tartans, but we were finding it difficult to pick one as none of them meant anything to him.

Then I found the welsh tartan and he loved it, so he wants to go with that. H2B is getting his made which I really encouraged, as you mentioned, my dress will get boxed up and prob never worn again, but H2B can wear his kilt to other weddings and even if he doesn't wear it again, its still cost less than my dress!

As far as fathers go, my dad will prob wear a kilt (which wont be the same tartan as H2B) best man isn't really fussy, so he as agreed to wear the same as H2B. H2B's dad still lives in Wales and will be wearing a suit, as will the men from his dads side of the family and most men from my side will prob wear a kilt (of any tartan) and Im not bothered. I've been to weddings when the bridal party were a mixture of tartans and suits and I thought it looked nice!

At the end of the day, if he really wants to wear a kilt and also wants to go with the same tartan as his dad, then I would go with it. He has to wear it all day so it should be something he wants/likes.

I think your being a bit selfish tbh. You choose your dress (I presume) without the input from your h2b so why can't he choose what he wants. Fair enough if he doesn't want to wear a kilt and it's his dad that is pressurising him but that is something for your h2b to discuss with his dad.

I know my h2b is wearing a kilt and I based my colour scheme around the tartan he choose but apart from that don't know what the whole outfit will look like and won't until I walk down the aisle.

Why can't a kilt hang unworn in the wardrobe again? Is your dress more important? You are both equals and what is good for one is good for another I think but kilts do not need to be bought and can be hired for as little as £65.

Why don't you just relax about the whole thing and decide that h2b can wear what he wants and also sort out the rest of the males in the wedding party and that way it is a surprise for you and no stress. I really don't think if he wears a kilt then your day will be any less special so in the grand scheme of things isn't really a huge issue.

First things first, I wouldn't be buying a kilt if he's never going to wear it again - my H bought his for our wedding but he's had loads of wear out of it since so got his money's worth...

So if he hires one chances are they won't have FIL's tartan (unless it's really common) but also there are usually different types of the same tartan ie. hunting, formal so you might be able to find a nicer version of H's family tartan ?

I love kilts ? I think you need to let H have his own way (and a kilt would look much smarter than a tartan waistcoat IMHO)

I agree with what has been said. Has he given you instructions on what your dress can and cannot be like? Im sure that if he wants to wear the family tartan there is no harm in that - even if your family sont want to wear it. It is both your day after all x

Sorry but yes I think you are being very unreasonable. YOU want all the men to look the same?! When did that become only the brides decision? Are you going to send other guests home to change if they don't match your theme or come up to your expectations for perfect photos?

And you don't like your husbands family tartan? TOUGH! That is actually quite disrespectful to your FIL and his family. He is scottish and he'll be proud of his tartan. As for your stepfathers comment - he doesn't have to wear a kilt. Simple.

If your h2b doesn't want to buy one a kilt he could discuss with his father about hiring one - my family hired the full kit for my wedding as a surprise for me and it was a stunning tartan, and they looked amazing.

Or if your H2B doesn't want to wear one then thats a discussion for him and his Dad - its not your decision I'm afraid.

Even in your compromise of a tartan waistcoat, you know and seem relieved that the jacket will cover it up for most of the day.... thats not an ideal compromise is it?

As you are probably aware now, from reading these posts, Scots dont take too well to the negative attitudes towards their national dress, lolol.

go back to your oh and discuss this, go for the kilts if they choose to, you wont regret it.

Which tartan is it?OH has 4 tartans for his family and we chose the one we liked the best. As for having waistcoast instead, i'd be very surprised if you don't run into serious problems finding them to hire and getting them made will be expensive, simply because tartan is expensive to have weaved. If your step dad has a problem with wearing a kilt then he can always wear trews in the same tartan instead. If your OH wants to wear a kilt though then let him!! everything matching isn't the be all and end all of everything and it will give your wedding a real talking point if not many of the other guests are scottish!

Just to second what has been said...

It is his special day as well and you got to choose your dress (and I presume any bridesmaids dresses etc.)

I personally love kilts and my H2B is goingt o be wearing one on our day! Hired one though!

My H is Northern Irish, all his family are Northern Irish with no Scottish heritage at all!

I'm Scottish, our wedding was held in my home town and he opted for the kilt!

Not he doesn't have a tartan so he picked on he liked from the range the shop hired out. He then decided to buy his (even though he'll hardly ever wear it - but when am I going to wear my dress again??) and hire the rest of them. Only 2 men in the wedding party were Scottish (my dad & my sisters H) the rest were Northern Irish and they all looked fabulous!!

My H really suits a kilt and just looked so sexy!! Some of the girls on here have seen my H in his kilt and will agree with my when I tell you he's so sexy!!! LOL

Anyway I think the bigger issue here is that YOU DON'T LIKE THE TARTAN not that you don't want him wearing a kilt - as for your step dad - I'd love him to say that comment to a Scottish person and see the reaction he gets - he doesn't have to wear one - he could wear a suit with the same colour of tie/cravat/ruche as the rest, my sisters FIL did this at her wedding as he didn't feel comfortable in a kilt (he's Scottish too). He got a nice black suit, hired the victoria wing collar shirt, same as the rest, and the same ruche.

I think you need to go back and talk to your H2B about it without any bitchy comments or starting an arguement.

Luv Victoria

xx