My H2B and I cannot agree on anything!! Rant, Sorry.

Your not being silly at all i would be exactly the same as you

It's great that he wants to be involved and planning etc but it sounds like you are both trying to take the reins on this one. You can't both prject manage the wedding as you are two completely different people. Try sitting down with him and talking. Your wedding is the first day of your marriage and you cant spend that wiith absolutly no compromise on his part. You would be standing there on the day feeling bitter and disapointed, or maybe not on the day but you may look back like that. I would say to take aback some of the control. He could have certain things that are his to manage like his suits maybe or the service, music etc...pick what you think he would be good with but claim back the rest of the control. You really need to talk to him about this.

I notice many brides try to involve the groom a lot in decision making and it frequently goes wrong! Have you considered involving him less? Or asking "Do you mind if I just choose whatever xxx I think goes best?"

Most grooms are not that bothered, they just want you to be happy.

I totally disagree with Paula. It's your OH's wedding too and he has a right to be involved and have an opinion just as much as you do.

you need to sit down and talk about how you feel. If his attitude makes you angry, tell him. He may not realise that you feel this way. To be honest it sounds like you're after a more relaxed wedding than he is. Show him pictures and explain what your ideal wedding looks like. Then allow him to do the same and work out how you can combine features from both.

we were in a similar situation. I wanted something relaxed and OH wanted a really traditional do, which I wasn't keen on. We had a bit of a mixture and it was fab. My OH desperately wanted tails which surprised me but I let him get on with it. If I get to chose what to wear so should he imo.

shutting him out is just going to annoy him.

I have to agree with Paula. My OH just comes to appointments. He isnt too fussed. Dont get me wrong he does have a say in the wedding but he is taking a back seat.

can you talk to him about your concerns.

Hello, I think most couples have different visions of what they want in their head and have to find a comfortable balance but it sounds to me like you are making all the compromises. You have a while until decisions on suits etc have to be made so why not put them off a little while? My cousin had the style of suit you oh is after and his around the same sort of height and it looked fab on him. When it comes to suits maybe you should go together and have a look before taking the groomsmen as he may try something else on and prefer it. I do believe the groom should have as much say as the bride so I don't agree with Paula and think all decisions should be a joint one. I find my oh is very particular about certain things- suit, cake and colour theme so I listened to what he wanted and compromised. I hate fruit cake but he loves it so the choice of flavour marzipan and type of fruit is his choice alone provided I get lemon sponge. He wanted blue so I said about putting silver with it so that's now our colours. He wanted a tweed suit and I hate traditional tweed so I googled tweed until I found something I liked too and showed him. Now his getting a victor valentine suit in blue tweed which is much nicer :-) if he doesn't budge and his attitude stays as I choose the suits then I'd choose the bridesmaid dresses without him. I think you need to chat though as it will make your planning experience more stressful!

I dont think its a problem him being involved but the problem is (without being rude) that you are allowing yourself to be a doormat

he wanted the venue (changing due to budget issues is not a compromise its a necessary), he wanted a non religions wedding, he wanted the theme, he wanted the colors, he wants the clothing style... what have YOU picked?

put your foot down on somethings... rings, music, food, cake, dress, invites, centerpieces - Stamp yourself on to somethings that are left

It's just about compromise. In regards to suits my other half isn't arsed about looking till next year (we have ages) But Im happy to let him pick what he wants apart from I said they needed to have some purple as the colour.

In regards to the religious aspect - I wanted a church wedding but he didn't. So we are having a civil ceremony and then a blessing after our meal, so we get both on the same day.

I think like others you need to sit down and talk and compromise. I dont think its fair to completely write him out and not take him to appointments etc. If you dont then I think he's more than likely well within his right to say he doesn't want to contribute financially? I wouldn't want to pay towards something I'd had no say in.

I think once you talk it'll all be fine. Weddings shouldn't be a thing that pull you apart x

I feel for you! You're not being a bridezilla at all. It's your day too and you're entitled to have the things you want. I can't believe how your FI is making decisions without respecting your wishes. I wouldn't be happy with that. I hope you can both compromise and enjoy the wedding the way you both wanted... Good luck!

I disagree with Paula. My and my OH had big issues when we first started planning - he hadn't been completely honest with me about what he wanted from the start and as the weeks went by he got more and more stressed by it until we had a huge row which nearly wasn't a happy ending! Long story short, we sat down and were completely honest with each other about how we wanted our day to go and then found a happy medium. It's not exactly what I would have planned, nor is it exactly what he would have planned - but more important than that it is what we have planned together to make our day perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Have you been completely honest with him about how you feel? That would be the best advice I can give you - it was certainly the best thing we did!