So my mum has always been a bit nuts, we certainly don't have a normal family dynamic. She is very moody, visits to see her are done because of obligation and we normally sit quite tensely and polite and be passive aggressive about her crazy moods and just brush it under the carpet and never call her out on her *** and my dad just knuckles under and enables her behaviour. When we got engaged, she immediately wanted full day invites for 8 to 12 of her work friends, I immediately said that's far too many, our guest list is 80 people tops and half his big family were not being invited and they can have evening invites. About 5 months ago we were talking on the phone and she stated that when she was over visiting her cousin, she would tell him that him and his new partner of 6 months were invited, the partner my mum and aunt basically thought is a freeloader. I said straight away that she had no right inviting people on my behalf and under no circumstances was she to extend any invitations without my permission.
So she hangs up the phone, we barely speak for months, I don't go for Christmas dinner. After Christmas, she is starting to mellow a bit until yesterday, 4 days before the wedding, starts questioning why I wanted to do a family dinner the night before the wedding, and then says she is extremely hurt and upset and doesn't feel welcome and she may not come to the wedding. She says the day is also about her, not just me and my partner and I told her I disagreed. My partner is totally furious that she is pulling this so close to the wedding and I doubt he will ever willingly be in the same room as them ever again.
A few hours later, my dad texts my trying to get me to apologise to her and then she texts me a while later. I tell her I'm sorry we obviously have different views on weddings, but this is our day and that's how it is, and then she keeps asking if I want her to come, as if she wants me to beg her. I reiterate she is welcome to come and that's the last I've heard.
Any thoughts or words of advice? My partner would quite happily cut her out of our lives completely.
