My mum wants to wear a white dress

"She really can’t understand why I wouldn’t want her to."

Hmmm. A grown woman plans on wearing a white ball gown to her daughter's wedding and 'can't understand' why her daughter might not like that idea. Sorry, but I suspect she understands all too well and is just wanting to steal the limelight.

Either let it go if it's not an issue for you, or if it is (and it sounds as if it is, and I TOTALLY understand that) just tell her firmly that white is NOT an option. Do you have an aunt or other relative who might have more success at getting the message across?

It's actually for her benefit as well as your own - she is not going to come out of this well if she goes ahead with her plans, as every other guest at your wedding will probably be disgusted!

Let her do it! She’s going to look silly and people will see her for what she really is!

Eeeesh this is really rough, especially if you don’t have a great relationship. I think the suggestion of seeing if someone else who might be close to her can also try and talk to her to get her to understand that she isn’t going to come across brilliantly by wearing a long white dress.

Failing that, can a friend “accidentally” pour a full glass of red wine on her on the day?!

Hope you get somewhere with it x

Thanks guys. You’ve made me feel much better. In truth she has been gaslighting me and making me feel like I’m crazy for NOT wanting her to wear white. I really started to think I was the one with the problem. She has actually got her sister to speak to me and ask me to be more reasonable as it’s ‘her day too’. Just to be clear we are paying for our wedding so it’s really our day. After many tears I’ve come to the conclusion she will do her own thing. Whether I like it or not. I think for me there is just a sadness that I can’t rely on her to be a normal mum just this once. Never mind marrying my fiancé is the most important thing.

"It's her day too" Err, no it isn't. And that comment tells you all you need to know. Even on your wedding day, she thinks the spotlight has to be on her.

Ignore her. If she wants to act like a spoilt toddler, let her get on with it. It's hard having to accept that you can't have the traditional mother & daughter relationship, but if you keep holding on to that hope, it's only going to wreck your wedding day. Focus on those friends and family who are truly supportive, and above all, focus on your new life with your fiance. Best wishes x

Whatever the reason or whatever your mother is thinking. I think, You should do the what is right.

I think you can sit with her and explain your issue and i hope she will understand and will change her mind.