Need ideas for ways of remembering loved ones on wedding day

Hi Francesca!

I am sorry for your loss, it is lovely that you still want you Mum to be a big part of the day.

We have a few lost loved ones between us - My grandma and Grandad, my OHs Grandad who was his absolute hero, and our Godson who was born extremely early and got his wings at 20 days old.

We are having a table for them, next to the top table - a round table, with a centre piece the same as all of the others and a photo of our loved ones and a candle for each of them. We want them to be there, and this way, it is as close as we will get.

How lovely that you are being so thoughtful about including your mum.

If you wanted a nice picture could you put one inside a locket and either wear as a necklace or attach it to the skirt of your dress or your bouquet? I'm having a brooch that belonged to my nan pinned to my bouquet on the ribbon. You could also perhaps have a board with lots of pictures of you and your OH as you were growing up with lots of different family members and friends and make sure there are lots of pictures of your mum on there. Or perhaps a picture of her on the table where you have the cake or something?

Hope that helps a bit.

I've seen other people on here have had photos set out and some have had lockets with pictures of relatives. I think there was someone who had a locket which was attached to their bouquet in some way. Can't remember who it was. I've bought a pair of cufflinks for my OH which have pictures of his nan and grandad engraved on them. They look really nice.

http://www.withlovefrom.com/product-Photo-Engraved-Cufflinks-WCU02_PHOTO/

I've had a couple of ideas about this. My dearly loved grandad passed away suddenly in Jan 2010 which left me utterly devastated as i wanted him to walk me down the aisle. My uncle also died in 2007 as well as an aunt in 2008 and D's lovely cousin just this january so we have people to remember. D's Grandad is also terminally ill and we're worried he won't make it much past christmas.

So we're planning on having grandparents' and parents' wedding photos in vintagey frames on the cake table to involve our grandads.

I'm also going to be having a locket hung either from my bouquet or have the locked added to a pearl bracelet to have a photo of my Grandad in so he's walking down the aisle with me. I might also pop a photo of my uncle in too, as i was very close to him and he would have been my second choice to walk me down the aisle (eeep, its making me well up just thinking about it) It won't be obvious that its there so won't offend people that its only grandad and uncle in the locket, hopefully.

As for my aunt, D's grandad and cousin i don't know how we're going to commemorate them. Maybe have a big photo collage of family and friends with photos of them included so that its not obvious but that they are still very much part of our family. In fact, we're having a washing line with photos of us so we might just put something similar together with family photos on it.

Did your Mum have a favourite perfume or flower? If yes you could wear her perfume on the day as a tribute that only you would know about which would be nice and personal. In the same way you could incorporate her favourite flower into your bouquet / buttonholes. That would be a nice touch for your Dad as well who would understand the significance of the flower.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm sure you'll feel her with you every step of the way whatever you do.

Hi Francesca,

Not a wardrobe answer but someone posted on here recently about something similar - I think a Dad and what they were doing was have the vicar light a candle at the start of the ceremony, say a few words about the dad and then leave the candle burning throughout so that he was 'there'.

Don't know if you're having a church or civil ceremony but I guess a registrar could do something similar if you asked, or someone else could do it before the registrar starts.

Ideas about perfume, flowers and jewellery are all lovely too.

Wishing you lots of love and strength for your wedding day. x

Unfortunately neither of ur dad's are are still around so my God Father did the God Father of the bride speach and mentioned them both (at a diner the night b4 my brother made a speach on behalf of and about my dad which had me sobbing uncontrollably, quite glad he didnt do it on the day!)

also our exit song was 'Ive got the word on a string' as my dad was a huge Frank Sinatra fan and i have a locket with my dad's photo in which I attached to by bouquet ( i know some brides sew something similar into the dress or hem or attach to a bracelet! here is mine

I've been thinking about the same thing, and a good friend suggested including my mum in pictures in a suble way but that will be meaningful to me, by deliberately having my favourite framed picture of her behind me in a photograph, stood on a table or mantlepiece. It'll just make up part of the background, but I'll know and be more aware of it.

Just a thought..

I echo what everyone here has said, I am very lucky that I have never lost anyone that close to me (touch wood) but I think the idea of incorporating something from that loved one into the day is a cracking idea. MrMini is wearing his grandads cufflinks on the day, he passed away before we got together but I hear he was awesome

Overall I am sorry for your loss and your mum will be by your side whatever you do on the big day.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm having one of these (https://www.flutterbyweddings.co.uk/wedding-photo-frame-charm) tied to my bouquet with a photo of my Granddad in it.

Timely. Today would have been my grandparents 66th wedding anniversary.

We can't "publicly" remember lost loved ones as we have a family member who really doesn't cope well with anything surrounding death and bereavement, and it would really cause us problems (and ruin their day too) if we did anything open like the ideas in this thread. Do you have anyone in a similar position?

What we might do is we have a triple candle holder, so we can each light a candle for our respective "lost ones" at the start of the ceremony, and then at the end of the ceremony use both candles to light the middle one. To anyone else it will symbolise the joining of our two families, but in our minds we can use it to remember lost loved ones as well. I may also carry photographs of various family members in my pocket, but again it'll be just me that knows about it.

Thank you everyone for the kind words and brilliant ideas. I had thought about a locket but I'm not wearing a necklace, but I think the photoframe charm idea is great and will have a look at the site. We are having a church wedding, I'll speak to the Reverend about the idea of a candle for mum (although its bound to have me ruining my mascara before the ceremony has even begun). Also I like the idea of incorporating pics of her at the reception - we've got a few photoboards we are planning for the evening which gives me a chance to add pictures too. Mum and dad managed to have their 50th wedding anniversary before mum died (and its only a week apart from our wedding date) so a photo of them on their wedding day next to the cake might be lovely.

Thanks again, and I hope that everyone enjoys remembering those special to them on their Big Day.

In this case it's me that'll be in bits with the slightest mention of my mum or brother. I keep thinking about how I'll handle it if my OH makes any mention of those that can't be with us. I'd love to be able to cope and to have them included and referred to, but just don't think I'd manage. But I've been really interested to read this thread and see some very touching and subtle ideas.

So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2009, so I have decorated a photo frame with mini roses to match our colour scheme, and will be putting a photo of him in it, which will then go on the top table with me. xxx

That's a very beautiful idea and brought a tear to my eye just imagining how that would be / feel.

Good luck with everything xx

I lost my dad in 2008 and I bought a photo frame charm which my mum forgot to put round my flowers and for various reasons I was too stressed out to notice on the day so it ended up being in her handbag all day but we also printed out the poem below and put it in a 3 heart frame with a photo of dad in the middle and the poem either side. My OH also carried a card in his inside pocket which we had made for dad's funeral with a picture of him on it. I thought I was going to be a total mess on the day, and was really worried I would be crying the whole time, but I actually went in to the ceremony room in the morning and looked at the photo and the poem and had a major cry then and I think it helped me to remain composed throughout the ceremony. Don't get me wrong, I cried during my uncle's 'Uncle of the Bride' speech as he mentioned dad and it was very emotional but without the cry in the morning I think I would have been in a right state all day.

My Little Girl, don’t cry for me,

I’ll be right by your side.

I’d never miss out on this day

That you become a bride

I’m here with you, to hold your hand,

And give your heart away,

To the man you chose to take care of you

Forever from this day.

Today I place your hand in his,

With blessings and with pride

My Little Girl, don’t cry for me,

I’m right here by your side.

I'm a HIB and not getting married, however I have always said that if I did I would give packets of seeds to people as favours. The seeds would all be representative of a family member. For example my Nan loved Lily of the Valley and my Grandad grew roses. So people will get a rose cutting of some sort from me ?

When my friend got married, as you entered the hall they had photographs of all the important family members no longer with us, on their wedding days framed. That was lovely.

We are having one of the hymns played at my grandparent's wedding (and my grandpa's funeral) to remember him. Part of the reason I went for the venue I did is because they had 2 big pots of the flowers which my grandma (and me) was named after outside the door.

Hi,

I am having a charm for my bouquet wiuth a photo locket:

http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_query=bouquet+charms&search_submit=&search_type=category&category=weddings

I did a table plan for a bride who had sadly lost her Mom, she had written on the bottom of it...

"Your seat at our wedding is reserved, but please reserve a small place in your heart for sharon's mom Jan, who sadly is no longer with us"

x

My OH actually wants to put a place setting at the family table for his beloved granddad who died in Oct last year...

My 2 brothers died when I was younger and if any of the speeches mentioned them I know my mum would be in bits. She has a locket with their pictures in that I'm going to borrow for the day and tie around my bouquet. I've got a small blue swarovski heart on a blue ribbon that I was going to tie around my bouquet so I think I'll take the locket off the chain and tie it with the ribbon somehow.