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Expert July 2023 Cornwall

New friends or old less close friends?

Anonbride, 13 March, 2023 at 10:08 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 5

Guest lists are always the dramaaas aren't they?

FH and I are currently debating whether to invite a new couple we have only befriended this year, but have been seeing pretty much every other week and really love...

...or whether to invite friends we were close to back at like school and now see rarely but don't feel massively connected to even though we have strong history and do still ultimately think they are nice people.

FH errs towards length of time you've known someone being more important, even if you're no longer super close, I'm more of the view that now we're older we're better able to judge who is a good egg and if we're close now that's more important.

New couple does feel like the riskier move, because it's early days so what if our friendship fizzles and I suppose it's a bit bold to invite someone to your wedding when you've only known them a few months, but equally what if we're super close for years to come?! FH and I at a bit of a stalemate haha and do need to send invites out ASAP.

Any views? Any other factors we should be considering to make the decision?


5 replies

Latest activity by Anonbride, 30 March, 2023 at 09:44
  • C
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    We had a similar situation and the way we look at it is the people there on your day should be people you are closest too and have been part of your story/planning. It is tough but I would say go for it. We had couples who we knew longe ton the day and some if which we have not seen or spoke to in the 10 months since our wedding which makes me sad but then I am sad there weren't people there we hadn't known that long but are still close with.


    Sorry may not be helpful as can't think of other factors other than invite who you want not what you feel should because of older traditions! Good luck Hun x
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  • S
    Rockstar April 2023 West London
    Sarah ·
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    If someone said you need to reduce your numbers and can’t have either of them, how would you feel? Who would you feel upset about, or who would you be relieved at not having to make a decision about?

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  • K
    Dedicated June 2023 Essex
    Kirsty ·
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    I think I am more on the side of invite the couple you are closest to. I think personally it could damage the friendship if you don't invite them, especially when you see them often. You already don't see the other couple very often, so of you don't invite them, not much is going to change there.

    I think on the day its about being surrounded by all the people you care about and are important in your life. So on that basis, its probably going to be the people you see the most.

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  • B2B2023
    Curious April 2023 East Central London
    B2B2023 ·
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    This is very tricky and we had exactly the same issue. In the end we managed to find a good balance of old and new. I limited school friends to those who I actually keep in touch with individually even if I don’t see them that often. We did also invite people who we think we will continue to share our lives with going forward. Do you have separate evening guests?
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  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Thanks for the advice everyone!!
    We decided last night to invite the new couple friends - we'd just gone out for dinner with them and had such a great time, so decided we're going to invite them first. If they decline, we'll invite the old friends.

    We don't have seperate evening guests because our wedding is effectively a destination (about 4-5hrs away for most guests) so we didn't feel right inviting people to travel that far just for the evening.

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