No Bridesmaids?

I don't think I've been to a wedding where there weren't BMs. If I did, I'd notice the lack of them but not care, more likely to think "Oh, that's unusual".

This wouldn't be followed by the thought "God, she must be a right b*tch"

You will have more than enough to do. And it could be very sweet.

Ahhh thanks. I feel a little more calmer :-)

xxx

It will be fine and a lovely morning with you and your Mum sharing it together. It's nice that you are not thinking about having them just for the sake of it x

Thanks Nic! I deffo feel better about the whole thing now!

xx

I'm not having any Just be prepared that if you are having a make-up artist/hairdresser/florist they'll start trying to push doing your bridesmaids hair/whatever too, lol. Don't know how many times I've said I'm not having any and they just go 'oh...'. ?

Will just be me and my mum too in the morning - I think it will be nice to spend it alone with her as she lives abroad and I rarely get to see her.

I had never seen weddings without BMs but in the last 2 months I've been to 2 so maybe it is getting more common. Brides still had a fab time with friends/family and ppl helped the bride on the day and assumed roles that commonly BMs do. Tbh BMs also come with a bit of drama in lots of cases so there are pros and cons either way xxx

Good ?. How are the plans coming along now? x

I don't want bridesmaids just a few flower girls including my daughter, niece & 2 friends daughters. Think I'm going to upset my sister in law to be but I always said I just want flower girls so got to see how that pans out. x

I dont think I've seen anyone without any bridemaids - but again, if I went to a wedding without any, I wouldnt find it unusual.

You say you've got twins, are you going to have them walking down the aisle with you? I think that might distract from having no bridemaids, as I think the only time bridemaids are really noticed is down the aisle, as they dont give the rings, they dont do speeches, they're just kinda there to look pretty.

Also for thinking you'd be missing out on things, in a way, having no bridemaids might help your uni friends be more enthusiastic about helping out, as I find even though I have one adult bridesmaid with 3 little ones, I kinda think my other friends are finding that they dont really have much input as my MOH is there for that - even though, it would have been nice.

Im kind of in the same boat - Im from Canada but getting married in the UK. Sadly (well no happily) they have all just got married or had kids so no one has the money for a big trip. I think if you are find with no bridesmaids then do it!

It's definitely getting more popular because having no bridesmaids not only cuts down the expense of dresses, hair, make-up, flowers, presents etc but also cuts out some of the hassle that bridesmaids can bring Our daughter had a Man of Honour instead and lots of people are having either two best 'people'a best man and a best woman instead or just male attendants. I have to say that the Man of Honour at our daughters wedding who is her best friend too, did a stupendous job and everybody loved him!

Ahhh seems Im not the only one then! Thats nice to know :-)

Regards my twins, Theyre both boys and theyll be 7 by then, so I think they might be part of the groom party?? Ive never attended a wedding with children so unsure of what they can do?

My little girl will have just turned three so was going to have her as a flower girl and walk down the aisle ahead of me. My plan is walk down the aisle with my mum cos my dad died a few years back.

Seems Im going to be saving money and dramas with no bms then?! Bonus! haha

Thanks for all your replies, managed to put a big fat smile on my face :-)

xx

1) It's really sad you lost your friends because of this. I am in a similar situation, met OH when I had just turned 16 and he was 19. Together 3 and a half years on and although his friends have accepted he settled down 'early' I cannot say the same for my 'friends'. I even had one tell me to leave him or our friendship was nothing anymore!!! Naturally, I told her to eff off! I now have no close friends and have never felt so good! (escaped all that bitchiness etc) I have never been one to party or drink myself silly because I think it's a waste of money and would much rather concentrate on running my own home aged 19!!!!

2) Again I am similar, I have a few friends but they are only uni friends if that makes sense. I don't see them any other time than uni or birthdays etc. They know I'm engaged and have been trying to hint getting invited but they won't be getting invites as i'm not close to them like that at all.

3) If you are the same as me, my mum IS my best friend and she is all I need! I do have two bridesmaids though (my sisters who will be 19 and 6 when we get married)

It is YOUR wedding, weddings do not come with a step by step handbook that you have to obey, it's entirely up to you

Hi everyone, I'm a newbie here but was reading this thread with interest. I have 2 friends who I am considering having as bridesmaids at my wedding next summer but over the past couple of years, they've let me down on various things when I've tried to organise events such as birthdays or nights out and even my engagement party which is taking place tomorrow! I'm now in two minds as to whether or not to have them as bridesmaids seeing as they can be quite unreliable. They're great friends but I'd feel more than disappointed if I was expecting them to be there on my big day and then they had to bail at the last moment. Not quite sure what to do!

I didn't have a bridesmaid because I don't have any close female friends that I would have wanted in the role. I had my best male friend as my bridesman instead. Nobody said anything, except recently I was telling my OH's sister's new girlfriend and she wet herself laughing that I had a man instead of a maid. I think your little girl as a flower girl will be lovely.

My friend is having no adult bridesmaids, just two flower girls (her OH's nieces). I don't think it's weird at all ?

I didn't have any bridesmaids and we had the full church wedding.

It was LOVELY!!!!

Some lovely stories :-)

I dont have male friends either! Lol

Thanks for your replies. What a difference a post can make to how you feel....... Thanks guys :-)

I'm not having any either much to my Mother's disgust - I have 2 younger sisters.

Personally on the whole I don't really think they add much to the day, hold your bouquet for a bit during the ceremony & appear in the photos while costing money on shoes, dress, flowers, hair, make up... Traditionally a maid of honour or bridesmaid would organise a hen do but I know from the 2013 FB group that in a lot of cases it sounds better to organise your own!

I am not having any either. I have two close female friends but as I live a way away from them, plus one will have a 2 year old and a two (ish) month old when we get married, I didn't want to make either of them feel like they had to be away from their families. We are having a v small wedding and want it as relaxed as possible.

My son will be 1 and is being his daddy's best man.

And as for a hen do, I will be going for a weekend away with my best mate on a girlie weekend of my choosing (afternoon tea and cocktails) instead of having to engage in some of the activities of my nightmares! x

This is exactly what happened with me. My sister basically held me at gunpoint as she has never been a BM before. As she said she'd pay for her dress etc, then of course. Then I had to ask OH's sister, as she has been BM at his two brothers weddings and it would look massively bad if I didn't, but we get on brill so its good. Then my niece is going to be a mini-bm. Then my youngest sister who has learning disabilities and was adamant she wasn't being a BM has now decided she is (because I said she's allowed to wear trainers!!)...

So I went from not being bothered and having none, to having flipping four!

In answer to the OP, I think it's absolutely fine I was quite comfortable about it. Never feel forced into doing something because its the 'done thing'

I've been to two weddings with no bridesmaids, including no flowergirls.

One was because the bride fell out with her only bridesmaid about a month before the wedding and "sacked" her. But she said it was the best thing she did and only really had her in the first place because she felt pressured to.

The other one just decided not to have any. The bride got ready on her with just her mum and she said it really helped with her nerves to have as few people around as possible.

To be honest, a part from the initial walking down the aisle bit (and even then, I didn't have any judgements), I didn't notice that there were no bridesmaids at either wedding.

Do whatever you think is best for you. I think not having any bridesmaids is becoming more and more popular.

I am so glad for finding this post while I reading week old threads to see what I've missed!

I was about to post the same thing!

I am Brazilian and BMs are not a tradition there, we instead choose closer couples to be "godparents" of the couple getting married so I also have decided not to go for BMs after much debate with myself. (Even after I already chosen who the BMs would be)

The reasons are slightly different. I am a bit of a paranoid control freak and want to avoid getting upset if the BMs just want to look pretty and not get along with "tasks" I'd give to them. They would be all Brazilians and probably not used to what is required from them ?

The fact 3 of them live in Brazil makes me also worry they wouldn't make the journey, and the other (who lives in UK) just gone and got pregnant last year and will have a baby and a toddler in tow for the wedding (how inconsiderate! ?) and that would add to the stress of not having them by my side too.

In the end, I decided to still choose the same girls and try to give some tasks to help on the day and then I will have a speech during the speeches and thank them individually for things they helped and give them special keepsakes, in appreciation.

So I was a bit selfish, when thinking I am avoiding headaches and tears if it does come of them not leaving up to the BM title, hehe.

I will have my niece as a flower girl, and probably the toddler daughers of the 2 ladies who would be my BMs (which won't be missed if they don't make the journey). Also my nephews (if they come to UK) would be part of my "entourage" probably carrying the rings, like we do in Brazil!

Is good to see I won't be seen as a being from another planet for not having BMs!

Feeling loads better about it now thanks to all your replies :-)

xx