No children at our wedding

Hiii

if you scan through the threads you will see this come up a million times ... Majority of advice : do what makes you happy ! In regard to planning becoming easier - same advice , the sooner you sod other people and their opinions the easier it gets xxx

^^^^ This!!

We are having no children full stop at our wedding, all my friends bar a few have children and they all know and are happy, the only one I have an issue with is my step sister, she's very clingy to her daughter and is reluctant to let her go to her grandparents (on the fathers side) but as I've told my dad's wife, if she can't come she can't come (I'm not too fussed)

At the end of the day, if you can't afford/accommodate/just don't want to have children there then don't stress yourself out over other peoples reactions, I@m sure your friends parents will be able to look after her son, you've given her enough notice!

xx

We've only got one potential child coming to our reception. I don't really know how to word I don't want him there as he's my god kid. but I just don't want him there.... I have no interest in children and he's noisy and yeah....

We have exactly the dame deal going on at the moment.

After counting the children of fmaily and friends it worked out that there would be 23 under 7 year olds at the Ceremony if they all came and as much as i love my friends kids, neither me nor my OH want the ceremony being disrupted by 23 kids.

It sounds harsh, i know, but at the end of the day (god i hate that phrase) that is the most important part of the day and we're paying a lot of money for it.

We have sent a note out with all our invitations which simply says 'we're really sorry but due to restrictions on numbers the ceremony and wedding breakfast will be restricted to family children only. However we love your little uns and they are more than welcome to come to the evening Do should you wish to arrnage it yourselves'

Only 1 has questioned it so far and accepted it after i exeplained about the number of kids.

Stick to your guns, its your choice noone elses! Good luck!!

Thankfully we don't have many children in either of our immediate families other than our own two children and my cousins two. They'll be the only kids at our wedding. We haven't excluded friends/extended family's children for the evening however, I can't imagine there will be many people bringing kids. The option is there for them.

It's your wedding, your decision! There'll be plenty more dilemmas along the way so get used to putting your foot down now and it will get easier as planning goes on! (or so I've found!)

We're having our ceremony on a monday and our issue is making sure the children that I need there, are there!!! My sister is concerned that my nieces headmaster will refuse to let them out of school and I've yet to ask for permission to have my son there lol. But it has covered the awkward issue of other children as most of them are in my little lad's school and I know the head would not be pleased if half the school weren't there lol!!

As long as you're prepared for fallout, then let it go - but honestly, what will happen? Chances are they won't even find out until the day itself and they're not all going to rush off and grab their children then are they?

Our venue capacity - 120

Our guest list without children - 120

Our guest list with children - 151

You may think it's rude but you cannot argue with numbers. No I don't have kids but I love them and hate the fact we are having to say no but not only do we not have room we do not have the funds!

Icebabe, for the record, I wouldn't be the slightest bit offended if my oh wasn't invited. In fact, I've invited 4 of my uni friends to my wedding and their other halves (god I hate that name for them, for no reason) are only invited to the evening. I see them occasionally so I'd much prefer an actual friend to attend rather than someone's boyfriend.

I don't have kids but am having them at mine, luckily only a few people have kids so it's only four. I certainly would consider not inviting kids if there were loads if them floating around.

^^ This! I've been invited places without OH and vice versa with no problem or qualms.

i didn't want kids at the wedding but OH has 2 nephews and a really b*tchy sister who threatened not to come if we didn't have them - that was just to the ceremony mind I was happy for them to be there for the whole rest of the day. It wasn't worth the fight so I've hired a child minder :-) we have in total 6 kids coming to the wedding but if it were more we couldn't have afforded the child minder for them all so it would have been a no.

I don't think anyone needs to chill out.

i personally wouldn't care of my partner was invited, you would be offended. We simply have different opinions. I personally can't see how someone can be offended if their kid isn't invited. Inconvenienced yes - it must be hard to arrange logistically. But... Kids aren't free so no justification for being truly annoyed IMO.

Excuse me, are you making judgments about my relationship?! I haven't said anything rude to you and I wouldn't sink that low.

We have different opinions, and until now have just been sharing our point of views. There's no need to resort to slagging off people's relationships!

I'd appreciate an apology

It seems to me, just like it's the people without children saying they don't want them at their wedding, the people finding it offensive are the ones who do have children? I just think why should people who don't have children have to put up with other peoples kids running all over the gaff on their wedding day and pay for the privilege too? If of course that's not the day they had in mind? One thing planning my wedding has taught me is that no1 has the right to make demands or kick up a stink about what you want for your day! Those that don't like it can quite frankly lump it, soz! All our friends that do have children are happy to have a lovely/day night without their children and be able to mix and socialise without worrying their little ones have wondered off near one of the many lakes surrounding our venue. Personally, when we have children and if we are lucky enough to be invited to a wedding, I would be grateful of the same :-)

This has made me chuckle!! A very good way of making your point. Invite all the children and there's no one there to supervise them. lol.

Not inviting children, like many others, is clearly a sensitive topic. Had me & the fella chosen to get married in the UK, we were only intending on inviting our nieces and newphews but were only planning on a small wedding and there would have been 1 child for every adult. We also weren't going to invite partners unless we both knew the couple and socialise with them. Unfortunate, brutal, rude - maybe but a necessary evil on occasion.

... didn't even make it past page 1.

I can see this from both angles, but lets take the childs angle. If there nothing at the wedding thats 'fun' like bouncy castles, disco floor to skid on, entertainment etc etc its just a bunch of people i don't really know doing boring 'adult stuff' standing up and talking in one room, then they go to another room and then theres MORE talking. finally getting to eat and there MORE TALKING! ... Buffet and disco? Now THAT'S more like it!!

every wedding as a child, that was my highlight I mean, there was normally a gaggle of us, me and my cousins if it was a close family wedding, but not always that way. ceremonies drove me bonkers, then i couldn't wait to get outside and do cartwheels or make daisy chains (then get bollocked about grass stain on my dress) if the wedding its aimed at being family friendly because that's the wishes of the couple then its all fun and games, literally. But if its not family oriented, and has more adult themes (i mean cocktails and drinking here) i can see why children aren't invited. and as a child would be bored out of my skull.

O.P...letting your friend bring her kid may open the floodgates for other people expecting to bring theirs. They may not know just now, and accept it but they'll find out on the day x

Ive been to weddings where my daughter has and hasn't been invited and it's been fine, I've got great family and friend support though so I guess that's a factor which could come into play for others x

Our wedding is on a Friday so immediate family kids have been invited (14) with the option for the rest in the evening.

Just do what you feel is right xxx

Ice babe I have 13 friends attending my wedding without their partners even husbands and children! Sometimes it's just not possible with numbers ! Every single one of my girls is attending without their families ... Just saying.

OP don't feel bad for your decision !

I have 3 children and am loving the idea of lots of kids at the wedding.There will be a bouncy castle,party songs and garden games BUT it is my day and this is how I want it to be. I have been invited to weddings both with and without my children and can honestly say I have never been offended about it. Just as it is my right to want kids and chaos at my wedding,it is any hosts right to invite the guests they want to attend. Logistically its harder if my children arent invited but if there is no sitter,one of us will stay home or we regretfully decline.....wouldnt dream of trying to make the bride feel bad about it.

Go with whatever you want to do. As long as you are diplomatic/ lie about the reasons if needed,they you will be fine xx

Excuse me what ?

Oh I see !

its an expression of how rubbish it was but rubbish didn't seem to cut it . As for editing it's a standard thing ! To be honest I think if admin had a problem with me id have been removed before I reached the amount of posts iv got to . Oh well I'm sure you'll get over it !

Sweet dreams x

Hi tohaveandtohold14 - We're having a small wedding abroad and children aren't invited other than my 12 year old niece. We have a large circle of friends and about half have at least 2 children. Inviting the children to our wedding would have added another 1/3rd to the number of people attending. Also, although we know our friends' children, we tend to socialise with our friends without their children being present with the occasionally child friendly BBQ or evening at one of our houses.

From the RSVPs to date, we have 6 couples coming with us, 3 have children, 3 don't. I'd say that the ones without kids are the most excited. We have a large circle of friends and lots of couples won't be able to join us because they have young children. We've still invited them and I've popped a handwritten note in with the invites to explain that we appreciate that it will be unlikely that they could attend but that it would have felt wrong for us not to invite them. In addition. two of my friends who initially said they would be coming are now pregnant and I couldn't be happier for them. We will celebrate will all our friends on our return (sans children).

At the moment my best friend has said she won't be able to come with us as she can't afford it however; I've told her not to RSVP until the last minute in case she wins the lottery! I know that it is highly unlikely that she would come without her daughter (my goddaughter) and I've already decided that should my best friend find that she can come with us then I will ask my goddaughter to be a bridesmaid. I don't think any of our other friends would have a problem with her coming with us. Neither my OH and I or our group of friends would let decisions and arrangements that relate to one day cloud our future friendship x

Edited to respond to the OPs original post.

Such a good point. X

Lol why do people get so offended when brides don't want kids at their wedding or do but cant afford to. Not every couple loves kids. Im not paying 80pound a head for some kids to sit there and be board or playing up.

I don't have kids but know plenty of my guests who didn't think twice about going on hol without there kids or to a concert for the day etc without them so im sure a day at my wedding wont bother them. They cant be with then 24/7. Im also inviting 3 girls and not there partners as I well only want them there as its our day not theres lol. Im sure the lads will be happy to have a night out with there mates or something, While there gfs party away. If any of my guests do mind then they just have to say they cant make it on the reply slip. My bridesmaid was over the moon when I told her, her 2 kids cant come lol she said she looks forward to being able to relax for a whole day.

Op do what ever is right for you and h2b, I think guests will understand.

Wow cant believe how much people are attacking each other.

At the end of the day its up to the bride & groom who to invite to THEIR wedding.
I wouldn't get offended if my oh or future kids didnt get invited, especially when the wedding party have to pay for each guest to be there (a point that a lot of people seem to forget).
Plus if they have to limit numbers they should be allowed to invite their friends/family who they want there (and actually know), rather than feeling they have to invite everyones kids/partners (who they may or may not know).

I think that if you invite children you will need to ensure there are enough activities to keep them occupied, as certain parts of the day can be boring for them. And I know from previous experience that sometimes because the child is bored, whoever is watching them misses most of the day as they are trying to entertain them.

And as someone said here-why ruin friendships over not inviting their kids/partners etc.

This has got rather heated hasn't it!!! I think it is a matter of opinion at the end of the day. I'm a mother of four children and in the past, I've always said I wouldn't go to a wedding if my whole family wasn't invited - stupid thing to say really - would I miss my best friend's wedding because she asked for no kids? No way!! Would I miss a distant relative's wedding who I haven't seen in years and probably only invited me because they thought it was expected? Maybe - depending on where the wedding was and if I could get sitters. It's a decision to be made by the guest whether they accept a no-kids invitation and so not worth getting so het up over!!

My wedding is on a weekday and we're not inviting children - we can have 65 guests (inclusive of ourselves) and if we invited children, we wouldn't be able to invite some of the people who are really important to us. Most of my guests are pleased as they don't have to worry about getting their children out of school. Our reception is at the weekend and all the children are invited to that and I hope they have a really good time at our really good party - for me it's the best of both worlds - a wedding with and without children.

If anyone is offended by the no-kids rule, they haven't told me yet!! If they are? That's their choice and I'm not going to argue it with them ?

Do you not think those who have a 'no children' policy know this?

If our friend's decide not attend because of the no kids policy I would totally understand, it wouldn't affect our friendship. But I wouldn't change my day to suit them,

How can this argument be happening again? ?

I dont know FOO, weddings make people crazy

Why not? Do you not go to anything without your child. What if it was an adult dinner party would you still take your child then? Some people prefer to have family wedding with lots of children and some prefer to have a more adult occasion, it depends on the style of the day. I know a lot of familes with children who would love to have a break for the day without them!

We're having two children to our wedding, they're my nephews, one is my page boy the other is too young to be left and as theyre both my sisters children, all family to babysit will be at the wedding. We are not having any other children. I hate children. All of my friends know this and although I'll be polite and do the obligatory cooing over the new born, they know how I feel and would never expect to attend with their children.

Most of the people with children are coming to the evening reception anyway and as a few have pointed out, it'd be nice to have a child-free adult evening.

I think to be offended by being asked to attend a wedding without your child, when you're not paying for anything and to expect your friends to pay for your child or expect your non-attendance is rude!

Wow.

Same old story, different day.

H and I have 4 kids between us. Only 2 of them came to our (very small, weekday) wedding. If we had a bigger wedding, then only our kids would have gone. I don't like kids (apart from my own 2), and wouldn't have wanted tons of them running around.

If I am invited somewhere without my kids, I blummin jump at the chance for a bit of child free time. *bad mummy*. Same goes for my H. I am perfectly capable of going out without him. I wouldn't be offended in the slightest.