No Evening Guests??? Help Please??

I'm not having any evening guests - because most people will have to travel and I think that's a waste if they don't get to come to the whole day!

Once the evening gets started, the venue lock one of the rooms that won't be used so people can't spread too easily. At 10pm we're having a cheese board put out which should add 'something else' to do, but as we're having singers and casino tables, I'm not worried about people getting bored.

I don't think you need evening guests, so if you'd rather invite more for the whole event then I would and wouldn't worry. As long as you change your entertainment, have a discos or similar so people can get up and have a boogie, you'd be fine. If you don't want them all there all day then just invite the relevant people to the evening do only. There is a risk they won't come, but if you have a good day crew then the evening will just flow on.

We're not having a night do on the same day - that comes two weeks later. Our day do will go into the night, we're just providing music, thinking about a roulette table, and some bacon butties and it'll be great Mind we are 150 miles away lol.

We had about 80 in the day and invited another 35 ish for the night do. Our venue was an hour and fifteen minutes away from where we live and I'd already spoken to night guests and explained that whilst we'd love to have them for the whole day we couldn't fit that many in for the ceremony and meal and we understood it was a long way to travel.

We decided to have a BBQ at night as well as sweet buffet and desserts. This meant that those people who had made such an effort were fed properly when they arrived. My Dad also bought all of the evening guests a drink. About 20/25 evening guests turned up.

Also, for the awkward day/night transition we let guests know there would be a period of time after the meal and before the disco & BBQ started where they could go back to their hotels/B&Bs and have a rest. This proved popular with my family although most of our friends didn't bother but at least it was an option.

I don't think it matters if you don't have separate evening guests. I think a few people on here haven't and their days still ran smoothly. Just have a change in tempo so to speak so there's a bit of a change-up and people know the party has really begun!

At the same time though, if you ideally did only want the 60 to the day and an additional 40 in the evening I don't think the 40min journey would put people off. You could encourage cab/lift sharing in this instance if you think people would be worried about the cost of a 40min cab.

We aren't having any evening guests as our venue is big enough to accommodate everyone and the majority of guests will be travelling 3 - 6 hours to get there (some have even further to travel including me and my OH!) Also public transport in the area is crap so we are putting on a bus to and from the venue from a local hotel but people will still have had to pay for at least of couple of nights in a hotel, eating out, taxis etc so with that in mind we didn't feel we could ask people only for an evening! Especially as there isn't much to do in the local area.

We are having a ceilidh band in the evening so should be fairly obvious that the evening do has started and we will also have a wedding cheese cake set up for people to sample from. There will also be hog roast butties left over from the hog roast we are having as our main meal.

We recently went to a wedding where we were evening guests. We ended up getting there late as we went out for dinner before hand and unfortunately the service was terrible and we ended up being quite late for the start of the evening do and missed first dance, cutting of the cake etc. I felt really bad cos they had gone to the effort of inviting us and I know I would be disappointed if we had evening guests who turned up late (Even if it wasn't their fault!)

Personally I think having evening guests is a great idea as it does break the day up a bit and add a bit extra to the evening having "fresh meat"

It would be different if you only had about 10 extra guests to invite as it wouldn't make much of a difference to the evening, but 40 is a good amount.

We are having 50 in the day and around 40 extra in the evening (we are actually inviting about 60 but have already discounted some unreliable ones haha

x

If it's in your budget to invite everyone to the full day then go for it. I'm sure they'll all appreciate the invite. I'm not having evening guests and I can honestly say that as a guest at a wedding I've never noticed other people arrive to note whether there was a change in atmosphere. The party begins when the dancing begins either way.

We are not having any evening guests. Our venue holds 120 max but once tables are set out, I there isn't room to sit that number comfortably. We holding a family party in the hall next month, so I'll setting it up like a practice wedding and counting seats etc. Currently our numbers are around 100. These are all guest I'd want all day, we have lots of people we'd like to invite in the evening, but there wasn't space so now it's a case of in or out! I also worried about how to set up the hall during the day that would allow space for evening guests when they arrived, leaving empty tables etc. After the meal when people are having coffee we'll cut the cake. There then may be a bit of a lull but I'm looking forward to it, so I can go and mingle again. Guest will be happy to chat and drink, then the MC will announce first dance, we'll do that then kick off straight into the Ceilidh.

We're not having any evening guests, we're only inviting close friends & family and they are obviously coming for the while day. About 45 in total. Not worried about there being a lull and hadn't even thought about it until this thread! We are having quite a short day (getting married at 3pm) so there is no time for getting bored!

Orignally we were going to have a ceremony in the church with only close family, with a late time, then straight into just a party in the village hall, with buffet for all guests. My friends then said that nothing would be stopping them coming to the church anyway to see me get married, so I thought sod it, we'll be in the church getting married anyway, the guest may as well be there!

Hi everyone and thanks for all your comments. Yes we are having a disco in the evening. Our wedding breakfast will end about 6-6.15 and then we planned an hour of chill out time and freshen up time for our day guests before the evening guests arrive from 7 onwards.

we have a minimum budget to spend at our venue due to us getting married on a Saturday in summer (July 2015) so we were adding extras on to make up the money so having 90 guests instead of 60 isn't a problem cost wise.

I just hate the thought of only an extra 20 coming in the evening if we stick to the original plan of 60 in the day and inviting 40 at night. Also we envisage about 10 of our day guests going home after the meal so then there might only be 70 of us in total at night.

You know I find this more stressful than anything else. The dress, the bridesmaids, anything else doesn't bother me but wanting to get a good atmosphere for the day does. I think it comes from living in the hotel and catering industry all my life (Parents job) It's good to hear alot of u aren't having any evening guests and some of ur experiences and thoughts x

I was also worried about day/evening thing so we are having a late wedding (married at 2.30pm) and around 60 people all the way through. I went to two weddings last year and the one with evening guests I personally think broke up the atmosphere of the event. The other wedding where everyone was there together the whole way through worked really well as you ended up talking to people you didn't know as by the evening they felt more familiar and the party carried straight through. But we are having a mainly adult wedding which will be a bit boozy and sober people joining in at a point when quite a few are likely to be a bit tipsy would not be a good idea. To break it up after the wedding breakfast we have a pool room, bar and disco area for people to go to, the wedding singer will do an evening slot and then be the DJ and we are having cocktail hour and evening buffet. I can't imagine anyone being bored!

I got married in Australia & I'd never heard of evening guests till I moved to the UK. I had 60 guests all day & night. The party started after the meal, so no lull in the evening.

Wow cinnamon009 - sounds fab, I don't think ur guests will get bored either.

Teal - we are obviously strange in the UK, ha ha!

i don't think my guests will get bored I just thought the transition into the 'party' might not be as good without evening guests arriving. We have got a BBQ in the evening and a disco. Will probably have a chocolate fountain. Ours will mainly be adults bar about 4 children including our daughter.

We were told to make the most of ur day so we are getting married earlier on at 12 noon with reception drinks and canapés. Plus garden games for adults and the children.

We would be looking at inviting 95 all day obviously all might not come. Hmmmm, it would take the stress out of worrying people won't turn up in the evening!

Decisions decisions. I love hearing others peoples plans for the day xxx

A friend said to me the other day "when it comes to Weddings, people will travel, even for the evening do", as I was worrying about the same thing. Ours is about an hours drive away. Most people seem to be okay with booking hotels etc as long as they have notice.

I have also travelled over an hour myself for an evening do (booked a hotel etc) which was fine. Although, the day was running behind, so when people started to arrive for the evening they were doing the speeches and we all had to wait in a separate room! So allowing a bit of 'freshen up' time in between is a good idea, to also allow for any delays.

Our Hotel also suggested us putting a small 'brunch' on the morning after, so all those staying in the area can get back together to say bye (if they want to) and it's also nice to have all the buzz and chatter the morning after (and find out the gossip!) ?

We have 90 people for the wedding and a further 40 for the evening. There's going to be about an hour and a half between the end of the meal/speeches and when the evening guests arrive. It's in the middle of nowhere so there's no pubs or anything for people to go to for a break, so we have booked a local magician to come in for 2 hours to be there to entertain the existing guests,a nd to still be performing when the evening guests arrive, so everyone should be on good spirits.

For the evening doo itself, we have 2 friends bands playing plus some veggie and chicken curries for people to help themselves to. In terms of numbers, we asked people to RSVP to the evening invites as well so that we had rough numbers for the evening catering. You could do the same so that you have an idea how many will actually come? As said earlier, I like the idea of some new life being pumped in to the party.

I was going to ask for RSVPs for evening guests as well but I fear if people decline then it will be too late as the invites will only go out 3 months before. On top of that I'm worried people might just decide not come even after RSVPing that they will. The thing is our venue can sit 100 comfortably but 60 is fine for the sit down meal but there is also a conservatory area which leads to the outside so it is my worse night mare to not have at least 80 people there in total in the evening.

This sounds awful but if we were just invited to the evening of a wedding that was 45 mins away I think we would both look at each other and say we couldn't be bothered. I know this is an awful attitude and I would just add we haven't done this to friends but that's because in the 10 years we have been together we have only been to 2 weddings as full day guests.

If we had a smaller venue then I don't think I would be worried as it would just be a bonus for extras to arrive. The venue isn't huge don't get me wrong but we need a certain amount of people there to build an atmosphere.

xxx

We are only having 50 guests for all day and evening ;-)

The venue is over an hour way from where we live and also the venue only has capacity for about 10 more evening guests anyway so we decided not to bother! I am hoping that the evening do will be fine even with any 'fresh blood' - there is an hour gap whilst the venue is being turned round so people will be able to go to their rooms and freshen up, etc if they wish to do so.

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We aren't having evening guests either. We have 64 guests all day and night and they are the only people we want there. I agree I don't think the evening starts when guests arrive, it starts when the dancing gets going!

We had 63 people in the day, and actually only one extra person down as an evening guest and that was because he had to work during the day and couldn't get to the ceremony and afternoon bit. In fact, five guests left early so we ended up with 58 in the evening. Five people i didn't need to pay for but ended up doing so anyway! very annoying.

Anyway, it didn't make a lot of difference not inviting extra people. We still had a cracking party, people danced and had a great time. We only had a fairly small venue though so it looked full anyway. In terms of merging in to the evening, we purposely had an hours gap between the afternoon tea party and the evening do starting, so that we could make a big thing out of our first dance. Because of that, we got everyone gathered round the dance floor and started the night that way.

Equally my cousins who invited us as evening guests to their wedding spent all their time with their friends that they invited during the day, whilst myself and the other cousins occupied the dance floor. Tbh, they barely noticed we were there but i think the dance floor would have been empty without us. I don't think it made a great deal of difference to their day whether we were there or not.

Thanks everyone, you've really reassured me that not having extra guests in the evening works well.

It looks like we have decided to have everyone at the whole day with no evening guests. We feel people will be so happy to be invited to the day (I know we were at the two weddings we have been to)

we are thinking of inviting all the 95 people and looking at the list we think a definite 85 will come. For us now it feels like it takes away the pressure of worrying whether evening guests will be bothered to come and then worrying about the atmosphere and losing some of our day guests etc.

seems a real drastic change and I still need to get my head around it but I think that's what we shall do.

Xxx

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