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Faye
Beginner April 2025 Northamptonshire

No plus one desitination wedding?

Faye, 25 March, 2024 at 14:04 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 4

We are planning a destination wedding in South Africa, and are only wanting close family to come.


This is due to the cost as we are paying for the full 3 day event in a game reserve ourselves for everyone, space is also very limited. Over and above this when we chose our wedding our dream was of sharing our big day with the people who have been closest to us over the past 15 years we have been together.

SO brother is upset as we have said he cant bring his girlfriend. Baring in mind they have been together 6 months, he has introduced her to us, they are not engaged or living together are we being unreasonable? I would just hate someone being there that i don't know. It was the opposite of what we were wanting.


We have even offered for him to travel with us, and for her to fly out after the wedding. I feel terrible, but also think we should be true to what we want and that he should try to understand.


4 replies

Latest activity by Harry, 25 March, 2026 at 18:00
  • R
    Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    In the first place, the brother's girlfriend is his partner, not a plus one. A 'plus one' is where you send an invitation to a named person '+ guest' - it's designed to allow those who are currently single to bring a date to your wedding. I'd avoid using the term to SO's brother, since it can cause offence to use a term that describes a casual date to refer to a serious partner.

    I can understand that you don't want someone you don't know at your wedding! But at the same time, I can understand why SO's brother is disappointed at the thought of having such a once-in-a-lifetime experience without his girlfriend. Also, while they have only been dating 6 months now, by your wedding, it will be over 18 months - they could even be engaged themselves by that point! (My OH and I got married 18 months after our first date!)

    Obviously, it's your right to have whatever rules you want at your wedding (as long as you're prepared for people to decline if they don't like them!), but you don't want to upset close family unnecessarily. As a compromise, is there a possibility that his girlfriend could be added to the guest list at a later date if they are still together? If they are still together in a year's time, you should have had opportunity to get to know her by that point, so might feel differently about having her at your wedding.

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  • Mr David
    Curious January 2013 West Sussex
    Mr David ·
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    It sounds like you’re trying to balance your dream wedding with practical limitations, and that’s completely understandable. A three-day event in a game reserve is already a big commitment in terms of cost and planning, and wanting to keep the guest list to people you know well is reasonable. While it’s tough for your brother, setting boundaries for your big day is important to make sure it reflects what you truly want. If you’re looking for ways to keep everyone entertained during downtime or in between events, you could even explore fun activities or games through mobile platforms like https://pkslots.com.pk/, which can add enjoyment for guests without affecting your core plans. Ultimately, prioritizing your own vision for the wedding while communicating kindly is the best approach.

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  • Leoparker
    Dedicated July 2021 Mississippi
    Leoparker ·
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    You will take services on no plus one destination wedding services from above post because they provide best services.

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  • Harry
    South Carolina
    Harry ·
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