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Expert July 2023 Cornwall

Non-legal ceremony... should we sign the paper work before or after the wedding day?

Anonbride, 14 of February of 2022 at 14:23 Posted on Planning 0 6

We're having a non legal ceremony as my friend is officiating. Apparently this is quite normal, things like humanist celebrants or non licensed venues... so we need to go down to a registry office not to have a duplicate ceremony but just to sign the docs with two witnesses.

It seems like these appointments at registry offices are only available on select dates per month, and we can't find anything available in the couple of days either side wedding. So we're thinking this may have to be a couple of weeks or so away from the wedding date.

Would you do this before or after your ceremony? I can see pros and cons either way so interested to hear what people think!

6 replies

Latest activity by Anonbride, 16 of February of 2022 at 17:09
  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I would say before as then you know it is done and you don't have to think about it after your wedding but is really personal preference. I guess you will use your non legal date as you anniversary for celebrating etc
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  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    That's one of my thoughts... but then I worried will it take some of the excitement away from the day knowing we're technically married already? Equally it takes away the fear of being jilted at the alter though!!

    And absolutely - we'll be treating our wedding as our anniversary as it'll be the celebration and the time we say vows and exchange rings. We wanted it to be as close as possible for that reason, but that doesn't seem to be possible - treating the other day as just paperwork/admin.

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  • Jane
    Dedicated June 2022 Bristol
    Jane ·
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    I’d say before - whilst you might not consider yourself married until after the wedding, I think it would feel strange to have the wedding but not be legally married until a week or two later! I don’t think it would distract from the excitement of the wedding to already be married and it would be one less thing to worry about if it’s already out of the way. How does your FH feel?
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  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Hmm that's a good point - it might not feel so real if we're not legally married by the end of the day!

    FH is quite easy going about when. He's erring towards before but I think that's partly because he'd be quite happy to be legally married tomorrow haha - whereas I'd still like it to happen as close to the wedding as we can manage

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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I have a few friends who live in countries where the only legal wedding is a civil wedding, but they wanted a religious ceremony because of their faith. They all had their religious ceremonies after the civil one (in some cases, several days after) because they viewed the civil one as 'paperwork' that they wanted out of the way before their 'real' wedding.

    They all said that they felt they weren't 'really' married until they'd had the religious ceremony. So I don't think that doing the legal bit first would make your wedding day feel less special.

    Also, whichever day you 'feel' is your wedding day, legally, you are married on the day you have the legal wedding ceremony. Personally, I'd feel a bit odd becoming legally married a couple of weeks after my wedding. I'd want the bit that was most important to me to come last. But that's just the way my mind works!

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  • A
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    “The most important but comes last” - honestly that makes so much sense! Thank you for putting it like that ☺️
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