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Beginner June 2023

Not enthusiastic

ExpensivePurpleStationery55626, 25 November, 2021 at 02:44 Posted on Planning 0 2

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How do you handle your partners divorced parents who don't talk. Who just ignore each other. We had our child's first birthday party and we'll it was awful 😖 to say the least. And the first time my parents met his dad, step mom and half siblings. That was awkward no one seemed to get a long or even talk, my dad tired to interact with them bless him but got completely shut down. This has now got to the point where I have 0 interest in planning the wedding it feels awkward it's causing me sleepless night like tonight and my partner seems to be his way with his family or the highway. Just have no excitement over it all just feel like spending all that money to be on eggshells all day around my partners dad step mom and half siblings. Any ideas or advise welcome.

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Latest activity by JulioBress, 3 December, 2021 at 13:49

VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 25 November, 2021 at 09:17
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What a sad situation to be put in, I am sorry you feel this way. it is extremely difficult when you have family members like this and I can understand why you feel upset. As hard as it is you have to do what is right got you, it is your day. Have you told your partner how you feel? it may be difficult but he needs to know and he should be supporting you. I would ignore the behavior, on the day you will have lots of other people around and you should not let their behavior worry you, easier said than done I know, but please try and plan what you want, it is hard enough without trying to please others. My mum has been quite difficult and opinionated over our wedding and is judgey of my future in laws, despite only having met my future FIL for 5 minutes, but i just ignore it now as it was stressing me out and taking the fun away from planning. My MOH knows what she can be like and is aware that on the day she needs to steer me away from certain people and conversations, so talk to your bridal party and make sure they have your back. wishing you all the best.
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Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 25 November, 2021 at 09:36
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"my partner seems to be his way with his family or the highway."
The problem is not with your partner's family. The problem is with your partner.
If the problem were just his parents, I would be advising setting some boundaries, with consequences for breaking those boundaries. But if your partner is treating you like this when there is a conflict, you have a HUGE issue. Marriage is about learning to listen to the opposing point of view and coming up with ways to compromise. What that looks like will be different for each couple, but 'my way or the highway' should NEVER be the attitude.
I would pause all wedding planning until this is resolved. If you haven't already, I would really encourage you to get some pre-wedding counselling or to do a marriage prep course. Among other things, a good marriage prep course will help you look at ways of communicating and dealing with conflict. Once you and your partner are able to communicate and work well together, you will be able to come up with a way to handle difficult in-law dynamics together.
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