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Newbie Bride May 2021

Not inviting parents partners to wedding??

RomanticPurpleBridesmaid37365, 10 January 2021 at 14:36 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 8
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Hi!


We are supposed to be getting married at the start of a May so are planning on the basis of 15 people in the hope we can have at least this many.
My parents separated in my late 20’s and both remarried. Because I was an adult when they separated I don’t have any real relationship with their partners, but don’t have anything against them. Given the small guests numbers I would ideally like to invite my 2 aunts (mum and dads sisters) in place of their partners.
Do you think this is a good idea as it’s what I want (I have a good relationship with my aunts) or do you think my parents and their partners would be too annoyed?
As an added issue my dad actually left my mum for his new partner, and although this was 10 years ago, this would be the first occasion they would all be together. When the guest list was 100 I didn’t mind so much but with it possibly being very intimate the thought of the awkwardness keeps me awake at night haha!
All honest opinions welcomeSmiley smile

8 replies

Latest activity by April21Bride, 17 January 2021 at 09:13
  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride July 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    Personally I see nothing wrong with excluding partners - it is your wedding after all. Especially if numbers are restricted.


    Personally I’ve decided that if headcount remains at 15 my dad will no longer be invited. He’s not been a part of my life and I only invited him because of culture/my mum. If I only have 15 in my wedding I want it to be special. Good luck with your decisions.
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  • R
    Newbie Bride May 2021
    RomanticPurpleBridesmaid37365 ·
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    View quoted message
    Thank you for your reply. Best of luck with your wedding tooSmiley smile
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  • B
    Newbie Bride August 2022 Kent
    Becca_Summer22 ·
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    If you're only allowed 15, I think it's perfectly reasonable to choose only those you truly want there.

    I would just give an explanation - 'We'd love to have invited you however due to restrictions... blah, blah, blah'. They should understand if they're decent people.

    Good luck

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  • R
    Newbie Groom February 2021 Bedfordshire
    Robert546 ·
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    If you've not talked with them before. Then its better to talk with them before sending the invitation. Your plan to send them invitation will depend upon their attitude with you and how much they consider you in their lives.

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  • May(Be)21Bride
    Newbie Bride May 2021 West Yorkshire
    May(Be)21Bride ·
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    Hi Smiley smile
    I'm in a very similar position to you in terms of my parents and if I were being honest I wouldn't choose my parents' partners as part of my top 15 either. As you said they are only newly in my life and whilst they're lovely people, it's not like I couldn't imagine my wedding day without them. BUT I hinted as much to my mum a while ago and she implied that she wouldn't be okay with it.
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  • May(Be)21Bride
    Newbie Bride May 2021 West Yorkshire
    May(Be)21Bride ·
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    Sorry pressed reply before I'd finished!
    ...so yeah it depends on your parents and how they'd feel about it. For me, it boiled down to the fact that I knew my mum wouldn't be happy about it. So we're resigned to the fact that a wedding of 15 isn't doable for us. We have 3 siblings each and both our parents are remarried so that's 16 in total Smiley sad
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  • C
    Newbie Bride August 2023 Florida
    Carol ·
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    I think they will understand given that you're only pushing for 15 people max on your wedding day adding the current situation we have now. I guess it will all be fine.

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  • R
    Newbie Bride May 2021
    RomanticPurpleBridesmaid37365 ·
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    Hi everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. It’s definitely given me a lot to consider.


    Never thought I’d be really happy if my guest list could just get to 30!! Here’s hoping x
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