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Savvy June 2021 Mid Glamorgan

Not inviting partners?

Lovestoned21, 3 of April of 2021 at 08:49 Posted on Planning 0 6
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Hi everyone!



OK, so this may sound controversial, but it's just a thought I had. I live in Wales and it seems the wedding will be able to go ahead with 30 guests. Some really close friends and even possibly my uncles won't be able to attend because once we factor In the bridesmaids (5 of them) and their partners (3 have partners - 2 married and one long term relationship) and then the best men (3 and 2 have wives), as well as parents, my nan and siblings, there just isn't room on the list. I was thinking of asking the bridesmaids if their partners are bothered about going to the wedding and explain that my uncles and one of my good friends (who is also best friends with my MOJ) aren't on the list we did of 30 guests. The issue I have is that I'm quite blunt and logical in my thinking and I don't know if this sounds plain rude? We are inviting the wives of the best men regardless as I'm friends with them but my fiancé isn't particularly friendly with the husbands/partner of the bridesmaids. Also, that friend I mentioned who isn't on the 30 list has a husband - is it OK to not invite him? Just worried she will have no one to chat to when we are all having photos but then to invite him and not my MOH's husband would be weird. It's all politics isn't it! Any insights would be greatly appreciated - thanks in advance x

6 replies

Latest activity by Ben, 7 of May of 2021 at 13:05
  • L
    Savvy June 2021 Mid Glamorgan
    Lovestoned21 ·
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    I meant best friends with MOH, not MOJ!
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  • A
    Dedicated July 2022 Co Londonderry
    Ali312 ·
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    I think just mention it to them (rather than asking)- that you're very limited on numbers and that you'd love for them to come, but can't really fit in their partners. They should understand given the circumstances. I think I was told that I would, I mean I'd love to bring my partner, it's always more fun, but if they're a good friend I would come to the wedding without them and would still enjoy myself ?
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  • L
    Savvy June 2021 Mid Glamorgan
    Lovestoned21 ·
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    Thank you, Ali!


    I feel the same in that I'd still go and have a good time if it was me. That's a good idea, to mention it rather than outright asking them. Thank you ? x
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  • E
    Dedicated October 2022 East London
    Ebony ·
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    Hmmmm it's a difficult one. I'm also quite blunt and logical with my approach but there may be a few things to consider.
    Any good friend would understand and still want to be a big part of your day and
    It makes sense not to invite people both of you aren't close to but the bridesmaids may feel its unfair since they'll be doing bridal duties yet the partners of the grooms party just get to enjoy the day.
    Also, it may affect how you socialise with them after the wedding.It's an extremely difficult decision which only you can make. I'd also mention it instead of asking but they may not get the hint. Possibly no partners or all? Very difficult xx
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    Savvy
    HappyBrownCars12359 ·
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    I think people are more understanding than ever at the moment of things like this, but yes definitely consider the dynamics for the day and where you can try to ensure no one will be on their own as it were. I think as long as you stress you would ordinarily love to have them there, but are having to make some really difficult decisions and appreciate their support you can't do more than that! Hope it goes ok for you x

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  • L
    Savvy June 2021 Mid Glamorgan
    Lovestoned21 ·
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    Thanks for your responses!
    I actually bit the bullet and explained that there are people that have to be there that simply can't be if we invite everyone's partners. I worded it really delicately but to the point and everyone was so nice about it. They've embraced it and said it will be like a girls' night. I did feel awful but I feel so much more relaxed now knowing that my uncles and good friend can be there.
    Also we have started letting people know that we have to withdraw our invitation. This is probably the most awkward thing ever! But when we postponed our wedding twice last year, we told people the new date and that we aren't sure what the situation will be so that we will let them know closer to the time. People have been really understanding about this as well but it's not nice to do!x
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