Not inviting partners...

It sounds like you have thought about how your friends and their OHs would feel, which is half the battle when dealing with sticky guest list issues. How far are your friends having to travel for the wedding? I would probably be peeved if someone invited me to the day and my OH to the evening, if it meant that we would have to take separate cars and work out all sorts of complicated logistics. It also works both ways - if you feel you don't know the friends' OHs well enough to ask them to the day, they may not feel that they know you well enough to put themselves out with aforementioned complicated logistics and they may not come at all.

I would talk to your friends about it first and sound them out about how they feel. As they all know each other it's not like you have to invite their OH so that they have someone to sit with, but you should probably check what their expectations are before sending out any invitations. I think as long as I knew I wasn't the only one whose OH wasn't asked to the day, I'd feel OK about it. And as long as I was sure I'd know some of the other guests!

It is a tricky one but I would just speak to them about it and explain. I personally wouldn't be offended if I was invited to the day and my OH to the evening but I know everyone is different. I would be in the view of having a nice girly day and then having the OH's join us for the evening. It really is different for everyone, as I have learnt with my own invites!

Just speak to them, sounds like you're close so they will understand I am sure.

Your message sounds like you are mirroring a situation I had. I invited the girls to the day and their partners to the evening and just openly spoke to them about it and apologised but said I'd love their partners to come in the evening of they could. They were more than understanding, one partner came but the other two just had some girlie fun together so honestly I don't think you are doing the wrong thing as long as you communicate openly about it.

Hi

We are inviting mutual couple friends and then our other own friends we are only inviting their OHs to the evening. We both have close friends from school but neither of us really know their OHs that well so they won't be invited to the daytime. The same with cousins, we both have big families so are sticking to immediate family only inc cousins aunts and uncles. We arent inviting any of our friends/families children either, other than my younger brother and our nephews.

I think it depends on 1. Your budget.. can you afford to have them there? 2. Would your friends know anyone else if their OH not at the daytime?

We are quite lucky, my school friends all know each other so wouldn't be alone, same goes for my OHs own friends. If I thought someone would feel uncomfortable and wouldn't know anyone else then of course I would invite their OH as I would want them to enjoy the day and not feel awkward having to mingle with people they don't know at all.

I think just go with what you think, if they aren't bothered and you are not bothered then don't bother.

We both have work friends that we would like to invite to the day, they are all either married or in relationships. Inviting all of them and their other halves wasn't possible due to numbers and budget. We agreed that only couples that we were both friends with would be invited all day, all of the other partners would only be invited for the evening.

My work friends were absolutely fine with this, it's easier for them with childcare arrangements and means that they can have a girly day celebrating rather than worrying that their OH is okay and having fun. It also means that for us we are only inviting people who we really care about for the day. I have a list of people that I wold like to invite to the day, but at the moment are on the evening only / reserve day list, inviting all of our friends OHs would've pushed these people even further down the list which I didn't think was fair.

x

Invites always causes the biggest contention regardless!

I think it's fine to do but I would explain it to them as being limited on numbers means they are day guests and OH are evening. I think most people don't mind this as long as it's explained to them.

We chose to invite more friends then OH's unless we knew both as friends (other then people who wouldn't know anyone) and most people were fine with no plus ones. In the end most then had plus ones as we said we may have space please contact us so those which did had their OH attend. We put a little note in our FAQ bit to explain to everyone.

I agree with the other ladies that you should discuss it with your friends.

Personally, I wouldn't go without my husband and I wouldn't travel for just the evening party.

I think I know which post you are referring to and the recurring theme on that conversation is the fact that the lack of communication from the bride about the situation has confused matters. I think if you are open and honest about it to your friends they would be more than understanding, after all, they are your friends. Discuss it with them the next time you meet before you give out the invitations, I know having started writing my guest list that they can spiral badly out of control.

Personally I think if are you inviting a friend and they are married or living with their partner or are long term then I think you should invite the partner. However, I think if you talk to them and explain the reasons then I don't think it would be a huge problem. And I don't think I'd be overly offended if I was invited to a wedding and my fiancé just invited to the evening. It depends how strict your numbers and budget is, if you can afford to invite them then it's probably easier just to invite them.

But Ultimately its your day and you'll never be able to please everyone so just do what's right for you!