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HappyGreenDecor6593
Newbie Bride November 2021 Greater Manchester

Not wanting a micro-wedding/ elopement

HappyGreenDecor6593, 19 February 2021 at 11:28 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 9
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I don’t know if anyone else is feeling this way but with all the posts about embracing micro-wedding/ elopements have got me feeling down. If that’s what you and your OH want, then that’s great. But we supposed to be getting married in November after 10 years of being together and we want a big-blow out wedding. we understand all the ‘perks’ about having small weddings but it's just not what we want. we just wondered if anyone else is feeling this way or I'm being spoiled and should just be grateful to be getting married at all.

Smiley cry

9 replies

Latest activity by Stephanie, 22 February 2021 at 10:18
  • S
    Newbie Bride January 2023 East London
    Stephanie ·
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    Sorry to hear that you are unable to celebrate in the way that you and your partner have dream of. You aren't spoilt, there is something joyous about being able to affirm you your live with a big crowd of people that you love. I thing the trend behind embracing smaller wedding is to try and eliminate the pressure many feel to have large events that cost the earth.

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  • F
    Newbie Bride September 2021 Argyll
    Farmerswifetobe ·
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    I totally feel your pain - there are lots of reasons why a micro wedding just doesn’t really work for us, and it’s really important to us that we can celebrate with friends and family...our wedding is booked for 4th September, I have everything crossed that by the time November comes round you’ll be allowed the day you want xx
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  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride July 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    There is an article in stylist saying exactly this. It’s not wrong to feel this way- any real friend would allow you have your feelings. Especially those who’ve already had their big days (if that’s what they want).
    At the end of the day you are paying for it so should have the day you want.
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  • HappyGreenDecor6593
    Newbie Bride November 2021 Greater Manchester
    HappyGreenDecor6593 ·
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    View quoted message

    Oh my gosh! if I'd seen the artrical I wouldn't have posted on here!

    Thank you all for your kind words, I think it was just getting to me as so many friends have been saying how lucky we are to have a reason to have a small wedding and I certainly don't feel that way.

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  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride July 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    View quoted message
    Not a problem.


    Tell them to keep their opinions to themselves. Some couples are mourning the choice of deciding the type of wedding they want being taken away from them, some have already paid and want their money’s worth, some just want clarity so they can plan.
    Fact is any married person who says it’s great having an intimate wedding should be asked why they didn’t have one then... if they did have one remind them how lucky they had a choice in deciding the day they wanted.
    Personally, we are in the morning phase but won’t postpone as we want to try for kids ASAP (I’m 35 later this year) and want to be married first.
    My parents are mourning the fact their only daughter may get married without all our families being there.
    Yes we want to be married but the legal part is only one aspect. Having a day focused on your love is another equally valid part.
    My friend’s and family recognise the pain being forced to choose between having a big day with everyone I love around me and potentially missing out on having the children my fiancé and I have always spoken of is causing me so wouldn’t dare tell me just get on with it. They’ve taken the better route of saying I’m so sorry this is happening to you, we want to be there but if we can’t we are just happy you’ve found your love, whatever you both decide to do is the best thing for you... etc. This is far more helpful.
    Rant over.
    Good luck and hopefully we get good news on Monday. x
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  • Caitlin
    Newbie Bride August 2022 Central & Glasgow
    Caitlin ·
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    Totally agree with you. We’re hoping for 150, my hubby to be had a lot of friends and we want them all there. We have an agreement with our venue that if we can’t have 100 (AUG 22) we will postpone.
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  • E
    Curious Bride October 2022 East London
    Ebony ·
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    It's your day, you and your fiancé should have what you want and not have negative comments about wanting a big fat wedding. After the year we've all had I'd love to attend a buig wedding. Mine will be smallish (80 people) but there's nothing wrong with big weddings, this is usually the norm in other cultures, hell they don't even have a guestlist. Life's too short, have your wedding your way!
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  • E
    Newbie Bride June 2021
    ExpensivePinkConfetti58696 ·
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    Completely agree. We should have been married in August last year and postponed to June this year - currently not feeling at all hopeful. We wanted 100 Ish people had hired a 10 piece band as we are huge live music fans and the thought of a tiny wedding just makes me want to cry as having waited a very long time to meet my soul mate I feel cheated of all the fun stuff both before and what we had planned for the day

    At the moment we are hedging our bets till tomorrow holding next year with main suppliers for a party with a plan to still get married in June with whatever is permitted. It’s really heartbreaking as I don’t want a micro wedding but don’t feel I want to put it off another year

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  • R
    Rockstar Bride July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    It should be a personal choice - having a small wedding because you want it is one thing - having it forced on you by Covid is quite another, and you're entitled to be sad if your wedding either has to be reduced in size or delayed because of that.

    We'd planned a wedding of 30 and ended up getting married with 13. While I don't regret going ahead, and it was a very special day, I was still sad that we didn't get what we originally planned. But anyone who planned on getting married last year or this year either has to accept a delay or alterations in plans. Different couples will decide differently depending on their circumstances, but it's natural to be sad either way, because neither option is what you wanted.

    I do think it's important to own your choice though - I had some really nasty comments from someone who postponed their wedding to late 2021 on how 'unfair' it was that I got to get married last year. But there's nothing unfair about it - we just made a different choice.

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