Obstructive Vicars

I think that a vicar can refuse to marry anyone they don't want to.

From my understanding, you only have a legal right to marry in the parish in which one or both of you currently reside. If its a parish you used to live in, then its up to the vicar's discretion whether you can marry there. So, if you lived there previously but you or your family never attended the church or its functions, a traditionalist vicar might be of the opinion that you only want to "use" his church for pretty pictures, and would be within his rights to say no.

From what i understand even if you don't qualify a Vicar can still marry you but it depends on the Vicar, Its the same the other way around. I think if you dont go to sunday service or your parents etc didnt get married there i think they can say no.

try asking if you can go to sunday service there and agree to go up until your wedding, it might change the vicars mind.

Part of the reasoning behind some rules was to ensure that the very pretty Churches are not swamped by people all over the country wanting a wedding there, while the "not so pretty" ones never get a look in.

There are laws yes, but I think also some guidelines that may finally come down to each priest, I have shot weddings a some Churches for many years and have been used to certain things that cannot be done and then a new priest takes over and actively encourages what was once a no go area

Absolutely......I shot a wedding last Saturday where for decades all photography inside was totally banned. Restrictions now lifted (as long as you are sensible) ?...Conversely, my local church which was fairly open for photography has a new vicar who totally bans photography....even the signing of the register!!!

Peter

Without having all the info it's hard to say. You have a right to marry in the parish that you actually live in.

You say that you "lived" in this particular parish for 18 months? That indicates you do not have a right to marry there, you only have a right to marry where you live now. Have I understood this correctly?

There are exceptions, such as having been a regular worshipper and then moving away, or if your parents were regular worshippers, married there etc. From what you have said, it appears that you and your family do not meet the exceptional criteria either.

My recommendation would be to speak to the Vicar and if your heart is set on that church do everything you can to qualify - e.g. attend services every sunday for 6 months. Most churches state you have to have a connection to that church so either via grandparents or parents attending or you attending, but it is entirely up to the vicar. Probably quoting the law at them wouldn't help situations, I would suggest having a meeting with them to convince them you are serious about wanting to get married in a church and not just picking it because it's pretty.

I understand your frustration, I had a similar issue and looked in to in in great detail. As a regular attender of church (not the church in question) I thought this would help, but it didn't.

A vicar can refuse to marry someone but need good reasoning if you fall with in the remit of being able to marry there. To marry in a church you must reside in the parish (the second you reside in it you are eligible unless it is likely you will move out prior to the wedding and lying about this can cause them to cancel your wedding at very short notice) OR have been baptised or confirmed in the church OR your parents or grandparents were married in the church OR you currently regularly attend the church and have for a minimum of 6 months before booking the wedding. If you lived in the parish and then moved out you no longer have a right to marry in that church unless you still attend and if you used to attend but no longer do, again, you have lost your right, unless you still live in the parish.

There is one other way you can marry in the church and that is to live with someone who lives in the parish for two weeks- once you have lived with the for two weeks you can apply for a special licence from the L.A to marry in that parish, however they do not have to grant the license and rarely do.

The easiest way to marry in a church if you do not regularly attend the church is to marry at your parish church. If you do not like your parish church then you could see if they have 'daughter church', which is another church in the parish that the parish church has authority over, you can marry in that one instead. Or, if one of you has been baptised catholic or is willing to be, you could explore that option.

I'm pleased you are considering marrying in a church and sorry that you have had such difficulty. It is a legal, rather than religious issue though (oddly).

Oh, and unlike some of the other replies the vicar cannot use his (or her) discretion to marry you if you do not qualify under one of the rules I listed above. They can however make an application if you attend for a few weeks and make a commitment to attend for at least 6 months (usually at least up until the wedding) but can rescind the licence should you stop attending prior to the wedding.

The rules for marrying in church are here : http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/more-churches-to-choose-from.aspx

OP you are right. Living in the parish for 6 months, at any point in your life, means you DO qualify to Marry in that church. The vicar can't (and shouldn't) refuse to marry you unless there's another reason (eg you're previously divorced).

Go back to the vicar with a print out of this page and ask him to justify why he won't marry you there.

We married in church that we don't live in the parish of (because husband wanted to marry where he grew up). Our connection to the specific church was because he lived in boarding school in the parish, so didn't even live there full time but it was for 5 years during term time. I didn't even have to convince our vicar he just said it was a suitable qualifying reason.

I should also point out that you can also marry in any parish church either of your parents have lived in the parish of, for at least 6 months after you we're born too. So you don't ever need to have lived the parish yourself. The rules were expanded a few years ago and are very lenient now.

Whilst it is a suitable qualification, I'm afraid the vicar does have the right to refuse to marry anyone - that's their prerogative. Literally their church, their rules.

That said, as you do have a connection, it might be worth going back and trying again, especially if your reason for wanting to get married there is due to the link you feel with the church (which is what it sounds like) rather than anything more worldly. Just a thought.

The unfortunate fact is their is no such thing as a 'legal' right to marry in a church, just like any business or venue they can turn you down

their are guidelines but thats all they are its up to the vicar weather he marries you in THEIR church