October 2015 brides....

The night before will be wonderfully fun

I'm currently dealing with an absolute nightmare. I booked my TOG back in November; I don't have any family or friends that have gotten married in Northampton (or anywhere for 15 years, haha). So I had absolutely no idea what to look for, or to do, and no one to guide me. I thought my TOG was pretty great, and offered an amazing package. I should have known it was too good to be true. It turns out that he's been displaying other TOGs work as his own, and claiming to have been in the industry for over 30 years. Seems now like its all a lie

So, now I cannot stay with him, as I don't know what his work is like, and I have yet to find anyone who he actually shot for (so I don't even know if he'd turn up). I'm probably going to lose my deposit. Now I have to find a new TOG with a fairly limited budget, whilst finishing my dissertation, studying for final exams and working. And, if I manage to find one, I'll have to do an hour and 15 minute each way trip just to meet them.

Everyone keeps saying 'At least you found out now'. But it doesn't feel good! That's £100 of my hard-earned money that some jumped-up prick thinks it's ok to take. I thought I had it all sorted, and one of the most important things has just gone to pot.

I'm so frustrated and just needed to rant. Sorry.

The night before will be wonderfully fun

I'm currently dealing with an absolute nightmare. I booked my TOG back in November; I don't have any family or friends that have gotten married in Northampton (or anywhere for 15 years, haha). So I had absolutely no idea what to look for, or to do, and no one to guide me. I thought my TOG was pretty great, and offered an amazing package. I should have known it was too good to be true. It turns out that he's been displaying other TOGs work as his own, and claiming to have been in the industry for over 30 years. Seems now like its all a lie

So, now I cannot stay with him, as I don't know what his work is like, and I have yet to find anyone who he actually shot for (so I don't even know if he'd turn up). I'm probably going to lose my deposit. Now I have to find a new TOG with a fairly limited budget, whilst finishing my dissertation, studying for final exams and working. And, if I manage to find one, I'll have to do an hour and 15 minute each way trip just to meet them.

Everyone keeps saying 'At least you found out now'. But it doesn't feel good! That's £100 of my hard-earned money that some jumped-up prick thinks it's ok to take. I thought I had it all sorted, and one of the most important things has just gone to pot.

I'm so frustrated and just needed to rant. Sorry.

Morning girls

Sorry not been around - I'll catch up later

Our cake maker has let us down. Well, she's increased her prices a heck of a lot and because it was all done verbally, she's increased our price too so I've had to cancel it. I'm just going to buy one from M&S now. Too much hassle!

Work have cut all overtime so I am not just down to basic 16 hours. I work in a supermarket (very glam not!) so it's just over min wage, not good! I'm considering going back on permanent nightshift, don't really want to, but we need the £££

Also my mum has started buying crap I don't want - a garter?! She's insistent on this something borrowed/blue etc. I don't want any of it. She wants me to wear a pair of diamond earrings my father bought her - bearing in mind I don't talk to him, she doesn't either and they have been divorced for 15 years. Then she has bought this garter. I don't want it and think it;s really tacky! (sorry if anyone else is wearing one!)

Urgh!

Awful about your tog TheFutureMrsKay. I can't blame you for being frustrated. Is there anyway to go after him for the deposit? If you can show he's using someone else's work as his own surely that's fraudulent and would make any contract void? I don't know, I'm in no way legal minded but I know if it was me there would be no way I could let him get away with. I'm angry for you!

I'm trying to go after him. I've spoken to a few TOGs, and it turns out that he's a known fraud and has featured on photostealers. When I emailed him, he told me that I was being slanderous and that is highly illegal. But, if I didn't take it any further, then he wouldn't report me. I hate being bullied like that. He's completely in the wrong. It's just really difficult to know what the next move is.

Futuremrskay it's only slander if you're telling someone else. He is clearly a charlatan, you'd be able to go after your deposit with a small claim, however I'm guessing that's something you don't have the time or money for at the moment? I also don't know if you'd have to wait until he actually let you down on the wedding day to prove that he was a fake - the court may say there is nothing to prove he wouldn't turn up on the day. I'd definitely recommend seeking some legal advice or going to your local CAB office. It's not an area I'm familiar with, sorry couldn't be of more help

What a d!ck! Disgusting bullying tactics. I would tell him to report me. It would only uncover his lying, fraudulent self! Ugh. What a despicable human being.

Hey all,

Sorry to hear about your TOG situation TheFutureMrsKay - it's tough but perhaps you could ask him to provide people's details that could give you a recommendation?

Shame about the cake maker firsttimebride83! Did you lose any money? I'm sure the M&S cake will be great!

Update from me - I bought my beautiful shoes today and they had 10% discount too!

I also had my BMs with me and they got to try on their dresses. We were all unsure of what colour they were as I had ordered burgundy ones but they looked more purple. Turns out, they sent the wrong colour! The style and fit of the dresses are great but I have asked for an order of the actual ones to come through so that I can compare. More money spent but I will be able to a refund on the ones we don't want at least!

Also got my bridal underwear today so my outfit is pretty much set, yay!

I think I have decided on the MUA but I'm gonna have a trial soon to make up my mind fully.

Not much left to sort now!

You guys got any further?

xx

Good morning ladies

Sorry I wasn't around all last week, it's absolutely manic at work thanks to the new pension legislation!
I will catch properly later ... hope your all ok

xxx

Hi FutureMrsK

So sorry to hear about your TOG issues.

I don't know if this helps at all... I don't know your budget or anything, but have a look at my TOG - http://www.jinxphotography.co.uk/

He was recommended to me by a friend who used him at their wedding.

He was the 2nd TOG we met and we instantly liked him and his style and found his prices reasonable and know he's happy to travel. Obvs don't know if he'd be free or anything but worth a shot.

Hope you figure it out.

And i'd go to citizens advice or something over the threats made over slander on the other TOG.xx

Hi all,

Apologies for my absence. We are busy trying to get the house ready to put on the market as we are planning a move to Lincolnshire as my fiancé has a new job there and have spent most of the last couple of weeks getting the garden sorted and trying to get the house decluttered.

I will have a read through and catch up with everyone in a minute.

Our planning is going well. Going to be booking an appointment to sort out the dress alterations soon. Bridesmaids both like their dresses (a couple of alterations needed there too) and we've decided on them wearing blue converse with their dresses (to tie in the Doctor Who elements of the wedding).

My letters continue to get results, plus have had some success on Twitter requesting messages of good wishes. Recently received messages from John Challis and Sue Holderness who were Boycie and Marlene in Only Fools and Horses :-)

Can't believe it's now less than 6 months till the big day. Can't wait :-)

Hi Ladies,

Hope everyone is well, theres a few parts i need to catch up on but currently recovering from the 10k obstacle course I did yesterday!

I’ll read back and reply when my joints and muscles stop hurting haha!

Apologies if I miss anyone - there's been a lot of discussions while I was awol...

Cat - That's good news about the shoes and final bits of your outfit. Sounds like the bridesmaid dresses will soon be sorted too which is great.

TheFutureMrsKay - your TOG situation sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Hope that it is looking like getting sorted.

Lui - Your bridal party gifts sounds great. I really need to start thinking about those.

MrsFRtobe - So very sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like it will be a very emotional day next week and I hope it goes as well as it can. You're right that it is situations like these that put everything into perspective.

rachhj33 - Welcome to the October group - hope your planning is going well.

AlmostMrsS - It sounds like your planning is going very well. You have got so much organised - it makes me feel like I'vee hardly started!

Sparkly Bear - Your favours look great.

We're hoping to get our invitations printed up this week and then in the post by the end of the month. Will flash the final invite once they are printed.

Update to the TOG situation:

Once I get a bit more free time (it will have to wait until May, unfortunately) I will be in touch with Trading Standards and CAB to see what they can do.

In the mean time, I've just been annoying the TOG. I've sent quite a few emails, and also been a general pain. He only really advertises on the Facebook pages; I've been commenting on all his posts with website links that show he had been using other people's images. I have no shame! Haha. I just don't want anyone else to go through this with him.

I have found a new photographer (maybe). It's a guy/girl team who are branching into wedding photography (they've done 8 weddings so far). They're only 20, but seem really nice and enthusiastic and, from the pictures I've seen, just our style. My mum is going to meet with them tomorrow, and vet them for me (as I can't go there until May, and I'm keen to know if I'm looking in the right place). This is what mums are for! Hahaha. And they'll do full day photography and videography for £800. Hopefully they'll be the ones, as then it's not too much more for our budget to bear.

Thank you for all your help and advice; it's so good to talk to people who understand. On a plus side, OH has seen how stressed it has made me, so is taking on a day trip in the sun (hopefully) to Cambridge tomorrow, for a day of walking, relaxing, drinks and nice food

Ladies I can't keep up with you all! I have an assignment due at uni next week then an exam on 7th May so I'm waaaaay behind on these posts!

LMP my hen weekend is the weekend before August bank holiday, can't wait.

I went to a wedding last weekend and it got me very excited for October! And my friend has paid towards me having my make up done as I was stressing over the cost of it so that's another thing ticked off the list. Also started decorating jars for my centrepieces at the weekend xx

Ive just had the call! my dress has arrived! I'm going to try it on tomorrow. although having a sad time with issues with a friend, see my earlier post. I'm sure once i try it on i will be excited again.

Good morning ladies
I hope your all ok today. I've started to receive some RSVP's back now, it's very exciting!!
Right I'm going to attempt to catch up properly but I'll apologise in advance if I miss anyone...

AnnaMolly - how are your plans coming along now? Have you managed to sort out your flowers...
It's nice when your at the buying shoes/veil stage, I want to do that again!

CatD - glad to hear your happier with your flowers now
I did have my MUA booked but that's all gone down the drain now so I'm back to square one, but I would definitely not leave it 8-10 weeks before the wedding!
Yay for getting shoes that are 10% off, love a bargain! Hope you get your BM dresses sorted ok ... will we get to see a flash :p

firsttimebride - sorry to hear your cake maker has let you down if it's any consolation one of my friends had an M&S cake and it was lovely!
Have you talked to your mum about the things she is buying/arranging for you? It might be that's she's just excited and is getting a bit carried away...

TheFutureMrsKay - Isn't it amazing how many wedding emails you end up with? I was drowning in them last week!
You sound so organised, I wish I could borrow you for some help!! May I ask where you got the inflatable guitars from? I'm after some for the heavy metal part of my reception
Good luck for your burlesque photo shoot, I've heard their quite fun.
Ooh are you going to flash your bag? I still haven't chosen one yet =/
If your still looking for a veil I highly recommend The Wedding Veil Shop, they are so helpful and my veil is lovely. Plus it was only £70 and I think it's very detailed
Your thank you gifts sound lovely, and your hen do sounds like great fun! I have no clue what I'll be doing, it's all being kept secret ... not going to lie this worries me a lot!
I'm really sorry to hear your having such horrible issues with your TOG. I agree that you should speak to Citizens Advice or Trading Standards, especially if he is a known fraudster. In Wiltshire we have something called the Whitewed Directory and it basically contains details of every company/supplier who have being given this certificate which proves they are professional and good people to do business with. Do you have anything like that which you can look at?

LeighB3 - that's really nice of your friend to pay for your MUA
How are your centrepieces coming along?

Lui - did you want to PM me your email address? I'll send you the music list over
How are you getting on with all the smaller stuff...
Love your thank you gifts btw!

MrsFRtobe - I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, have some weird Internet hugs xx
Lovely to hear your dress has arrived, enjoy trying it on again

Rebeccafcr - I wouldn't say you need to have 6 inches off your hair at all! If you did it would be the same length as mine and mine is too short to curl properly.

Stephied9384 - your centrepieces sound lovely I think having 2 MUA's for 6 people sounds like a wise idea!

Love and hugs to all
xxxxxx

Hiya,

Just quickly before I start work! I did send it, but I dont know if it sent to you. I'll try sending it again but I think im not doing it right some how lol!!

Might have to get you to PM me and drop you a balnk email hahah

Hello all. Met with a florist on Friday who was lovely and I think can do exactly what I want. Just waiting for her to confirm prices and hopefully get her booked up.

My washing machine has decided it's had enough this week so I have to replace that instead of buying my shoes this month which is a bit of a bummer. Still going to get my veil though. I just need to 100% on what I want. I can't decide on the length to get!

How exciting that your dress is in MrsFRtobe! I think I've probably got another 2 months to wait until mine comes in.

Ok so now I have finally got some movement back in my arms, I shall catch up with you guys!! Sorry if I miss anyone out.

Futuremrsk – did you sort your tog out? I read about it in the main section but became so busy and just didn’t have a chance to reply! I would deffo get out and walk away from it now while you can. You don’t need that stress.

***Updated**

Just noticed you got it sorted! That’s awesome! What does your mum think of the couple? Glad you managed to sort something out. I would definitely let others know that he is a charlatan. Can’t just prey on people during a time like this!

Mrswatkinstobe – Yey for the letters and also the converse!! Such a fab idea! Have you flashed your bridesmaid dresses? Were they the red/burgundy ones? Trying to remember from such awhile ago!

LeighB3 – Ohhh do you know your hen do? Mines the first weekend of August!! Can’t wait for it now! That’s so lovely that your friend is paying for that.

MrsFRtobe – YEY!!! Bet your excited to see the dress again!! I bet your excited!!

LMP – thank you lovely!! Just waiting on the prints to come through. I’ve got 21 more invites to complete before handing them out. Its so hard as i have a lot of training at work at the moment and also going down south to see H2B family and hand out their invites! I have my hair trial tonight and a make up one shortly. I got my veil from my brothers girlfriend the other day and its beautiful. In may when everything has calmed down, I’m going to decorate the skulls and start building the centrepieces so putting the flowers together. I’m going to do this at my parents as I just have more room there and I dont have a needy cat who needs my attention or to sit on my lap every 5 seconds when im working on wedding stuff. I’ve PM’d you my email address, let me know if you don’t get it and I’ll just create a throw away one so that I can post it on here. (its not you ladies but the rest of the internet im worried about).

Annamolly – YEYYYYYY for the flowers!! Oh no, it does seem that time where everything wants to go wrong. You make money for one thing and then another thing thats more important packs up! Nothing happens when you have the money to cover it all. Always the blooming way!!

AnnaMolly, I'm glad to hear you found someone who can do your flowers, I hope that all works out
I had the same problem when trying to pick my veil. I couldn't decide what length would look best, so in the need I bought some really really cheap netting and cut it to different lengths and tried it with my dress ?

Lui I haven't received any messages =/
Sounds like you've been really busy, but trust me once that last invite is done you'll feel loads better
Ooh do we get a veil flash soon?
Postponing things till May sounds wise, you don't want to run yourself into the ground!

Thats strange LMP, its ok i created a throw away email account if you’re able to email it to **************@*******.**.** that would be awesome! Thank you!

I will definitely flash the veil and the first hair trial later or tomorrow depending on what tine I get home later! The veil is beautiful though it’s a cathedral length one with sparkles on it.

So busy, but these months normally are for me with training, birthdays and visits. Knowing my luck if i don’t slow down I would get sick and I’m finally cold free from like feb when i was sick almost the whole month hahaha!

p.s. awesome trick trying to figure out the veil.

Hiya,

I've tried emailing you on the above email address and I had a delivery failure notice come through saying it was invalid =/
Your veil sounds gorgeous, hope your hair trial goes well

Try and not over do it!

Lol thanks but I didn't half look daft with netting sticking out everywhere ... ?

Ah that’s my fault, thought it was still giving out hotmail ones but its **************@*******.***, hahaha should really take some notice.

Thanks lovely! I’ve got my bridesmaids having their too, I’m a bit torn on what to hair in their hair as I have two things so definitely will be hitting you ladies up for options on that!

Haha I imagine you having wild netting everywhere!?

All done
Hopefully that'll be of some help ... but no laughing at the love songs tab!

Ah just take lots of pictures and we'll happily supply the opinions ?

Hm yes it was quite a sight, my MOH was in absolute stitches ... naturally we decided the best time to do it was when we were drunk ?

I fell straight on to the rock metal page and loved everything about it, also half the music for everyone!! Some of the songs I had completely forgotten about!

Love the do not play section too!! Completely agree with all of them! I can understand why you wouldn’t want them. Such a good mix! Kudos on the work lovely!!

I will indeed take lots of photos, will have to put some makeup on my face hahaha! Dont want to scare you poor ladies!

Haha drink is the best way to decide most things i believe. I’m sure i made alot of great life decisions when i was younger this way haha!

So, i had my 1st try on of my dress today...if fits perfectly, so very little alterations I've been having a rough time recently as my previous posts say, but this has really cheered me up. Ill be wearing the illusion jacket throughout but have the option to remove, probably once I'm hot and sweaty on the dance floor

Im in love with it, can't wit until october to wear it all day!!!

MrsFRtobe, your dress is beautiful! Im glad its cheered you up, cant wait till july (fingers crossed) when mine comes in.

MrsFRtobe - that is a beautiful dress. The illusions top is very pretty. I am hoping to have a similar panel like your illusions top but I am having longer sleeves to the just above my elbow. Bring on June!

MrsFRtobe- your dress is lovely it's so exciting that it's coming around so quickly!

LMP- I bought all my inflatables off of eBay. 4 guitars for £2.68, and microphones for about a £1 each. I can upload links if that helps; ebay has been my god send for this wedding!

Seems like everyone has had a lovely weekend! My mum met with the potential TOG and she said I'd be mad not to sign him. She said he has a plan for a surprise for us on the day that she can't tell us about, and his work was really great and that the videographer (it's a partnership) was really friendly too. So I think we're on to a winner! Pretty happy about it

Morning ladies...

Lui - I'm glad you liked the music, I was worried you were gonna laugh at me ?
I will point out that some of the music for everyone is aimed at my 3 year old niece! So pleased I could help
You won't scare us lot ... if wedding planning hasn't scared us nothing will :p
I do believe your right, most of life's decisions are easier when alcohol assists!

MrsFRtobe - your dress is absolutely gorgeous! I love the illusion jacket

TheFutureMrsKay - would you mind sending me the links hun? I'd be ever so grateful I think eBay is probably the only place I didn't think of!
So glad you have sorted out your TOG now, and having a VOG work with him is great you must be really chuffed ... I wonder what the surprise is though ...

Love and hugs to all
xxx

MrsFRtobe - your dress is stunning and the jacket is awesome! Always wondered how that worked but now I know! It is such a beautiful dress!

lmp - hahaha you wait my lovely! Haha! I've got a few pictures but I'll put them on later as I'm on my way to a conference at the moment. They are rough as we are going to have a few more trials to get it right, but with the idea and what I saw I loved it!!

I showed Mr Lui and he was impressed and said your spreadsheet must of been a lot of hard work! I was like yup and we have to do something similar, he was not impressed hahaha!

Ill be back in touch ladies after the conference! X