Oh dear - no dress for ATB!

With this being such a common issue I can't understand why more shops don't have larger sizes. Much easier to clamp a smaller girl into a larger dress than to squeeze a larger girl into a smaller dress. Not at all helpful I know, but most the dresses I tried on in my bridal shop were a 16 and I could still get the idea of how it would look.

Was that definitely the only shop? Could you find any that even if they dont stock your exact size have closervones? My friend is a size 20 and managed to try a few 18s on. Or could any shops order the sample in if you have found a particular one? Not sure about how sizing works but when I enquired about a design theybdidnt stock it would have been £30 to order it in. If I was to have bought it that price wouldbhave been deducted.

That is a bummer.

Why don't you arrange to visit one in West Yorks when you visit in August?

Yeah I'd not mind if they were slightly too small, but a 10 is pushing it. Saying that the skirt part of the dress actually fitted, it just didn't do up at the back. That made me think if I got it ordered in my size would it be huuuuge since that sample had actually fitted? The dress was unflattering, I didn't know if it would look better or worse in my size!

That actually did cross my mind! Know what any stragglers on Sunday morning will be up to!

Exactly! There are a couple of shops in the Wakefield area.

I feel you, man.

I was a size 20 when I went dress shopping; the dress I ended up buying was a sample size 14 in the shop and a zip / button back which didn't do up (even nearly), but I still went ahead and ordered it and- boy I'm glad I did! I think what the shop lady meant was that even if you try a dress on in your size or thereabouts, it's not fitted to your personal measurements so you can't tell anyway what the final product will look like. You could be a size 10 with big tits and no arse, or vice versa and need to have the sides / underarms / bust taken in for it to 'fit'. Do you know what I mean?

And you don't need to worry about being 'flamed' by skinny brides...I don't think they'd have a case here! It's an entirely justifiable point, certainly backed up by personal experience; of all the bridal shops I visited about 80% of the dress samples were up to size 14-16 tops. It doesn't seem very fair!

Hmm, are you sure no other shops have any bigger sizes? A couple of the shops I went to have samples that were 16-18, and I don't think I saw any samples smaller than a 12 - they have to be able to cater to both large and small, so opt for something in the middle.

I've ended up in a dress I never tried on before buying, but I think if you know what shape of dress suits you you should be able to buy based on an ill-fitting sample. It just makes it difficult to have that moment of 'the one' when you're squished in and clamped. I feel you pain, it's not a fun thing to do, but it's like that for so many brides.

Thanks all. Skeptical - so did you order it in a 20 and they've taken it in since you've lost weight? I know what you mean but that any dress will need altered to me but I don't even know what styles will be flattering, and without trying them on properly, I'll never find out! Also there have been heckles raised here before by slim brides when the issue of curvy brides has been brought up! So now the less said about it the better. No one was right or wrong, and I can see their point that it's not fair that some people's opinion is 'real' women have curves.

The nicest dress I've seen so far from BHS - and goes up to a 22 praise the lord!! If I can locate a shop that stocks it then I'll be going to try it on! AND less than half the price of the others I've been looking at!

The shop had a token couple in a 16 - I didn't like them so didn't try them on. Yep that's the problem, I don't know what shape will suit, hence why I was looking forward to trying on different ones - then I may have ended up ordering similar when only seeing a sample, that would have been fine - as you say!

ATB, I defo recommend BHS dresses, the base dress of mine was from there and it's high quality. I did order 1 size up to fit my bust, but for the most part it was true to my size, and they're lace-up (i think they all are..).

Which dress is it you like? If you can't find it to try on, why not order it, try it on at home, and then return it if it's not right? That's what I did, or planned to do anyways.

Actually, they ordered me a 22 (The woman in the shop told me in hushed, horrified tones, thinking I'd be mortified...I didn't care!)

And yep- they're taking it in about 3 inches around the waist / bust. ? Got my first fitting on 19th July.

The smallest dress I was able to try on was a 14, but most I tried were around 16-18. Lace up backs are much more forgiving in terms of trying-on-ness (you probably know that already- you mentioned the dreaded 'panel'!!)

Waaa! When I got a bridesmaid dress the last time the woman measured me then pointed to the size she was ordering in her book, she obviously thought horrified hushed tone wasn't sufficient enough!!!

Yes I think I may do that, then I'll want it altered. I don't want strapless, but in one review it says that it comes with straps that are removable but not shown in the pic. I'm not even sure if they'd do, I'd want more coverage of lace round the top, even a boat neckline from lace (hoping the 3 foot they'd have to cut off the bottom would be able to be turned into a 'top' for the dress)

If I go for a BHS dress then have it 're made' to suit me it will be called a Venart dress, you know that?!

http://www.bhs.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=34096&storeId=13077&productId=7851760&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=471149&parent_categoryId=471109&pageSize=40&refinements=category~[471562|471149]&noOfRefinements=1

I can completely feel your pain with this one. (Saying that, the shop I went to did have lots of dresses that went up to a lot bigger than a 22 but the ones I liked were in size 12) I'm a size 18 and ordered one that I've only ever been able to try on in a size 12 because I'd pretty much fallen in love with it before I went to the shop and the lady was adamant it would fit me in the same way another A-Line dress I tried on had fitted. However, I am completely petrified that it will look horrible and that is a very nerve-wracking position to be in so I completely understand how you feel. The only images I've got of me in it in my head are of my back hanging out and my belly sticking out! I am just hoping I finally get to have my 'this is the one' moment when it comes in to the shop in my size!

I've seen some beautiful dresses in BHS myself actually but I only saw them after i'd bought mine, otherwise I may have gone for that option too!

Emma

😄 It's what all the cool kids are doing!

In all seriousness, though, I don't know why more people don't do it. It's not costing me very much at all to do the alterations with a local seamstress. I don't have the stress/expense of having a dress made from scratch, and I actually liked the BHS dress on its own, so even if the alterations didn't work out it would have been fine. I'm so excited about my fitting tomorrow - should be the last one!! But back to you, there's absolutely no harm in ordering a BHS dress or two and returning them if they don't look good. Free returns and all that! That dress is gorgeous, though. I also really like this one: http://www.bhs.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=34096&storeId=13077&productId=5312773&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=471149&parent_categoryId=471109&pageSize=40&refinements=category~[471562|471149]&noOfRefinements=1

You should be able to 'match' a lace to create a more modest chest and sleeves.

I'm so excited for you to start getting stuck in to all this stuff, it's something that should be fun and amazing and exciting, not dreadful and depressing. So just forget about those rubbish sample sizes, you're going to look fab 😃

If you're going to be in the Wakefield area then you'll probably only be about 40 minutes from Boroughbridge. If you don't mind the travel, I got my dress from a fab shop there called Curvy Bridal (specialising in curvier brides although catering for all!). They were brilliant. It was the 10th shop that I went to and they didn't even let me choose a dress to try on - they asked about my wedding, looked at my shape and asked about what styles I was leaning towards so far. They went and chose the dresses for me to try and after 9 other shops, the first one they picked was perfect! I'd definitely recommend a visit if it's not too far.

This happened to me too! I was a size 10/12 when I went to try on dresses and there were a few that were touch and go for me - what a joke, just when you are trying to have a relaxing, enjoyable and magical day. When I went to the shops it really had not occurred to me that I would have any problems as I know I am on the slimmer side of things, but the variation is massive! Some I had bulldog clips all up my back, others I had a panic getting over my hips! I don;t know why shops cannot stock a common side like a 14 and then a larger size, can they really not have in two samples of each dress?

xxx

This is gorgeous!

ATB the bottom the dress is stunning, imagine the swishyness! You must order it and try it on and report back.

I'm a size 16, I went into one shop and was basically told nothing would fit me so it wasnt really worth trying anything on. You would think they might be nicer as they wanted me to buy something.

I saw this on facebook the other day and thought how sad, especially as they are Scotlands only plus sized specialist! If you want to drop me a line and let me know which dress you are interested in I could see if I have it in stock? I know its a bit of a trip for you but I currently have brides from Liverpool down to Southampton who would happily recommend the shop.

Every single sample gown in the shop is a size 16+, with the majority being a size 20 and over as often a size 16 gown will only fit a large 12/small 14. If you want to see the range of dresses I currently have, or soon to come in please do visit the website

☹️ That's not good news! Would you be able to get in there before they close and just try on everything you can, that way you'll have an idea of what style suits and if you find one you fall in love with it should be pretty easy to find another stockist and order from them. The shop I found my dress in was one of the few locally that stocked lots of plus size samples so I got to try on a good range and they're now closing down, making me even more glad that I got mine secondhand in the end(it was discontinued and the sample was just a tad too small but I found a lovely woman selling hers in the next size up).

When I had a little google to see which shop it might be I found this one that say they stock a lot of plus size samples but are not just plus size: http://www.the-weddingstore.co.uk and it says it's just outside Glasgow so might be worth a visit.

Unbelievable! This was exactly my attitude when it came to dress shopping. "I am potentially going to spend a significant amount of money in your shop; you better be DAMN nice to me if you want it!"

Some women are other women's worst enemy. What happened to sisterhood? Some of us are such stone-cold bitches. It makes me furious. God knows it's hard enough putting up with all the crap the patriarchy lobs at us without other women beating us down as well! *feminist rant over*

Hope you got something sorted! ?

Thanks Embrace, it was one of your posts that made me check their website, I wasn't planning on dress shopping for a good while yet, that's when I saw the news. All the sample dresses they have left for sale are ok - none are really what I'm after, but then again, I have heard plenty of times that the dream dress is not what you thought it would be, hence why I wanted to try some! I really have no clue what will suit me. Unfortunately the only day I'm free is a Sunday, and they are closed. ☹️

Thanks everyone for your support/advice. The only dress I've seen that I really love is the BHS one, so will order it to try. It may be the one and I won't have to go through any more sh*tty shop experiences, but to be honest I knew it would be like this!

It's really rubbish how many of the shops don't cater to a realistic range of sizes for ladies large and small. I have got my lovely lovely plus size dress from Embrace and can highly recommend them but obviously Peterborough is quite a long way from Scotland! Before I found embrace I tried other shops and some were better than others. Some did have dresses in the 18+ size range although obviously they only have one sample of each dress so if the one you love is a 10 then you can't try it on, but if they have larger sizes in other dresses you can at least get an idea of styles to suit you and possibly have a sample ordered in to try on. On veromia's website they claim 2 bridal shops in edinburgh stock the Sonsie range (18+) but Callista and Sincerity Plus don't seem to have any stockists at all in Scotland! Are ladies in scotland skinnier than average?!

There's nothing worse than feeling like a big fat flump when you want to feel like a million dollars trying on the dress of your dreams. I hope you can find a better shop and a lovely dress.

I had this problem ATB, but there are places. If it helps this is what I did....

Made a list of all shops in a 40 mile radius and put them in distance order.

Found designers online I liked.

Phoned all shops or emailed to ask them specifically how many samples they had in my size and what they were.

I then picked shops to visit based on how many they had/ what tey were / how far away they were.

I visited a few but nothing I fell in love with so I bit the bullet and travelled 5 hours to Leeds to go to The Big Day https://www.thebigdayuk.com/index.html they were amazing . I made a weekend of it and I must have tried what felt like 30 dresses.

I know it sounds made but I did all f it because I was determined to not have a typical fat girls dress!

I fell in love with Ian Stuart dresses... They are te only Uk stockists of plus I've Ian Stuart so I would not have settled until I traveled there to try one. I tried 5

I definitely would advise you to go there if you can and are in the area.

Good luck finding the one... If you need any help you know where I am!

Thank you so much for your kind words Kat - the cheques in the post ?

On a serious note though for all you lovely ladies who are a 16 and above as Bea said sometimes a plan of action is required. Many many shops now do carry what they call a plus sized range. However, they may make the mistake that I did when first purchasing for the shop, and forget that wedding dresses come up small. Others will tell you on the phone that they do carry a plus sized range for you to travel hours and find they have 3 dresses and they are all 16/18's. I dont even class a dress as plus sized until it reaches a size 30 as that is often when extra charges start to kick in.

So therefore to save you some miles, and feeling completed deflated when you get there, ask them what they stock, how many gowns they have and what sizes they are. If they start talking size 16 remember in some labels this will be no more than a size 12. Also check what size the dresses go up to as some labels stop at a UK 22 and it doesnt always seem obvious why they dont do a bigger size in that particular design.

It is possible to look amazing regardless of your size. This is one of my lovely brides recently who looked amazing in pale pink.

I have also had this problem being a size 18-20 when I first tried on dresses. I have since lost almost 2 stone and now a size 16 but would like to be a size 12 for my big day next year. I just want to try a dress on in my size so that I know the shape will look right...it's so frustrating when shops only stock small sizes and you have to squeeze in to them!

Embrace, I have just looked on your website and seen that you stock Pronovias! Do you have the Pergola in a plus size...if so I would be willing to travel miles to try it on as no where near me stocks it in a size bigger than a 10!

Hi Sazzle,I am shortly to become the UKs first stocking of Pronovias in plus sizes and absolutely thrilled about it. The gowns are due in this September and yes, every single one of them will be in a size 18 and over. Ive had a look at the Pergola and Im afraid I dont have that style as im sure they havent carried that over to this season but both Lavens and Occanto have sleeves and the majority of the other styles have embroidered yokes, some of them detachable. Ive also ordered my new range of Justin Alexander gowns for delivery in September and they are a very similar style and price range to Pronovias. Unfortunately I cant post photos of them as they havent been released to the general public yet but I can promise you they are something rather special.

A little taste of Pronovias loveliness....