Hi guys, sorry but OH's family are really P*****g me off now and this is the only place I can let off steam. I've had a whole week of it off them - sorry but this is a bit long.
I'll start with the FPIL.
Bit of background. FPIL are extremely hard to please. They are also quite well off (self-made) and have a nasty habit of looking down on people who they deem as working class of chavvy (this really annoys me because they both came from extremely poor working class backgrounds, so they need to get a grip). They aways think they are right and think that because they are 'the parents' that we should do as they say.
When we first got engaged, FPIL sat us both down and gave us a speech about how they felt (and I quote) "it was up to the bride and the brides' mother to organise the wedding so they would stay out of it, but if we needed their help, all we had to do is ask". OH and I were very surprised to hear this speech and were also very pleased, because FPIL usually like to call the shots. So, OH and I have gone off and organised the wedding that WE want.
We live in the cotswolds, we absolutely love it here and want to get married here, so we have booked Ellenborough Park in Cheltenham for our wedding. When we got engaged we told everyone we were having a COTSWOLDS WEDDING.
FPIL Tantrum No.1
FPIL live in a village in Warwickshire and OH's sister got married in a nice hotel just round the corner from their house. OH and I have been to about 5 weddings there so it's not special enough, we hate the town we grew up in and it is the LAST place we would get hitched. FFIL demanded to know why we weren't getting married there and didn't we realise that getting married in the cotswolds was totally self-centred of us because everyone would have to travel and it will be 'terribly inconvenient for everyone'. OH's family are all in Scotland and my family and friends are all over the UK/world so everyone will have to travel - getting married at that hotel would only be convenient for them. They still can't (won't) understand why we don't wanto to get married there!!
FPIL Tantrum No.2
We showed them round Ellenborough Park and FFIL spent the whole appointment slagging off the venue, being extremely rude to our lovely wedding planner and generally talking to her as if she is a complete idiot. I was so embarrassed and angry I had to apologise to her afterwards. OH also had a go at his dad for this.
FPIL Tantrum No.3
On the day of our engagement party, FPIL had a massive row with OH because we were leaving them out of the wedding plans - OH reminded them of the speech they gave at the beginning of our engagement saying that they would stay out of it unless we asked them for help. TBH they are so used to bossing people about, I don't think they can cope with the fact that we haven't asked them for help.
FPIL Tantrum No.4 (this week)
You may have seen my thread posted earlier this week asking for advice from Scottish hitchers on English people wearing kilts. Again, OH (who is Scottish) said right from the beginning of our engagement back in April that he wanted all of his English ushers to wear kilts - OH will wear the family Macleod Clan tartan but the ushers will wear a generic non-clan kilt. For some unknown reason after 7 months of knowing this, OH's parents have suddenly turned round to him and gone on a massive rant about how English people shouldn't wear kilts etc. Thanks to you hitchers and your feedback on this, OH has turned round to his parents and told them to "kiss his hairy Scottish A**!!"
FPIL Tantrum No.5 (also this week)
The hotel we are getting married in is a 5 star jobby, so the cheapest rooms start at £185. We realise that this is a bit pricey, but we let all of our family and wedding party know the prices as soon we booked it so that they were prepared (15 months notice!). My parents' business went bankrupt about 15 years ago and they lost everything, so they don't have much money - however, both parents are already saving up to spend two nights at EP and are totally excited at the prospect of spending a gorgeous weekend at a fabulous hotel in the cotswolds for their daughter's wedding. OH's parents (who are loaded) have totally kicked off about the cost of the rooms! OH's sister also has 4 kids (!!) and originally EP didn't have any family rooms (cue comment from FFIL - "you didn't think about your sister when you booked this hotel did you?!" No we didn't!). Because of this, EP have gone to the bother of changing one of the larger, more expensive rooms into a family room and only charging £185 - which for a luxury 5 star hotel is a bargain for 6 people if you ask me. Despite all this hassle, OH's sister and parents are still b*tch*ng off that £185 for a family room is far too expensive and that FFIL "has no choice but to book a luxury cottage for all 8 of them to stay in". Considering that luxury cottages of this size start from £1500 a week to hire, this is hardly a saving is it??? OH is sooooo P******d off because we have spent ages negotiating with EP to sort this problem out and they have just thrown it back in our faces.
FPIL Tantrum No.6 (this week)
Following the accommodation argument, FPIL then informed us that they and OH's sister would actually be driving up to Cheltenham on the morning of the wedding. This has totally P*****d us both off for two reasons: 1) The night before the wedding, we have booked out the upstairs of a restaurant to have a big pre-wedding meal because so many people are travelling long distances to come to our wedding - again we told everyone this 14 months in advance of our wedding! 2) OH's sister's daughter is a BM and two of her sons are page boys - we get married at 1.30pm and I NEED them there in the morning to get ready (7 bridesmaids and 2 page boys). OH's sister is so disorganised and she is late for everything. Driving up on the morning of the wedding just won't work! Again, they fail to see why we are not happy about this.
OH's Sister's Tantrum (this week)
Her daughter is one of seven BM's so as you can imagine, getting all 7 of them together at the same time is a nightmare. Last saturday I went BM dress shopping and invited FMIL because she was feeling left out, OH's sister (who couldn't come) and I expected 3 other BM's to turn up. To cut a long story short, 2 BM's didn't turn up and one was late. OH sister's daughter picked a beautiful BM dress which we all loved. I then arranged for 2 BM's to try them on Sunday morning. Everyone loved them, the shop could do matching dresses for all 7 bridesmaids over all 3 age groups and did me a good price so I put a deposit down. I didn't expect to find the BM dresses on one trip so I had organised a second trip on 8th December which OH's sister could make. I got a phonecall from FMIL warning that OH's sister was not happy because we had picked the BM dresses and she wasn't there!!! I called up OH's sister and she was in a real PI** with me about it because she wasn't there to see M try on BM dresses!! Unbelievable!! I explained to her that I was surprised and said she will be there at the fittings but she wasn't interested. After the arguments over the accommodation, I quite frankly couldn't give a toss if she's annoyed. All I care about now is getting my logistical nightmare BM's kitted out!
I love OH's family very much but this week I have really seen a different, rather unpleasant side to them.
I almost feel like saying something but it's not really my place. OH is SO upset. I have never seen him so P****d off with his family like this before. I just don't know what has got into them!
Thanks for letting me rant! Arrgghh!
