OH's stag do

Ditto this (was only reading on my phone earlier so couldn't reply and quote that). Why would any woman not want equal rights and to be treated fairly?

My view is that the existence of strip clubs demonstrates that we are still in a society which does not treat/respect women equally, which is why I object to them. And yes, sure, there are bouncers there, no touching rules etc, but you also always hear that there are girls who will bend the rules, meet punters after work etc.

My H didn't go to a strip club, they went paintballing in the daytime and then went out drinking with his mates, including some women, and it was never really on the agenda. He knows that I object to them and respects my opinion.

Yes, this was exactly what I was trying to get at in my earlier post. It's great that you have now been able to talk about it properly. And thank you for opening up such an interesting debate.

^ this!! I will also be adding this to my vocabulary

Double ditto this.

Right I REALLY feel I can help answer this as I was a stripper/lap dancer for 7 years. I gave up when I met my OH. Strip clubs/lap dancing clubs/pole dancing clubs are all the same thing.

on the one hand people are right, there is heavy security and its no touching.

However I have worked in some well known clubs and left within minutes of working there because there because there were secret rooms, touching allowed and all sorts.

my OH would never go to a strip club because I've told him what they're like (he also wouldn't waste the money!) and he sees it degrading for women.

personally I did feel degraded doing the job and I detested men for years.

Try and have another conversation with him about this, explain how you feel, I like you would feel its like cheating. If it makes you feel any better the women in the clubs are normal like everyone else, they really are nothing spectacular, just heavily made up and sexy clothes. My friend still dances and she is a size 18! I really hope you get this sorted, I really feel for you xxxx

lo

LOL calm down! I believe in equal rights but I'm not one of these women who will run around burning my bras and crying out that I'm feminist. You can share the same views but not feel the need to put yourself in a particular category! I also have views that many feminist would probably want to burn me at the stake for....

i didn't mean to cause offence in saying it... But I was just stating a fact! Disliking strip clubs as nothing to do with being a feminist!

This, completely! Glad you've talked things over and got things sorted OP.

I'm pretty sure most feminists have never burnt a bra. Most of them probably shave their armpits too, if you want to make another old-school generalisation. Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to agree with everything everyone else who also identifies as a feminist says (I happen to think that strip clubs are a big feminist issue, and I'm sure opinion among feminists is very divided on them!), though I'm pretty sure burning anyone at the stake went out several centuries ago.

So why aren't you a feminist?

Um...last time I checked it wasn't the 60's!!! Feminism has moved on a bit since bra burning...if you're not up to date with the issue, don't comment on it!

Pure Annie it's really interesting to hear your experience! Have to admit I'm in two minds as I don't have any experience of strip clubs, part of me thinks no girl would do it in your average strip club (not thinking of the high class, super pricey ones now) and they must be being exploited in some way, but I acknowledge the fact that some girls must do it by choice, strictly for the money. The main reason I would never object to my h2b going to one, is because I wouldn't like it if he protested against me going to a dream boys 'Magic Mike' stylee show, on a hen or whatever.

It doesn't bother me at all. Like someone else said, I know of men who hide it from their partners. I'd rather they are honest, plus I really don't see it as cheating.

Does this mean you DIDN'T fund your medical education by stripping? [shock]

Mooshy....you could always look at it this way.....he's told you his plans which in my book means he isnt likely to want to do anything. If you don't trust him completely, should you be marrying him?!

Give the guy a break, its his stag do, he's going to want to be 'one of the lads', he's not going to get the chance to touch them & who knows he may even come home full of love for you. Relax, it'll be fine!

So on the back of this thread, spoke to OH about it. The feminism arguement came up (how could it not) and basically OH said that he's off on a stag do this weekend coming and they'll be going to a strip club because "that's just what happens on stag do's". I then proceeded to explain to him that that excuse is absolute tosh. Men use this excuse of "oh well, its just what happens on a stag do" to tell themselves its ok to go to one. If they were to visit a strip club on any other day that wasnt a stag do they'd probably be seen as creepy dirty men. IMO. They use the excuse of "it's just what happens on a stag" because they are trying to justify it. So anyway, I digress, OH has now said he'll probably be going to one on his stag. I told him that I do trust him 100% but I really hate strip clubs, and that if he has any respect for me, he'll appreciate that fact and not go. He said its up to his BM. Bit of a cop out in my eyes. I told him if he goes I will find out as all the other lads GFs are my mates so it'll get out. Knob. Think we'll be having a talk tonight.

This hits the nail on the head for me.

Whats 'wrong' in one relationship might be acceptable in another.

It doesn't bother me, My OH wen't to one as a BM and when he came home he told me how expensive and disappointing it was and how he didn't like any of their boobs lol. I plan on seeing half naked men for my hen do (and have absolutely no desire to touch or be touched by them) and i know my OH is the same. He wouldn't be marrying me if he planned on shacking up with a stripper!

Glad it's sorted.

If H was going to go to one I think I could be ok with that in this country (though to be honest I don't think he would be interested at all). I certainly couldn't cope with anything abroad though, after the horror stories he told me about what his mate did during his stag do in Prague. Absolutely vile stuff. It would seem that anything goes over there.

For all you ladies who've said you wouldn't mind as you know the men can't touch the strippers/lapdancers anyway, does this mean that you don't trust your OH not to? Sorry that's just how I've interpreted it.

OB - my OH's stag do is in Brussels, no idea what the 'rules' are in strip clubs over there, but to me it wouldn't make a difference where the stag do is - I trust my OH whether there are no touching 'rules' or not!

Call me paranoid - but was this a little dig aimed at my earlier contribution to the conversation?

It's called a "joke", rather than a "dig".

Paranoid.

Very good. ROFL. LMAO. LOL.

Mooshy what have you started !

No, I made enough money from selling drugs to kids very dull secretarial work.

*JOKING, GMC lurkers!*

I wouldn't be mad about the idea, but I wouldn't consider it cheating (unless he actually did cheat of course). I think if someone was going to cheat on a stag do, they probably couldn't be trusted in most places.