Older brides out there?

Sending hugs to you.

How big is your wedding going to be? With the way the vaccine is being rolled out, there's a good chance small weddings will be able to happen in September. And while I agree getting married 'just so his parents can see it' is not a good reason, you might feel happier if you went ahead, even if the day isn't 100% as you planned.

I'm mid 40s and got married for the first time in July, immediately after the 1st lockdown lifted. While the day wasn't as we planned (13 guests instead of 30, no reception, no 'mingling'), it was still incredibly special, and we have no regrets about going ahead. While there is some sadness over the things we missed, it doesn't compare to our joy at being able to start married life together. And in a time when there is so much gloom and anxiety, weddings are extra special - they really cheer people up, and it's nice to be able to do that too!

I'm almost 40 and never been married before. We've postponed twice. Our third date is in April and we're carrying on regardless now (unless we're still in complete lockdown of course). The day will be as special as YOU make it. Hold on til September, chances are things will look a LOT different then.

I so feel for you.

I’m in my 50s too, and neither I or my fiancé have ever been married. I think it’s even more important to me now than it would have been 30 years ago! I’m desperate for my parents, in their 80s, to be there, but my fiancé’s mum is 90 and won’t be able to travel that far, so there are similarities with your challenge.

I’d love all the bells and whistles, with everyone we know, but like many others will go with a very small do if it means we can marry this year. But if I’d known this was on the cards before COVID and had planned a big do I’d definitely be way more upset than I am (given I never thought this would happen for me I’m just over the moon to be getting married).

How about a small formal ceremony with his parents and a handful of closest friends / family, then a big blessing or similar with the whole wedding party later on, and count that as your ‘real’ wedding?

Thanks ladies, for all your replies.

Feeling slightly more positive today.

We've decided to carry on with our planning and prepping until April/May and then make a decision as by then we should have more information and a bit of an idea how things are progressing.

Actually spent time this morning with my Bridesmaids (my adult daughters from my first marriage), who have been helping me with day-of planning and time lining to try and get me back into it.

Who knows, maybe we will all look back on this one day and think how we dealt with it all!

Hugs to all trying to plan in a pandemic!

Ali xx

Hi hun

Thanks for your reply. It is only a small wedding, 60 including us for the day and about another 40 for the evening.

Our reception venue originally said minimum 80, but we’re getting married in a National Trust property, which has a maximum of 60 for fire regs. We were able to negotiate for 60 if we also paid for a minimum of 80 covers for the evening reception. 60 suits us fine, as my fiancé has a very small family, and mine is sadly not as large as it once was.

Because of our numbers being so small anyway, there’s no real wriggle room on the costs. We have already lived together for 8 years, so there’s no real urgency to get hitched apart from his parents’ age.

We have now decided to continue planning and prepping until early May, and then make a decision based on the vaccination program and how things are looking. If we have to postpone again, I think it will be 2023/2024 before we can get a suitable date!