OMs... did you leave a gratuity for the waiting staff?

Have you received your final bill yet? You might find it included.

We left an envelope of cash (well, my Dad did) with the manager on the night.

No we didn't leave any money. To be honest we were paying the venue so much and there were so many various staff about it really wasn't doable. However by the evening our guests were tipping the bartenders and waitresses as you would usually do so staff got some that way.

I agree I would actually be a bit annoyed if it was added to the bill. We will look to tip/give gifts off our own back if people deserve it, I don't think I'd even be considering it until after the wedding has taken place! Maybe I'm mean haha x

I can see what you mean but no we didn't! Perhaps we were being a bit mean but our venue were charging quite a lot ;-)

I gave a good tip to the hairdresser and she gave me a glass xmas bauble with our wedding year on (xmas wedding) which I thought was very sweet of her!

We gave something to the main wedding planner but I can't remember what - chocs or wine or something!

There was also a wedding planner around more on the day and who seemed to be working his a**e off during the whole weekend - Coordinating the day, working on the bar at night and delivering our room service the next day....he looked exhausted! He was lovely to my little niece when she was tired and upset and gave her a teddy. We left him a tip.

That was it I think!

No, we didn't. Ours was a dry-hire venue so we were paying the catering staff to come in and, well, cater. It cost enough as it was and I think the waiting staff's wages should have been covered by the cost. The payment was all done in advance anyway so it wasn't like going for a meal and leaving £30 to cover the cost of a £25 dinner.

I am a bit bemused by some of the replies here. Of course the cost of the staff is covered by the venue charge. But regardless of what you paid, whether its pennies or tens of thousands, the waiting/bar staff would (likely) still get paid the same.

So I'm not sure I buy the argument that 'our venue had enough money from us anyway' - that doesn't help the minimum wager who has waited on you hand and foot. They don't get the benefit of the premium you paid for an exclusive location, or for booking out all the rooms, or for ordering from the nicest menu.

With everything going on, it didn't even really occur to us until after the day after the wedding. On the day, we had given a present to our venue coordinator, who was amazing. The next day we emailed her to say we would be back after honeymoon with something for the staff. After honeymoon we nipped back and gave some cards and cash in envelopes. The service had truly been amazing.

I understand tipping in places like America where the tip forms part of a server's wage. But we have minimum wage laws here and personally I can't see why waitressing for minimum wage requires a tip whereas working in a shop for minimum wage doesn't. I've worked in a cafe and a shop and the shop was definitely harder work! I do tip in restaurants as it's expected and we factor it in to the cost of going out. But with a wedding where it's paid in advance and there is (usually) a 'wedding premium', it's up to the venue to pay their staff.

If we'd had the reception in a restaurant and been charged the normal food rates then we might have tipped the wait staff (as otherwise, the restaurant would have run as normal and people would have tipped them, so by not tipping you are causing them to lose out on a normal night's "takings") but not when hiring a catering company to cater. They are being paid to cater, I can't understand the need to pay extra for them to do what they were hired and paid to do.

I sort agree with this. Particularly those who work all day and waiting on and may not stay util the pay bar. No matter how much you pay for your venue, you can guarantee most of the staff doing the donkey work won't be on much more than minimum wage.

I think we will have service charge of 8% included in our bill (from looking at the contract) for the wedding breakfast up to the value of £200 I think. Although unsure how this will be split if it even is! I'm sure we'll consider any extra gifts after the day x

I never considered it at all! I sent the co-ordinator a thank you card, but thats all. I would have sent chocs or a small gift if she hadnt missed some crucial things on the day.

I dont get a tip for my job no matter how hard I work. This involves working nights & other unsocial hours, in a fast paced, stressful environment. If the service goes above & beyond your expectations, then yes, I'd give a tip, but if everyone starts expecting tips for just doing their normal job, it will end up like America where a tip is expected ALL the time.

Ours will be added to the final bill (It is up to whether we choose to pay for it or not)