OMs - what are your wedding regrets?

What a great thread, thanks for all the contributions.

This is a brilliant thread - thank you so much to everyone who has made a post!

I'm still in the planning stages (9 months to go!) but I think one regret I will have is that I won't have enjoyed the planning process as much as I should. While the wedding is all I'm thinking about, I'm not enthralled with the organisational aspects of the day - I just want it here and done! Think I'll be feeling a little different once it's over, though.

Having a hair style that was totally not me I was going through a phase of having it curly and have had it straight all the other times and now. It looks awful and not me at all

Thanks for resurrecting this post! I feel like I might go back and read it all again now that I'm a lot further into my planning.

Fantastic thread, thank you to all who have contributed. It has given me a few things to think about!

I haven't met our photographer yet, will be doing so at the end of August, but happy with our choice... we prefer natural shots but I will also put together a list of shots as a lot of my family will be there who I have only recently got in touch with, and my dad and half sister will be there from California which I never expected... so I want to feel confident that they will all be captured in photos!

We are having a ceilidh (and getting married in January!) so not sure about flipflops... what about ballet pumps or slippers... are they relatively cheap in Primark or somewhere as well?

The only thing I regret about mine was two of the guests (a friend and her awful boyfriend). They didn't ruin it or anything, but I could've done without them being there.

I would say that extra shoes is a good idea! I had to change out of my uncomfortable heels into flip flops when we got to the hotel. I bought a purple pair to match my dress and luckily no one could see them as the dress covered them.

This thread is amazing, so glad it was bumped back up. Have spent most of the afternoon reading it, so many helpful ideas.

Thanks everyone who has posted. x

Main regret was using an inexperienced photographer and ending up with NO family group photos and none with the back of dress train fulling out. I'd tied it up after the ceremony and never thought myself to have it all out with the classic wedding look of groom/bride & the train brought around the front.

I wish I'd given her a list and remembered on the night to insist on group/family photos (which I kept thinking we'd do later) I instead ended up with far too many of us with the BM/MOH and absolutely none with parents/grandparents/siblings!

- Pew ends arent necessary and were a waste of money. I dont even remember seeing them on the day!

- I went with a table plan provided by the venue and table numbers 1, 2, 3 etc, but some on here get so stressed about them. Honestly, guests will look at the table plan for 10sec, find their name then find their table. IMO the time and effort brides spend on a specific table plan holder/font/decorating the plan to match the invites etc is a waste of time, for something guests spend seconds looking at!

I would have had the photographer stay through the speeches and first dance - we didn't because we didn't want to stretch the budget to the all day price, but as a result I've got no photos of my dad's speech, the first dance or the father-daughter dance... I didn't think I'd mind but I do!

I'd also have chosen different BMs... I didn't have the balls to "fire" them before the day, but I should have... they were bloody miserable and really affected the mood. I can look back and laugh now, but they were definitely a downer on the day itself (I didn't care once we got to the church, but getting ready together was strained).

To be honest most of the little stuff that wasn't "perfect", didn't matter on the day. Happiness takes over and it's all fine.

I haven't been on Hitched for very long (got engaged in April and getting married 13 August 2016) but I am so glad I found this thread! So many brilliant tips and advice

I got married on Tuesday so I am still on a high about everything!!

I would say though that I'm glad I didn't spend anymore time than I did fussing about table decorations and favours! The guests really don't take much notice of these things.

Same goes for venue decoration - I really don't think people took a blind bit of notice!

Apart from having my children, it was the best day of my life!!

No regrets whatsoever!!

Fantastic thread! So glad I found it right at the start of my planning- some invaluable tips gained already! Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far! ?

I love this thread. I've been engaged over a year and not done any planning (or saving up!) as having our little bundle of joy has taken the forefront. Now I'm just beginning to think about planning and scraping funds together and I don't know where to start or what to prioritise. So I really appreciate all your help and tips!

My first wedding, 10 years ago, was a regret from start to finish. I was pregnant, 18, in an abusive relationship and had no contact with my family. ?. Aside from the twerp I married my regrets are;

*Not having my family there or any of my friends, only his.

*Having a bridesmaid that told me 'We can't talk about what dress you want me to wear because I've already bought mine! ? and the other that wanted nothing to do with me (ex husband's sister).

*Not organising some sort of party for everyone after we disappeared from the wedding breakfast for honeymoon. I don't know what they did!

*Planning everything in a rush and haphazardly. Without said bridesmaid's mum offering to do flowers, decorating, tables and make up etc I would have stood no chance.

Just read this start to finish and even tho I'm marrying abroad with just two witnesses, no reception and no bridesmaids I still found it really helpful.

now to prepare a photo list and find a handbag for make up touching up, and spare shoes so I don't have to keep my snow boots on. Oh and look again at the vog options on a tiny budget.

Thanks everyone, brilliant post. Just creeping under the 5 month to go mark!

Great post, really helpful!

I don't have regrets but these are my tips:

-PLEASE don't sweat the small stuff. Nobody cares about the table plan/favours/centrepieces other than you! Seriously, not one person mentioned our things.

-give your TOG a list of pics you want. There's none of me and my dad, this is my fault!

-don't forget emergency kit of plasters, cool spray, paracetamol, safety pins!

-savour every second. It's over so quickly.

-practise walking in your dress!!!

Just given this another read through across the course of 2 days - thanks! It's just as helpful now for last minute checks as it was at the beginning. I've got many lists but the odd thing has still crept in such as given the TOG group list to Best Man so someone else other than TOG has a copy, and packing my white flip flops in venue bag just incase my shoes give up on me by the evening.

The only slight regret I have is not getting the ceremony filmed. We couldn't have afforded a VOG and I'm not sure if it had of been worth it for us but I do wish we'd just got someone to film it on their phone.

Other than that I wish we'd been a bit better at saving and had some money left from the budget for after the wedding. I want to get a photo book done and a canvas made, I also want to get a book of wedding cards done and need to get my dress dry cleaned but I can't afford to do any of that at the moment. I didn't think beforehand that there'd be so many wedding expenses after the wedding!

Things I don't regret -

Only having one bridesmaid - it made the morning so stress free.

Splashing out on a good photographer, I'v looked at our photo's everday since we got them.

I'm glad I spent time on the little details, I read a lot of people say not to spend too much time over them as no one wil notice on the day. I totally disagree, a lot of people noticed and commented on how nice it all looked and how many nice personal touches there were. I'll also have the photo's forever so I'm glad I spent time making it look nice.

I'm glad I didn't do any extras in the end, we couldn't afford it and people had a great time without us having to spend out a load of money on a photobooth / magician / caricaturist.

Bump!

I have just managed to successfully ignore all of my work this morning, reading through this! This thread has been so bloody useful. I have made several notes from this, and most of it didn't even occur to me, so thank you to all (old and present) OM's who've contributed.

Don't trust friends to do what they say they will do. If it matters to you get a professional to do it.

Definitely make the time to do a tog list. I love my photos but its only now that I can think k oh I haven't got this or that.

And not a regret but a bit of advise. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Laugh it off and go with the flow. It will still be amazing. X

Bump

I'm still beaming after Saturday as it all turned out perfectly! But, if I could change one thing, it would be making sure there was enough time between getting hair and make up done and getting into the dress then just general faffing around and taking time to get my head in the right positive place. It all turned into a mad rush in the end to get me into the dress (with 15 mins to go!) and I have to admit, I had a minor meltdown and just remember thinking 'I wish I didn't feel this way, I'm ruining it!' In the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter at all as everything was so magical for the rest of the day - but definitely allow enough time so there isn't a mad stressful rush in the end!

? cheers!

Great thread! Very helpful!

Wow - such a great thread! Took me forever to read the whole thing but it's the most useful thread I've read on Hitched - thanks for all the advice ladies!

Why do you regret the toastmaster?

I wish I had gone for the more expensive flowers, which I actually wanted, rather than the cheaper ones - but that is a minor thing.

I wish I had chosen a different photographer. Ours has taken some great photos and has reams of qualifications, credentials and experience - but I gave him a list of shots I wanted him to take and he missed out loads (including really basic stuff like me with all my BMs, OH with all his groomsmen etc) and he has also been really rubbish on the communication front since the wedding. We've reluctantly, and very politely, complained to him and I'm just hoping that he doesn't take a strop and not give us our photos.

Not getting the ceremony filmed.

Oh and not doing a speech. Why the chuff did I let the men all stand around talking about me without putting my POV forwards? Madness.

And changing my name.

Why changing your name mini??