Only inviting parents to our very low key wedding in Greta Green! How to let everyone else down??!

We wanted to go to Gretna, just the two of us, but felt guilty so we are getting married on a Thursday at the local register office with our parents and his kids.

We are then having a big party and, with the exception of my sister who likes to be the centre of attention, everyone has been more than happy as long as they are invited to the party.

The party doesn't need to be an expensive, wedding reception-style party but people will want to celebrate with you, especially as you are planning to emigrate!

I got married, with just my 2 boys, and 2 friends as witnesses. We then had drinks and a meal afterwards, where my folks were invited.

We just wanted to be married, with zero fuss, and that is what we got.

I never told people we were getting married, except my parents, who I told just before we got married. It saved a lot of hassle/questions beforehand, was a lot easier to tell everyone else after we were married.

You could still have a low key ceremony with only 10 or so people there, you just need to be strict and limit it to parents/siblings/grandparents. Get married, then go for a meal afterwards. That may be enough, or if you want to you could have a party when you get back as suggested? If you are close to your grandparents I'd not cut them out.

I'd originally wanted only close family at the ceremony, but then my friends said it was a public building and they were coming anyway! If I'd extended it then it would have snowballed anyway, I think you have to be all or nothing in these cases.

We are getting married in Jamaica just the two of us as this is what we wanted. We are having a party back here on our return & we are having a couple of speaches, a seating plan, first dance etc to make it a bit more formal.

His mum isn't happy about it at all, but at the end of the day, its what we want. Its our wedding, not hers. This might sound a bit harsh, but we decided that we had to do what we wanted, not what someone else wanted. You cant please everyone so you sometimes just need to bite the bullet & do what you both really want to do.

Dont risk looking back & wishing you had done it differently. Good luck with whatever you decide xx

I would size it up with your parents about how the grandparents might feel, maybe get them to help you do damage control as such, and I would say make a big fuss of your grandparents at the celebration party

We're having a small wedding with just our close family attending then a big party later. We felt that we wanted to celebrate but did not want the fuss of a huge wedding, let alone the cost! I wouldn't leave your grandparents out as I think you will regret it later. Also, as you are emigrating, you will want the memories of a wedding with them there to take with you x

We got married at Gretna, with the wedding coordinator and tog as witnesses, then called our families to tell them. We just didn't want the fuss.

One word of caution; please go and visit the venues to choose one. Some are vile. And the 'services' offered by some of the coordinators cost hundereds and it can all be done yourself. There are some awful suppliers up there too. Please feel free to pm me for more info.

Thanks for all your replies / advice ladies :-)

I am going to call the registry off in Gretna tomorrow to reserve a date! Eeeeeeek!

I will speak to my grandparents of Friday about my plans and reasons for such a low key / no fuss wedding and hope they understand, and of course will involve them in the celebration plans. It's not that I don't want them there I do, but then we couldn't leave out my grandma on my mum's side, then my grandparents-in-law, then it would start with siblings and their partners and so on and so on! Then I start breaking out in a sweat at the thought of all these people!! Lol

One of my brothers did this Just him & his wife, our Mum and his wifes Mum as witnesses.
Afterwards we met them and went for a meal but there was only about 10 of us even then.
I'm sure your grandparents will understand and you could maybe go out for a nice meal with them or something in returning or do something like that to make them feel special and a bit included in your day?
Some people just don't like the fuss of big weddings it's a personal choice so like I say i'm sure they'll be fine with it x

Hi.

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Lynne

I thought i'd post here as we've literally just decided on Gretna too! I can understand your issues with who to invite as that's precisely the reason we decided to elope. It was a whole family or no family decision for us and whole family just meant too much hassle so it's going to be My partner, our daughter and I. At the end of the day you need to go with what feels right to you. We've told parents and grandparents what we're planning and none of them mind as, in their words, "if it makes you happy, It makes us happy". I'm sure your family would feel the same if you explain your reasons? x