Opinion on non-bridesmaids, bridesmaids

I'm nor having beudesmaids but 2 of my friends are coming over to help me get ready. They know I'm not one for lots of "faf" and I didn't want to have any bridesmaids but they are more than happy to come help me get ready

I would far rather be asked to do that than have to get dressed up as a bridesmaid!

I was going to do this with my closest friend only Covid meant I had to get ready on my own. But I think it's a great idea.

I think that’s a lovely idea! And I’m sure if they’re able to make it that your friends would love to support you - I think I’d be a nervous wreck getting ready on my own!

We're each having a best women, who will get ready with us on the morning but they are wearing what they feel comfortable with. It's just the way it worked out for us and they were the people who we asked to go outfit shopping with us and who we wanted there to support us.

I’m not having bridesmaids but I have asked my sister and sister-in-law to be “bridal assistants”. I created a WhatsApp group with the two of them and in a sort of jokey way gave them a ‘job description’ saying I would like their assistance in arranging a ‘hen’ activity and with getting ready on the day, ensuring all the guests are in the right place at the right time and just checking all the decor is setup ect.. to which they both replied “of course, challenge accepted”. As I realised that despite not wanting traditional bridesmaids I will actually need assistance with these things lol.


I’ve made it clear they’re not bridesmaids though so I won’t be buying them dresses or a bouquet or getting them to walk down the isle, but have said if they want to coordinate outfits to match my colour theme then they can if they want. And it would be nice to have some company getting ready on the morning so it’s not just me and the MUA at the venue getting ready by ourselves!

Thanks for the responses all ☺️. Made me feel it's ok to ask them to do this.

View quoted message Might have to steal the bridal assistants idea!

Good luck with this this is what I did with my 2 best friend's and they were both devastated not to be bridesmaids and now refuse to show any interest in the wedding or hen do the only thing they are doing is staying with me the night before x

My wedding is going to be split into two parts - we’re having a private ceremony with just our parents on the Thursday, then a garden party with our closest friends and family on the Saturday.


Despite our unconventional approach, I’ve still asked my best friend to be my Maid of Honour. I hadn’t actually thought of having one, but she made it clear that just because I wasn’t following the traditional format, it didn’t mean I had to organise everything myself! I could tell it meant a lot to her to be involved in helping me plan my wedding. She helped my choose my dress, she’s helping planning the garden party, and she’s also helping with the hen do. On the day of the garden party, she can just enjoy it like all the other guests!
I think your friends will be happy to support you in whatever role, just have a chat with them ☺️

I think that’s a great idea! I know a bride who did that and it was so much better

My close friend didn’t have bridesmaids but asked me, another friend and her cousin to spend the night before together, get ready the morning of the wedding etc. The bride asked me and my other friend to be witnesses, so we still had a role.
I didn’t mind at all. I still planned the hen night and went dress shopping with her. I even travelled to the venue with her. We were like bridesmaids but without the dress or the flowers! I think it’s fine. If they’re true friends, they’ll understand and will still like to be involved.

I've chosen bit

I've chosen not to have any bridesmaids. I have asked my mum, my mum's best friend who I've known all my life and my closest friend to help me get ready. My friend was happy with it, she still organised my hen do and helped with everything. Instead I've got her little girl as flower girl. It's an unnecessary stress and added cost.

I think if it’s genuinely just getting ready in the morning, then totally fine. However, I think if it’s going to veer into planning a hen do and being a go to for support/opinions during wedding planning then I really think it’s kinder and more appreciative to make them bridesmaids - even if it’s a low key version of the role.


Might be a know your crowd thing too. Think about things like how they would feel being asked to do this but not be a bridesmaid, how likely they are to get to be a bridesmaid again (and therefore how important being one in your wedding might be to them), how close you’ve been over the years, how much work you’ll be asking of them and the level of thanks that feels worthy of.