OT hen weekend disappointment

I feel ya! Mine is in two weeks and - to cut a long story short - it culminated in my two best friends and my mum emailing me to say "*** them all, let's have fun on our own"!!! We've now reached a compromise where I do my dress fitting with mum and besties in the morning, then a nice spa in the afternoon with more people and a fancy dress club night with everyone who wants to come.

Unfortunately, some people are just non-commital which does really bug me as it means some plans fall through. So we've now got a combination of events for those who are committed and those who just want to join in the fun :-).

I only picked 10 of my closest not like there is huge group of us which is why I am even more disappointed, its nice to get support on here tho that its not just me having the same hassle.

Your hen sounds great, including your dress fitting in with the day is such a nice idea.

I trust my best mate implicitly so I know I will have a fabulous time, I am being completely surprised for mine and only know the date and that its an overnighter. I just feel annoyed that my bessie mate is doing her best to make it a good one for me and other people are making it difficult and at the last minute too!!!

It's great you trust your best mate, just concentrate on having a great time and I'm sure you will! I'm glad hitched is here as at first I felt really inadequate for finding the hen a bit of a PITA. Now it's a lot less 'organised' I feel much better!

I hate it too when people you think would care just don't seem to.

Just have a great time without them instead. Could you ask a couple of other friends to come in their place?

Im starting to get a tad ''twitchy'' as far as my hen weekend is concerned too, as there is still £700 outstanding and the girls arent exactly being forthcoming with their installments, im constantly having to chase them for it, the balance isnt due until 7th May but ive told them the end of April so i do have some time yet but like i said iam starting to get nervous about it! ☹️

I think if them cancelling is going to cost everyone else extra then they should have to pay whatever that is

Cancelling 2 weeks before is not on

I would ask them for the money, they booked it so should be liable to pay any outstanding money owed.

Oh hun, i think everyone has the same issue when it comes to hen weekends, my CBM is planning mine and is not booking until she has deposits to cover the rooms off everyone. it is a shame, and i would be annoyed too chick, chin up and have a fab weekend x x x

This is one of the things that annoy me most in life - people who let you down at the last minute.

I've had this issue too - my sis is arranging the hen weekend and had it all sorted then people dropped out and had to rearrange the whole thing. I had only invited about 12 people to it in the first place so I don't know how many people are actually coming now.

I would tell them that unfortunately its been booked and paid for and they will have to at least pay some of the costs. If they had said before it was booked it would have been fine but its unfair to expect everybody else to pay for them when they are the ones that have pulled out last minute. The question you have to ask them is would they be happy paying for somebody else if it were the other way round????

Its just shocking!!!!

Thanks for the support ladies this is why I love hitched ?

I do feel inclined to get my mate to tell them that they still have to pay, if you booked a holiday and cancelled at such late notice you wouldnt expect to get away without paying or atleast losing a deposit. I'm more disappointed about the fact that one of the girls I have been friends with since I was 14 that she doesnt feel that my hen weekend was important enough to put some money aside for she has known for 4 months about the cost!!!

I did have a couple of other people in mind but at such late notice finding £120 isnt gonna be easy for anyone and also because I have such a large family i have had to be quite strict about number of friends invited to wedding so have been limited in terms of who could also come on hen weekend, cant exactly invite someone on hen weekend and then not invite to wedding LOL

I dont wanna fall out with anyone but they have really disappointed me. You certainly find out who your real friends are at times like this!!

I'm having the same problem.

I'm going away in May, and the final amount needs to be paid by the 19th March, however i've told them by end of Feb. Majority of them have paid, but there are 2 dragging their heels!

I have said, look if you don't want to come, or cannot afford it then please say now! But just haven't had a reply from them.

And it is frustrating!!!!! As i know if they don't let me know we probably are going to have to foot the outstanding amount!!

I feel for you too MsJackson, it's definitely not just you this kind of thing has happened to!

I think in a way, it comes to things like this when you find out who your true friends are. There are some things you just wouldn't do to a close friend unless there was a really good reason, and dropping out of your hen weekend 2 weeks before is one of them. ?

My CBM has organised mine too and one of my friends in particular was awful, never got back to her at all until the deposit had to be paid, and then just sent her a facebook message saying she didn't have the money and would try and get a later flight out. I know this is a load of rubbish because she's always going away with her work friends and boyfriend, plus T and I have been engaged over 3 years and she knew full well there would be a hen weekend, it's not like it's being sprung on her. It's a really good deal too so we're not asking her to pay a fortune either. We've been close friends for nearly 10 years now and she always lets me down.

I'm not saying that friends should just drop everything to make sure they can come to your hen weekend, I'm just saying if it was one of my closest friends that's what I'd do. And certainly wouldn't let them down 2 weeks before. It's funny, out of all of my friends the ones that have been the best throughout this are the ones I've only known 2 years, girlfriends of 2 of OH's mates.

Try not to take it too personally but definitely don't foot the bill for them. You'll have a fantastic hen weekend anyway ?

Been there, got the t-shirt! ?

I managed to find someone else to come along on mine by letting the person who dropped out know that they wouldn't be getting their deposit back and then giving a lower price to the person who filled in. Is that an option for you? If the costs will have to be split amongst everyone still going, find someone who can come if it was cheaper and tell them they can pay you in installments?

I offered someone a place at £100 instead of the £155, but didn't give the drop out their £35 deposit back so I only ended up losing £20 iyswim?

Its pants isnt it! Thats why I didnt want to organise mine, ive got enough stress leading up to the wedding.

Also I think its rude, everyone knows that everything costs money, so for your friends to back out when things are booked isnt nice!

enjoy it anyway and have a great time with the people that want to be with you xxx

Haha! The curse of this thread - someone else has just pulled out of mine!

Bit late coming in here, but its so annoying isnt it! I do think that as they have pulled out so late they should still pay for their spaces, its even more unfair of them to pull put then expect you to foot the bill.

Really hope you get it sorted! x

I've had a chat with my best mate and we have agreed that she will tell them that they have to pay up half seeing as they have left it to last minute and if they have a moan I will deal with it. Whats making me more angry is that both of them have asked my best mate not to tell me as they want to tell me..... well I'm still waiting for that!! One of the girls even had the cheek to leave a message on my FB wall telling me what a great mate I am this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!

The girls that are coming are all being wonderful and keeping my spirits up so I know I am going to have a wonderful weekend. I am going to buy my best mate something special for all the organising and showing me just what a great mate I have in her. ?

Thanks again ladies for all you support.